@punkdoc is there no one else who could give him the information he wants? Friends or former colleagues of your father? While I believe that everyone should be able 'know' their parents if at all possible ... as you say your mother is elderly and possibly not aware of his existence. If she didn't know it could break her heart.
I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to say 'No ... I've told you all I can ... leave my mother out of this' and make sure that he understands that No means No. While you're willing to do what you can, a lot of it must be down to how much of yourself and your time and energy you feel you can give to this ... you have your own concerns and stuff to deal with
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
My mum has been waiting almost three years for her cataracts to be done. Only now has she been put on the waiting list. Cataracts in her NHS area are deemed to not be a problem until she falls over things she can't see. Up to now, they have said she can see well enough and they "have to ripen". Cobblers as we all know. It is not like a hip operation, that may need to be repeated after 15 years. Once they are done, that is it. I wanted her to get them done privately, but as she says, she has paid in to the system all her life. Why should she pay again? We will see what the waiting list length is. I'm not holding my breath.
@punkdoc I would say absolutely not as well, suggest he looks on the internet for info as the rest of us do when we need to trace our family tree. I wouldn’t have had my mum upset by that. She may have know, but I wouldn’t take that chance.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Internet and phone were supposed to be installed in the new Norfolk cottage on the 13th, but they weren't. Was done on the 24th, after we had left Norfolk. Something about BT not wanting to release the line to Vodafone.
When you have just moved house and need to arrange things like deliveries, furniture, carpets, water meter installation, electricity etc it is really really inconvenient not having a phone. No signal for mobiles either. How did we manage without Internet before? Cottage is very near the Suffolk/Norfolk border but we were only given a Norfolk phone book. Needed to know Suffolk numbers too so we could go off in the car to find a mobile phone signal to ring people.
I've painted the walls of the sitting room and the bedroom white. Bedroom was dark green, very gloomy. OH has done lots of clearance in the garden and driveway, meant lots of visits to the re-cycling centre.
I was really enjoying being there, bigger than last cottage, bigger kitchen and there is a proper garden. On next visit I'll make curtains for the dining room, fabric ordered, and plan what to do with the kitchen, which needs more cupboards and some rickety old cupboards on the wall replaced.
We spent last weekend with OH's daughter and family in Eastbourne and I saw my sister too as she's not far from there. Then back to France on Monday but stayed with my daughter near Poitiers until yesterday. I was babysitting as daughter was on a course. Her sons to meet from school and take to football, tennis etc. and feed.
The 2 viewings for this French house while we were away didn't happen. Should be another in October. All people from abroad, the French rarely move unless it's to somewhere small and modern on the edge of town.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
I was just wondering how you're doing this morning Busy. Glad you're home safe if frustrated. There's a big old house round the corner from here that has been bought by people from Lyons, seeking warmer winters. Lots of work being done on it. There's also a French family who live and work in Brussels but come to their home here for hols. Friends of mine in Verteuil have sold their home with 2 gite cottages to another English lady.
I take it your house is on the 'net. Once it's sold will you move to the new cottage or buy something smaller and easier to be near all the children and grandkids?
OK. Shorts, strappy top and potting time in th esun. Have to make the most of what's left of the warm stuff.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
Afties all. I'm officially on holiday now Good to 'see' you BL. It's a lot of work getting houses ready to sell, isn't it? It's a while since I've done it, and I'll to do it again at some point, which I don't like thinking about. doc - you know your mum. I think you have to trust your own judgement. I've equated it to someone I know, and how hurtful it could all be, but I feel it's largely dependant on the character of the individuals. I think the others are making a good point though - tell him she knows nothing, and to ask others, or check the t'interweb. You won't cause any offence that way, and if your mum did know anything, you're avoiding dredging up something which could be very painful for her. Trying to add daughter onto car insurance so I can take her out. Hilarious. My own insurance policy would have to be changed to a new one, and they could only offer one company prepared to do it. New policy - 2, 030 quid. The girl was very good though, and suggested looking at Learner Driver Insurance online, and seeing what I could get that way. Now done, although not without problems, and I can take her out on Monday. 150 quid until Christmas, and then we can take it from there, if she needs more time. I found some other new policies which I could change to [which weren't 2 grand but this was an easier route.
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Evening. The Macmillan cake sale went really well in work - we have extended it until tomorrow to include the weekend workers too. I did apple cupcakes - with my own apples, of course! You were talking about Tony Robinson earlier - every time my OH sees something with him in, he always says “I have his autograph”... I have never asked about the details to be honest! Punkdoc - it is always ok to say no. She is your Mum.
Posts
I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to say 'No ... I've told you all I can ... leave my mother out of this' and make sure that he understands that No means No. While you're willing to do what you can, a lot of it must be down to how much of yourself and your time and energy you feel you can give to this ... you have your own concerns and stuff to deal with
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Hello everyone.
We are now back in French home.
Internet and phone were supposed to be installed in the new Norfolk cottage on the 13th, but they weren't. Was done on the 24th, after we had left Norfolk. Something about BT not wanting to release the line to Vodafone.
When you have just moved house and need to arrange things like deliveries, furniture, carpets, water meter installation, electricity etc it is really really inconvenient not having a phone. No signal for mobiles either. How did we manage without Internet before? Cottage is very near the Suffolk/Norfolk border but we were only given a Norfolk phone book. Needed to know Suffolk numbers too so we could go off in the car to find a mobile phone signal to ring people.
I've painted the walls of the sitting room and the bedroom white. Bedroom was dark green, very gloomy. OH has done lots of clearance in the garden and driveway, meant lots of visits to the re-cycling centre.
I was really enjoying being there, bigger than last cottage, bigger kitchen and there is a proper garden. On next visit I'll make curtains for the dining room, fabric ordered, and plan what to do with the kitchen, which needs more cupboards and some rickety old cupboards on the wall replaced.
We spent last weekend with OH's daughter and family in Eastbourne and I saw my sister too as she's not far from there. Then back to France on Monday but stayed with my daughter near Poitiers until yesterday. I was babysitting as daughter was on a course. Her sons to meet from school and take to football, tennis etc. and feed.
The 2 viewings for this French house while we were away didn't happen. Should be another in October. All people from abroad, the French rarely move unless it's to somewhere small and modern on the edge of town.
I take it your house is on the 'net. Once it's sold will you move to the new cottage or buy something smaller and easier to be near all the children and grandkids?
OK. Shorts, strappy top and potting time in th esun. Have to make the most of what's left of the warm stuff.
If you're on the edge of two phone areas you should be able to request two phone books FOC ... I did when we lived in a similar area
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Good to 'see' you BL. It's a lot of work getting houses ready to sell, isn't it? It's a while since I've done it, and I'll to do it again at some point, which I don't like thinking about.
doc - you know your mum. I think you have to trust your own judgement. I've equated it to someone I know, and how hurtful it could all be, but I feel it's largely dependant on the character of the individuals. I think the others are making a good point though - tell him she knows nothing, and to ask others, or check the t'interweb. You won't cause any offence that way, and if your mum did know anything, you're avoiding dredging up something which could be very painful for her.
Trying to add daughter onto car insurance so I can take her out. Hilarious. My own insurance policy would have to be changed to a new one, and they could only offer one company prepared to do it. New policy - 2, 030 quid.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
The house is on the Net. I will buy a much smaller easier house in France as a base to visit family and spend more time in Norfolk.
Some of the Norfolk weather was lovely, Dove, but the weather in Eastbourne was awful.
The Macmillan cake sale went really well in work - we have extended it until tomorrow to include the weekend workers too. I did apple cupcakes - with my own apples, of course!
You were talking about Tony Robinson earlier - every time my OH sees something with him in, he always says “I have his autograph”... I have never asked about the details to be honest!
Punkdoc - it is always ok to say no. She is your Mum.
Have a good weekend all - catch you when I can.