Yes, but we knew that anyway. Take advice about how much care he needs now and whether moving him will help him settle or add to the general confusion. Ask yourself if you want your memories of your home together to include his dying there. How will you cope when the end comes?
Big decision, not to be taken lightly.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
No, @Hostafan1 A normal reaction, especially at Christmas. You just want him to be happy. Needs thinking through - just managing a situation should it arise.
@chicky Congratulations! A wonderful achievement. So what happens now?
Ask yourself if you want your memories of your home together to include his dying there. How will you cope when the end comes?
Big decision, not to be taken lightly.
Oh I can vouch for that, it’s not so much that they die there but those last weeks at home, the suffering on all sides, the work you accept, it’s what we do, but it’s not nice. Its Still as fresh in my mind now as when it happened, 2015/6.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
@Hostafan1, I may be at odds with many here, but if his mobility is now decreased and you know he can't escape, I think I probably would. I think you know what the work would be and you just want him to spend his last days at home, makes a lot of sense.
How can you lie there and think of England When you don't even know who's in the team
It’s definitely rewarding if you can take the strain of it, it would make a big difference if you can get some social care, but doing it on your own is hard. When they need turning or the bed changing, they sometimes panic so it’s a help to have two people, but if you know you can cope then, yes, it’s the best, I’m very glad I did it.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
I wouldn't, in your shoes, Hosta. I'd be afraid to sleep. The nurses were very keen that my Mum didn't die at home because they were worried how Dad would feel if he woke up and she'd died in the night and he didn't know. It's a very personal decision, only you know what you can bear
Gardening on the edge of Exmoor, in Devon
“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
If course it has to be up to you @Hostafan1 but if it were me I wouldn’t. Towards the end Ma didn’t know where she was (most of the time she thought she was at her maternal grandparents’ place) … she just knew that she wasn’t alone and that there was someone holding her hand 24/7. There was always a member of staff available to sit with her if I needed to sleep or use the bathroom or whatever … if I was sleeping they called me whenever she woke a bit, and the kindness and support I received from the staff was so appreciated.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
I agree Dove, you know the struggles I had at that time, a few people here were of comfort and gave me sensible advise, it depends on what one can cope with. when they’re in a home you go in and hold their hand and talk to them, you don’t see the behind the scenes stuff. It’s all very peaceful.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Hello everyone. Be just read back a couple of days so it seems everything has changed. Hosta, I nursed my Mum until she went, but everyone’s experience is different. In the end it’s up to you. Best wishes to you both.
Punkdoc, sorry your MIL has had a change of circumstances. Hopefully between your family members, it’ll get sorted soon. Dry tricky.
Chicky, you’ve brought back memories for me. Our Horticulture course was over a three year period, but only one day a week, so I was able to get one day a week off from work to attend. Very busy life with work and family ( Hubby and three kids). Loved it all though. I’m glad you’ve done so well.
Posts
Hugs to everyone who needs one.
Well done @chicky.
I'm thinking of having Hubby home . Am I mad?
Big decision, not to be taken lightly.
@chicky Congratulations! A wonderful achievement. So what happens now?
Its Still as fresh in my mind now as when it happened, 2015/6.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
When they need turning or the bed changing, they sometimes panic so it’s a help to have two people, but if you know you can cope then, yes, it’s the best, I’m very glad I did it.
It's a very personal decision, only you know what you can bear
“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
when they’re in a home you go in and hold their hand and talk to them, you don’t see the behind the scenes stuff.
It’s all very peaceful.
Hosta, I nursed my Mum until she went, but everyone’s experience is different. In the end it’s up to you. Best wishes to you both.
Punkdoc, sorry your MIL has had a change of circumstances. Hopefully between your family members, it’ll get sorted soon. Dry tricky.
Time for bed here, so night, night all.