Hello, sorry just need to rant and didn't want to bring the tone of the chatty thread down.
Anyway, as some of you know I have recently split with OH and it has been very tricky. However, this week school has gone back, my obligation to work for him has finished and I was just starting to calm down and enjoy the peace and security (and privacy) of my own little house. I had to miss the first 2 days of Charlie starting back at school (obviously we have to share our time with Charlie) but I was looking forward to a full week-end with him.
Then OH, without even consulting me, arranged for a friend of Charlie's to go around to his house for Saturday afternoon to play on his new game (a game OH bought for his birthday at a ridiculous price, a game I just can't afford or actually think is a good idea). Of course, by the time I knew anything about it Charlie & his friend were really excited about it so I have had to bring Charlie over. The only good thing is that OH (perhaps I should be saying ex OH now) has gone out for the day, so although I am stuck here at least I don't have to talk to him.
Just fuming really, feel like I have been manipulated and although could have refused I was put in a position of disappointing 2 excited little boys.
OH didn't (apparently) see any problem, he " was only thinking of Charlie".
So, I am going to the cinema at 18:00 with the boys but until them am stuck in a home that is no longer mine, feeling resentful and trapped, which was the reason I went in the first place.
Lesson learned I suppose, have to spell it out that if I have Charlie for the week-end - that means I have him and I decide who with and where he plays.
Last edited: 03 September 2016 13:45:44
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
Lots and lots of ((hugs)) DD ... as you said, forewarned is forearmed.
Also, keep a diary (times, dates, arrangements kept and broken) - it may be handy in the future. It's a shame, but best be prepared - these things sometimes get worse before they get better.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
How frustrating, you've every right to be furious. Well done keeping your cool and not spoiling the boys fun, a sign of a truly caring parent putting the child first, not using them for petty mind games.
Seems you are moving on but the ex is struggling to cope and feels the need to play silly beggars in a sneaky attempt for control.
Maybe make the boys some messy snacks and use as many kitchen utensils as possible and leave the mess piled up in the sink for his return from day out
Thanks both, been trying to convince myself it was all a innocent misunderstanding, but I know it isn't really. Good advice Dove too, I was hoping things would be smoother now but not a good start to the new arrangements.
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
Just make things clear that he can only plan things for 'his time' - you may well have planned things for your time, and next time you will not change your plans to fit in with him, unless something has happened over which he has no control.
Smile nicely but start as you mean to go on. ((hugs))
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
He wasn't " only thinking about Charlie" it's all about control, on his terms.
He was, as seems to always be the case ,thinking of himself, scoring points and forcing you to do something he must know full well you would not want to do. It was certainly no "innocent misunderstanding"
If it was just for Charlie, why has he swanned off , presumably to do something HE wants to do? Surely he'd have wanted to stay and spend quality time with Charlie?
Excellent advice , as per, from Dove. keep a diary.
Posts
Wonky, your mum is right to be proud you are obviously what my gran used to call "a good egg" and it never got better than that from her!!
Thanks everyone
A A Milne
Thanks Lilyp
sounds good to me! X
Hello, sorry just need to rant and didn't want to bring the tone of the chatty thread down.
Anyway, as some of you know I have recently split with OH and it has been very tricky. However, this week school has gone back, my obligation to work for him has finished and I was just starting to calm down and enjoy the peace and security (and privacy) of my own little house. I had to miss the first 2 days of Charlie starting back at school (obviously we have to share our time with Charlie) but I was looking forward to a full week-end with him.
Then OH, without even consulting me, arranged for a friend of Charlie's to go around to his house for Saturday afternoon to play on his new game (a game OH bought for his birthday at a ridiculous price, a game I just can't afford or actually think is a good idea). Of course, by the time I knew anything about it Charlie & his friend were really excited about it so I have had to bring Charlie over. The only good thing is that OH (perhaps I should be saying ex OH now) has gone out for the day, so although I am stuck here at least I don't have to talk to him.
Just fuming really, feel like I have been manipulated and although could have refused I was put in a position of disappointing 2 excited little boys.
OH didn't (apparently) see any problem, he " was only thinking of Charlie".
So, I am going to the cinema at 18:00 with the boys but until them am stuck in a home that is no longer mine, feeling resentful and trapped, which was the reason I went in the first place.
Lesson learned I suppose, have to spell it out that if I have Charlie for the week-end - that means I have him and I decide who with and where he plays.
Last edited: 03 September 2016 13:45:44
Nasty and manipulative DD. Forewarned is forearmed for the future. ((Hugs))
Lots and lots of ((hugs)) DD ... as you said, forewarned is forearmed.
Also, keep a diary (times, dates, arrangements kept and broken) - it may be handy in the future. It's a shame, but best be prepared - these things sometimes get worse before they get better.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Oh, and rant away to us as much as you want - we're very resilient
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Seems you are moving on but the ex is struggling to cope and feels the need to play silly beggars in a sneaky attempt for control.
Maybe make the boys some messy snacks and use as many kitchen utensils as possible and leave the mess piled up in the sink for his return from day out
Last edited: 03 September 2016 14:03:36
Thanks both, been trying to convince myself it was all a innocent misunderstanding, but I know it isn't really. Good advice Dove too, I was hoping things would be smoother now but not a good start to the new arrangements.
Just make things clear that he can only plan things for 'his time' - you may well have planned things for your time, and next time you will not change your plans to fit in with him, unless something has happened over which he has no control.
Smile nicely but start as you mean to go on. ((hugs))
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
DD, Rant away Poppet. x
He wasn't " only thinking about Charlie" it's all about control, on his terms.
He was, as seems to always be the case ,thinking of himself, scoring points and forcing you to do something he must know full well you would not want to do. It was certainly no "innocent misunderstanding"
If it was just for Charlie, why has he swanned off , presumably to do something HE wants to do? Surely he'd have wanted to stay and spend quality time with Charlie?
Excellent advice , as per, from Dove. keep a diary.