Dove; I'm planning on moving my team to an open plan office (mostly to save on costs of running the "hub" = more money for doing what beeds to be done). Maybe I will need to introduce some ground rules before we move in.
Punkdoc; I think a male perspective is needed. A man's mind is something I have never entirely understood and my parents are very much the woman stays at home as a domestic / chief / child carer and the husband provides in terms of the house and money. My brother was always treated differently because he was male (even though I had to do the manly things like catching birds the cat had brought in because he wasn't the biggest whimp going). All very pre 190s type "ideal" of family bliss so not the most normal of upbringings.
I don't want to be a boss. I just want to be a team! I'm not expecting him to be meek and do as he's told (haven't even gotten the dog to do that) but to be a bit more on equal footing.
I will admit openly, that as a young man I did as little as humanly possible towards any domestic tasks.
Most of the time this did not matter, as I was single and living alone. I much preferred visiting ladies houses, as they were far better looked after than mine.
By the time I got married for the second time [ first wife and I did not split because of domestic reasons; she was a b###h. ] I began to appreciate the necessity of sharing in all things, OH worked nearly as long hours as I did.
I would not try to pretend that chores are split evenly, even though she works and I don't.
As Dove says I now really enjoy many of the tasks I do perform, such as most of the cooking and the SM shopping.
We do need strong hints though. There are still many times when OH has to remind me, in less than subtle tones, that she is busy, could I possibly pull my finger out and help.
Dove, we are well aware that you try to make us think that we come up with certain ideas, when we know it was actually your idea in the first place. Doing things that way probably means everyone is kept happy.
How can you lie there and think of England When you don't even know who's in the team
I haven't had a chance to read anything for a few hours. I've somehow managed to get a good dose of MSG from somewhere. I've had Telfast andvPanadol, but still in a lot of pain with swollen joints. Catch you in my morning, all being well.
Punkdoc, .. I think you have it sussed out very well, it's amazing what a second time around does for you, man and woman, you learn a lot more tolerance, don't want to go through separation again, you learn what really matters and what doesn't.
men and women's mind are completely different, they are not mind readers, whereas women are?
You have to ask them what you want done, don't expect them to instinctively know, they don't.
If you are thrashing around, struggling to do something, they are reluctant to step in and do it for you for fear of patronising, I think men get a bad deal these days, they knew where they were when the wife stayed at home, kept house and looked after the children. They are not so sure of their roles in life these days.
girls, feel free to step in and beat me with a stick?????
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
I haven't had a chance to read anything for a few hours. I've somehow managed to get a good dose of MSG from somewhere. I've had Telfast andvPanadol, but still in a lot of pain with swollen joints. Catch you in my morning, all being well.
Lyn ... there's a lot of truth in what you say. I chose well second time around ... a chap from a younger generation where expectations are different ... the youngest child with older sisters, a mum who worked out of the house and a dad who worked from home ... we met at art school where we were on an equal footing and he's always said that he was brought up with the notion that if something needs doing you should do it yourself ...
Pat ....... as Clari says, flush it through and try to sleep it off ((hugs))
Last edited: 17 July 2017 15:33:47
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Posts
One burst ear drum.
Dove; I'm planning on moving my team to an open plan office (mostly to save on costs of running the "hub" = more money for doing what beeds to be done). Maybe I will need to introduce some ground rules before we move in.
Only 1 rule needed Clari.
YOU ARE THE BOSS.
Sorry if you thought I was sticking my oar in last night, was just trying to put a male perspective.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
Punkdoc; I think a male perspective is needed. A man's mind is something I have never entirely understood and my parents are very much the woman stays at home as a domestic / chief / child carer and the husband provides in terms of the house and money. My brother was always treated differently because he was male (even though I had to do the manly things like catching birds the cat had brought in because he wasn't the biggest whimp going). All very pre 190s type "ideal" of family bliss so not the most normal of upbringings.
I don't want to be a boss. I just want to be a team! I'm not expecting him to be meek and do as he's told (haven't even gotten the dog to do that) but to be a bit more on equal footing.
The trick is to get them enjoying sharing the tasks, then they think it was their idea
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Clari
Most of us men don't truly know our own minds.
I will admit openly, that as a young man I did as little as humanly possible towards any domestic tasks.
Most of the time this did not matter, as I was single and living alone. I much preferred visiting ladies houses, as they were far better looked after than mine.
By the time I got married for the second time [ first wife and I did not split because of domestic reasons; she was a b###h. ] I began to appreciate the necessity of sharing in all things, OH worked nearly as long hours as I did.
I would not try to pretend that chores are split evenly, even though she works and I don't.
As Dove says I now really enjoy many of the tasks I do perform, such as most of the cooking and the SM shopping.
We do need strong hints though. There are still many times when OH has to remind me, in less than subtle tones, that she is busy, could I possibly pull my finger out and help.
Dove, we are well aware that you try to make us think that we come up with certain ideas, when we know it was actually your idea in the first place. Doing things that way probably means everyone is kept happy.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
I haven't had a chance to read anything for a few hours. I've somehow managed to get a good dose of MSG from somewhere.
I've had Telfast andvPanadol, but still in a lot of pain with swollen joints. Catch you in my morning, all being well.
Punkdoc, .. I think you have it sussed out very well, it's amazing what a second time around does for you, man and woman, you learn a lot more tolerance, don't want to go through separation again, you learn what really matters and what doesn't.
men and women's mind are completely different, they are not mind readers, whereas women are?
You have to ask them what you want done, don't expect them to instinctively know, they don't.
If you are thrashing around, struggling to do something, they are reluctant to step in and do it for you for fear of patronising, I think men get a bad deal these days, they knew where they were when the wife stayed at home, kept house and looked after the children. They are not so sure of their roles in life these days.
girls, feel free to step in and beat me with a stick?????
Love it............ the mind reading, sadly, probably true.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
Oh bum! Drink plenty of fluids and hopefully it'll be out of your system soon. Do you think you know where you got caught out?
Lyn ... there's a lot of truth in what you say. I chose well second time around ... a chap from a younger generation where expectations are different ... the youngest child with older sisters, a mum who worked out of the house and a dad who worked from home ... we met at art school where we were on an equal footing and he's always said that he was brought up with the notion that if something needs doing you should do it yourself ...
Pat ....... as Clari says, flush it through and try to sleep it off ((hugs))
Last edited: 17 July 2017 15:33:47
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.