A tame spider once lived in my garden, in the eaves of the shed that overhung my potting table, quite a big fellow with long legs and a body like a pea. He liked to jump down to the table and look at me, so I taught him a few simple commands. 'Come' meant run towards me, 'Go' meant run away from me, 'Squat' was just that, if I said 'Play dead' he would lie on his back, and 'Wiggle' was lie upside down waving his legs.
Sadly one day I walked ouside just as two young robins finished pecking off his legs; they flew off taking a leg each and poor old Spidey was left in a pile of the others, waving his pedipalps sadly.
I thought he needed cheering up so I said 'Come' in a friendly way; no response.
'Ok then, Go' I said. Not a sign of movement. 'Squat' - nothing. 'Play dead', 'Wiggle' - still no reaction. I guess spiders hear through their legs.
Reminds me of one about native Indians on a train and little squaw fetching cold drinks for all. After many trips she returned one time with no water because big chief Sitting Bull was sitting on the well.
That must have been from the Beano. They were on their way to a garden centre..so it's a gardening joke Verd
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Last night I was checking out my plants for caterpiller tracks when the tank ran me over . . . .
Daintiness - hah!
Panda ... were they squash plants?
A tame spider once lived in my garden, in the eaves of the shed that overhung my potting table, quite a big fellow with long legs and a body like a pea. He liked to jump down to the table and look at me, so I taught him a few simple commands. 'Come' meant run towards me, 'Go' meant run away from me, 'Squat' was just that, if I said 'Play dead' he would lie on his back, and 'Wiggle' was lie upside down waving his legs.
Sadly one day I walked ouside just as two young robins finished pecking off his legs; they flew off taking a leg each and poor old Spidey was left in a pile of the others, waving his pedipalps sadly.
I thought he needed cheering up so I said 'Come' in a friendly way; no response.
'Ok then, Go' I said. Not a sign of movement. 'Squat' - nothing. 'Play dead', 'Wiggle' - still no reaction. I guess spiders hear through their legs.
Like others on this forum, I have millet growing from birdseed. Mine ripened so I ate a few grains raw; they were hard and dry,
Later my mouth was hurting so I went to the dentist thinking some millet was lodged somewhere I couldn't reach.
The dentist took a look. "That's not millet" he said "it's just a sorghum".
I've just remembered one from my youth.
Mary had a little Lamb, she kept it in a bucket,
Cos' everytime she took it out the dog would try to kiss it.
Soz Verd, guess I'm now disqualified.
Smokin
Old ones are the best.
Reminds me of one about native Indians on a train and little squaw fetching cold drinks for all. After many trips she returned one time with no water because big chief Sitting Bull was sitting on the well.
That must have been from the Beano. They were on their way to a garden centre..so it's a gardening joke Verd
A man goes into a shop and asks the shopkeeper if they sell potatao clocks,
"a potato clock sir,what do you want that for"
Well I,m always late for work at nine,and my boss said I would be on time if I got up a potato clock.!
Does the Times have a better class of joke?