DD I was just about to post when I saw your post and it's great news.
I was in almost exactly the same situation with my control freak ex husband back in the early 1990's
Sure everything was "just fine" as long as I did exactly as I was told and of course the situation became untenable as relationships like this tend to lapse into violence eventually.
Unfortunately it didn't go well and developed into a 5 year battle of refusing to give me a divorce and trying to win custody of my son using dirty tricks, stalking, telling my colleagues I was a drug addict which I was not losing me my job and waiting for me outside work and my son's school shouting at us.
I got injunctions which the police did not enforce and life was an utter misery for 5 years. Eventually I won and got full custody of my son. My ex then went abroad to avoid paying any child support so I had to work full time.
However, I DO NOT REGRET one single day of the fight as my freedom is more important to me than being controlled for the rest of my life. You will not regret it either whatever happens.
Like you entry into the ERM (rather than out) (remember Black Wednesday) meant mortgage interest rates suddenly went up to 15% and as I had just bought a house this was terrible news as we had literally no money and I had to do night shifts at the weekends as well as a full time job to survive.
But we got through it all and so will you. If at all possible keep it civil and keep it cheap but do not give up any of your rights and make sure you get a fair and decent settlement that you do not regret later on.
You will survive it all and you will be much happier out of this relationship.
Some years on I have a lovely house in Sussex and have been married to my 2nd husband for 15 years and he is wonderful so it can and will end well if you can just get over this hump.
So pleased to hear that you have such a good plan in place DD
The house sounds as if it is in the perfect location where you and Charlie will be able to keep and develop the friendships and support networks you have built over the last few years. Also nice that you already have some little jobs to provide a small income while you make your business plans.
If you can keep it civil (even friendly) between you and OH it will be so much easier.
Do you think OH will also stay in the area? That would be nice for Charlie wouldn't it?
Very, very best wishes to you all. Hope to come and enjoy a slice of cake when you're up and running
Heaven is ... sitting in the garden with a G&T and a cat while watching the sun go down
Posts
DD I was just about to post when I saw your post and it's great news.
I was in almost exactly the same situation with my control freak ex husband back in the early 1990's
Sure everything was "just fine" as long as I did exactly as I was told and of course the situation became untenable as relationships like this tend to lapse into violence eventually.
Unfortunately it didn't go well and developed into a 5 year battle of refusing to give me a divorce and trying to win custody of my son using dirty tricks, stalking, telling my colleagues I was a drug addict which I was not losing me my job and waiting for me outside work and my son's school shouting at us.
I got injunctions which the police did not enforce and life was an utter misery for 5 years. Eventually I won and got full custody of my son. My ex then went abroad to avoid paying any child support so I had to work full time.
However, I DO NOT REGRET one single day of the fight as my freedom is more important to me than being controlled for the rest of my life. You will not regret it either whatever happens.
Like you entry into the ERM (rather than out) (remember Black Wednesday) meant mortgage interest rates suddenly went up to 15% and as I had just bought a house this was terrible news as we had literally no money and I had to do night shifts at the weekends as well as a full time job to survive.
But we got through it all and so will you. If at all possible keep it civil and keep it cheap but do not give up any of your rights and make sure you get a fair and decent settlement that you do not regret later on.
You will survive it all and you will be much happier out of this relationship.
Some years on I have a lovely house in Sussex and have been married to my 2nd husband for 15 years and he is wonderful so it can and will end well if you can just get over this hump.
SGONES!
So pleased to hear that you have such a good plan in place DD
The house sounds as if it is in the perfect location where you and Charlie will be able to keep and develop the friendships and support networks you have built over the last few years. Also nice that you already have some little jobs to provide a small income while you make your business plans.
If you can keep it civil (even friendly) between you and OH it will be so much easier.
Do you think OH will also stay in the area? That would be nice for Charlie wouldn't it?
Very, very best wishes to you all. Hope to come and enjoy a slice of cake when you're up and running
Woo Hoo! Road trip! Top idea Topbird!
pansyface - toodle oo tea. Brilliant ! You need a whole 'loved you and left you' menu DD!
Lou - my sympathies. Similar story for me, though not with ex husband but recent partner. So glad you got there in the end. So many still suffer.
Now what about a song girls - it's a cliche I know, but.... # I will survive....oh as long as I know how to love ....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Good news and good luck to you-I hope it all works out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drGx7JkFSp4
Don't sing! Try it!
Good one pp!
Or my personal favourite - Elton's # I'm still standing, better than I ever did....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I love that one too FG. I recorded it on my phone when he was in Belfast. It sounds awful but I know what he's singing!