Fairygirl, the way I understand it at the moment the landlord has a specific contract for a particular amount of time with the letting agents, but that of course would be wonderful. He isnt happy with the letting agent (of course!) its a bit complicated, because when she moved in with the kids dad, she was pregnant and with a baby in tow, he didnt earn very good money so his Dad was guarantor, so la have said why cant he be guarantor this time, she said because its her EXES Dad, and she has a new bloke, new bloke earns good money and she is now working, according to the tenancy agreement they have to have a guarantor if they dont earn 2.5 times the rent, they have far more than that, AND its in black and white in the tenancy agreement, but la wont budge.ironically, it is because she wanted to do everything legally and by the book, the way I have taught her. At the moment, with 2 kids and working about 25 hours a week she gets some housing benefit, which will stop when the boyfriend moves in,she wanted to put him on the tenancy, partly because they are a couple, and so that there was a "proper" moving in date for the council. When she split up with the kids Dad, (he moved back home to his parents) she got a letter saying her housing benefit was stopping, (this was before kids were school age, and she wasnt working) because he was living with her, she rang, was told they had no other address for him, so she said "Oh, thats strange because you just sent him a tx return to his address at his parents house", they deneyed this, (this wasnt the council it was ? DWP) so she gave them all the reference numbers etc, they said they "would look into it", never rang back, eventually her housing benefit was respored. Guaranor Dad is uni proffessor and wife a qualified lawyer, so dont mess with them! I suggested she spoke to them, they are lovelly, BUT she feels awkwrad about that because she is no longer with their son, (he is living with new girlfriend and more babies) Mum would like it if they got back together, BUT they are both out of the country at the moment anyway.
Monring all/afties Pat - something slightly sad about your last pepper... but I'm sure he'll taste lovely
chicky - do you think tyour toms and Dove's might attempt to take over the world in a triffid like way?
Hope you can get them tied back in without too many casualties. I've never tried the string alone method. Always like a cane in for security
BL- sounds like you had a great day. Was MrB the icing on the cake? And the cherry on top? Not that he does anything for me...no sirree....not a bit....nothing....zip....
NBeach - never straightforward is it? HMRC are hopeless - like most councils. A**e and elbow.
Off for a quick look round before I go. Hopefully it'll clear up later like it eventually did yesterday. At least none of the pots need watering, let alone anything else. Have a good day everyone - if possible
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Well it has finally stopped raining, a lot of local roads flooded last night, but other than some white water in the stream [ had to shut bedroom window last night, as it was so noisy ] everything is fine.
Mum phoned last night, said she wanted to move back home. Think she was being a bit wilful and she is blaming my 2 sisters and I for making the decision for her moving.
Have a good day.
How can you lie there and think of England When you don't even know who's in the team
Oh dear Pdoc ... that sort of thing does happen ... I can't remember, does she have dementia? If so I don't see anything wrong with saying stuff like ..."but they've got you on the list for dinner tonight" and "well, your room's reserved for a while longer, but when the doctor says you're better .............. " etc. Ma lived in the moment, and if things could be smoothed over like that she relaxed and was fine. She'd forgotten about it by the next day ............. that's not to say that she wouldn't say the same things later on .... but she didn't remember having said them previously or the answers that had been given.
To start with my brother insisted on ' being honest' with Ma, but he came to agree with me that honesty could result in Ma being upset and anxious and that it wasn't kind ........ and the most important thing at that stage of the dementia was keeping her happy and settled.
If she starts demanding to go home and she does have dementia she may need a formal diagnosis (if she doesn't have one already) and then Deprivation of Liberty paperwork will have to be completed, otherwise the home can be accused of imprisoning her. If you want to know more about that give me a shout. ((hugs)) Been there and done that
Hosta and Lyn ... have a lovely day ... hope the weather is kind to you.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Yes, for a long while it's hard to know where forgetfulness and muddle ends and dementia begins ... and as the person begins to realise that they don't have the grip on things that they used to, they get anxious and stressed and that makes the muddle worse 'cos you don't function at your best when you're anxious. Things like ... well, you've made a commitment or it's all paid for so you can stay here for the summer so the room's reserved, and then we can see how things are .................. and then of course, when the weather starts to turn you can say that it'll be better to stay for the winter, because of course, the heating in the Lovely Home is free so she'll be saving money .... that often helps
Ma quite liked to know that the Lovely Home were counting on her staying there, because it was so helpful to have someone like her to help the 'less with it' to settle in ......... appeal to their vanity ... it usually works...... on the surface it can sound wrong, but if it means she's in a safe place and happy most of the time ... so much better than being home along and risking falls etc.
The elderly chap who lives next door to us is on his own ... he can't walk now and has carers coming in 4 times a day, but his daughter lives in Scotland and teaches so she can only get here in the holidays ... the carers are the only people he sees for days/weeks on end. We only met him a couple of times when we moved here, and although we hold a house key and have his daughter's number she says not to visit as it would confuse him. I'd rather be in a Lovely Home (and many of them are lovely) with stuff going on than be on my own with only the tv for company.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
I'd rather be in a lovely home too when I get to that stage. My Mum was and she chose to go to it so we were lucky, not having to make a difficult decision or feel guilty. My problem is that I don't want to go into a French home, good though they are, and cheaper than in England. It's the language, when I'm old and muddled I want to speak English.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
Posts
Fairygirl, the way I understand it at the moment the landlord has a specific contract for a particular amount of time with the letting agents, but that of course would be wonderful. He isnt happy with the letting agent (of course!) its a bit complicated, because when she moved in with the kids dad, she was pregnant and with a baby in tow, he didnt earn very good money so his Dad was guarantor, so la have said why cant he be guarantor this time, she said because its her EXES Dad, and she has a new bloke, new bloke earns good money and she is now working, according to the tenancy agreement they have to have a guarantor if they dont earn 2.5 times the rent, they have far more than that, AND its in black and white in the tenancy agreement, but la wont budge.ironically, it is because she wanted to do everything legally and by the book, the way I have taught her. At the moment, with 2 kids and working about 25 hours a week she gets some housing benefit, which will stop when the boyfriend moves in,she wanted to put him on the tenancy, partly because they are a couple, and so that there was a "proper" moving in date for the council. When she split up with the kids Dad, (he moved back home to his parents) she got a letter saying her housing benefit was stopping, (this was before kids were school age, and she wasnt working) because he was living with her, she rang, was told they had no other address for him, so she said "Oh, thats strange because you just sent him a tx return to his address at his parents house", they deneyed this, (this wasnt the council it was ? DWP) so she gave them all the reference numbers etc, they said they "would look into it", never rang back, eventually her housing benefit was respored. Guaranor Dad is uni proffessor and wife a qualified lawyer, so dont mess with them! I suggested she spoke to them, they are lovelly, BUT she feels awkwrad about that because she is no longer with their son, (he is living with new girlfriend and more babies) Mum would like it if they got back together, BUT they are both out of the country at the moment anyway.
Monring all/afties Pat - something slightly sad about your last pepper...
but I'm sure he'll taste lovely 
chicky - do you think tyour toms and Dove's might attempt to take over the world in a triffid like way?
Hope you can get them tied back in without too many casualties. I've never tried the string alone method. Always like a cane in for security
BL- sounds like you had a great day. Was MrB the icing on the cake? And the cherry on top? Not that he does anything for me...no sirree....not a bit....nothing....zip....
NBeach - never straightforward is it? HMRC are hopeless - like most councils. A**e and elbow.
Off for a quick look round before I go. Hopefully it'll clear up later like it eventually did yesterday. At least none of the pots need watering, let alone anything else. Have a good day everyone - if possible
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Morning all.
Have put photos of my visit to Sandringham Flower Show on this thread http://www.gardenersworld.com/forum/the-potting-shed/garden-visits-2017/996776-5.html#latest
There are some lovely photos of gardens on that thread.
Morning all.
The lovely Lyn woke me this morning and told me to get my sorry old ass out of bed and get ready to go visit Rosemoor.
Well, kinda.
Breakfast needed then sort myself out and get into gear.
BL, glad you had a lovely day ,and no, your post was not in the slightest bit out of place.
Another CB fan here too.
Hi all.
Well it has finally stopped raining, a lot of local roads flooded last night, but other than some white water in the stream [ had to shut bedroom window last night, as it was so noisy ] everything is fine.
Mum phoned last night, said she wanted to move back home. Think she was being a bit wilful and she is blaming my 2 sisters and I for making the decision for her moving.
Have a good day.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
Oh dear Pdoc ... that sort of thing does happen ... I can't remember, does she have dementia? If so I don't see anything wrong with saying stuff like ..."but they've got you on the list for dinner tonight" and "well, your room's reserved for a while longer, but when the doctor says you're better .............. " etc. Ma lived in the moment, and if things could be smoothed over like that she relaxed and was fine. She'd forgotten about it by the next day ............. that's not to say that she wouldn't say the same things later on .... but she didn't remember having said them previously or the answers that had been given.
To start with my brother insisted on ' being honest' with Ma, but he came to agree with me that honesty could result in Ma being upset and anxious and that it wasn't kind ........ and the most important thing at that stage of the dementia was keeping her happy and settled.
If she starts demanding to go home and she does have dementia she may need a formal diagnosis (if she doesn't have one already) and then Deprivation of Liberty paperwork will have to be completed, otherwise the home can be accused of imprisoning her. If you want to know more about that give me a shout. ((hugs)) Been there and done that
Hosta and Lyn ... have a lovely day ... hope the weather is kind to you.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
BL it sounds like you had a lovely day ....... I'll have a look at the photos in a min .........
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Thanks Dove, enormously helpful, as always.
We do not think she has dementia and neither does her GP, she is just a bit forgetful, like many 90 year old people.
I think your approach may be helpful. Youngest sister is going today and we will see where we are then.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
Yes, for a long while it's hard to know where forgetfulness and muddle ends and dementia begins ... and as the person begins to realise that they don't have the grip on things that they used to, they get anxious and stressed and that makes the muddle worse 'cos you don't function at your best when you're anxious. Things like ... well, you've made a commitment or it's all paid for so you can stay here for the summer so the room's reserved, and then we can see how things are .................. and then of course, when the weather starts to turn you can say that it'll be better to stay for the winter, because of course, the heating in the Lovely Home is free
so she'll be saving money .... that often helps 
Ma quite liked to know that the Lovely Home were counting on her staying there, because it was so helpful to have someone like her to help the 'less with it' to settle in ......... appeal to their vanity ... it usually works...... on the surface it can sound wrong, but if it means she's in a safe place and happy most of the time ... so much better than being home along and risking falls etc.
The elderly chap who lives next door to us is on his own ... he can't walk now and has carers coming in 4 times a day, but his daughter lives in Scotland and teaches so she can only get here in the holidays ... the carers are the only people he sees for days/weeks on end. We only met him a couple of times when we moved here, and although we hold a house key and have his daughter's number she says not to visit as it would confuse him. I'd rather be in a Lovely Home (and many of them are lovely) with stuff going on than be on my own with only the tv for company.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
I'd rather be in a lovely home too when I get to that stage. My Mum was and she chose to go to it so we were lucky, not having to make a difficult decision or feel guilty. My problem is that I don't want to go into a French home, good though they are, and cheaper than in England. It's the language, when I'm old and muddled I want to speak English.