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GardenIng jokes

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  • How do you make tomatos go red....talk dirty to them..whoops  lol

  • I'm laughing again-

    Had to re read the thread title.... thought I'd stumbled on rude jokes.

    Fairy.. what is it about you that you only remember the punchline image

     

  • he he you know it makes sense....or do we.....?

  • PeterE17PeterE17 Posts: 129

    Fairygirl: yes! I know that joke now, something like this:

    Camilla and Charles arrive at the Gardener's World Live show to cut the ribbon and open the show. Camilla's hat is decorated with tails and ears. Charles says, "Why that headgear darling?". Camilla replies, 'When I told you we were coming to the NEC you said .... WEAR THE FOX HAT".

    Fidgetbones, don't let the foxes get you down, they don't know any better. Wait until the Mummy badgers scan their babies on the self service tills then run off laughing. That winds me up, that winds me up...

  • waterbuttswaterbutts Posts: 1,239

    Man in the supermarket went up to an assistant and asked if it was possible to buy half a cauliflower. "Er, no sorry sir." The man walks off down the aisle and disappears round the corner.

    The assistant sees a colleague and says to him. "you'll never guess what some silly b.......... just asked me . They wanted to buy half a cauliflower!"

    Just at that moment the customer reappears beside the assistant. 

    "Oh, and this gentleman wants to buy the other half"

  • FairygirlFairygirl Posts: 55,099

    pg- if you think that punchline's bad - I daren't tell you the other one I can remember! It all rhymes and and the last bit is :  'or pluck it' !!!! image

    Peter- That's the one- you've just updated it !! image

    It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....



    I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
  • PeterE17PeterE17 Posts: 129

    Fg, yes, a good joke should be timeless.

    Now the bad news. I won't be able to post much over bthe next few months, I have to look after my brother's business while he is in hospital. It turns out that the Chinese takeaway he picked up last night was not made with onions, instead the cook accidentally used daffodil and narcissus bulbs, which are poisonous. Fortunately brother is conscious again now, but he won't be out until Spring.

  • DaintinessDaintiness Posts: 988

    Thinking of the Edinburgh festival at this time of year - this one was the favourite last year (I think)....

    Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?

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