I was just thinking tonight that until my mum had her last set back about 2 months ago and lost her confidence that we had always, always, done shopping together, seems strange now going on my own, but I cant see her ever going out again, she hasnt even been to look at the garden this year.
My 90 year old dad, however, is taken up with the new pond, he loves it, and goes down there to sit on the chair we put for him
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Lyn that is sad about your mum. I hope she is well enough at some point to go out. Is mum interested in your garden and able to sit with your dad and appreciate your new pond?
Verdun pleased to hear that mum was happy even if confused.
Glad you had a better visit with Mum Verdi. If she's laughing - that's the important thing isn't it. If you can live in her world for that little while and keep her amused that will be huge benefit - to you as well
Couldn't agree with Fishy more. You know you're the better person. And it's obvious you don't do it as a sense of duty - you do it because you care. That's the difference.
Lyn - proof, if it was ever needed, of the benefits of gardens and ponds in particular
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
KEF my mum was a marvelous gardener, I have never seen any hanging baskets to match hers, but she just doesnt want to go outside
ITs quite funny to watch her put something in the recycle bin, she leans out of her conservatory, still with her feet inside, drags the bin to the door, puts the paper in then pushes it back.
My conservatory is next to hers so i can peep.
At the moment she is quite well although turned 86, she will do hers and dads breakfast now, so she is ok inside, but I do the shopping and other meals so I can keep an eye on what she eats.
The last time she was taken into hospital she was completey dehydrated because she hadnt been drinking hardly and not eating properly.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Lyn - I'm so sorry to hear that about your Mum. I'm not sure what happened a couple of months ago,must have missed that but it sounds like she may have developed a phobia of leaving the house. I may be guessing and forgive me if I'm wrong,but having suffered anxiety for many years I know how easily this can happen. Between 1990 and 92 I didn't leave the house at all without alcohol,even now I have to leave the house every day regardless of whether I need to.
Just thinking,if you approach your Mum about it and maybe suggest a drive in the car for a short way. Baby steps each day,then gradually increase it until she feels more confident. Then go shopping while she sits in the car,perhaps the next time she could walk round some shops with you. Hope this helps a little.
Lyn it's very sad, especially when you say your Mum was a keen gardener. Perhaps your Dad's interest in the pond will help, with a bit of time. If he talks about it and all the things happening in it etc, she may one day just decide to go and have a look for herself to see what she's been missing. That would be lovely
Fishy - my heart goes out to you. I know you're your wife's carer and that's very hard to deal with. I hope the pond and all the banter we've all had about it together helps you. It really seemed to lift you a great deal when you got started with it. Long may it continue. Wildlife watching should be available on the NHS don't you think?
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Posts
No worries mate
Verdun - are you sure you and he have the same father? He reminds me of my step 'son'.
I was just thinking tonight that until my mum had her last set back about 2 months ago and lost her confidence that we had always, always, done shopping together, seems strange now going on my own, but I cant see her ever going out again, she hasnt even been to look at the garden this year.
My 90 year old dad, however, is taken up with the new pond, he loves it, and goes down there to sit on the chair we put for him
Lyn that is sad about your mum. I hope she is well enough at some point to go out. Is mum interested in your garden and able to sit with your dad and appreciate your new pond?
Verdun pleased to hear that mum was happy even if confused.
Glad you had a better visit with Mum Verdi. If she's laughing - that's the important thing isn't it. If you can live in her world for that little while and keep her amused that will be huge benefit - to you as well
Couldn't agree with Fishy more. You know you're the better person. And it's obvious you don't do it as a sense of duty - you do it because you care. That's the difference.
Lyn - proof, if it was ever needed, of the benefits of gardens and ponds in particular
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
KEF my mum was a marvelous gardener, I have never seen any hanging baskets to match hers, but she just doesnt want to go outside
ITs quite funny to watch her put something in the recycle bin, she leans out of her conservatory, still with her feet inside, drags the bin to the door, puts the paper in then pushes it back.
My conservatory is next to hers so i can peep.
At the moment she is quite well although turned 86, she will do hers and dads breakfast now, so she is ok inside, but I do the shopping and other meals so I can keep an eye on what she eats.
The last time she was taken into hospital she was completey dehydrated because she hadnt been drinking hardly and not eating properly.
Lyn - I'm so sorry to hear that about your Mum. I'm not sure what happened a couple of months ago,must have missed that but it sounds like she may have developed a phobia of leaving the house. I may be guessing and forgive me if I'm wrong,but having suffered anxiety for many years I know how easily this can happen. Between 1990 and 92 I didn't leave the house at all without alcohol,even now I have to leave the house every day regardless of whether I need to.
Just thinking,if you approach your Mum about it and maybe suggest a drive in the car for a short way. Baby steps each day,then gradually increase it until she feels more confident. Then go shopping while she sits in the car,perhaps the next time she could walk round some shops with you. Hope this helps a little.
Lyn it's very sad, especially when you say your Mum was a keen gardener. Perhaps your Dad's interest in the pond will help, with a bit of time. If he talks about it and all the things happening in it etc, she may one day just decide to go and have a look for herself to see what she's been missing. That would be lovely
Fishy - my heart goes out to you. I know you're your wife's carer and that's very hard to deal with. I hope the pond and all the banter we've all had about it together helps you. It really seemed to lift you a great deal when you got started with it. Long may it continue. Wildlife watching should be available on the NHS don't you think?
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...