Thanks all, Obelixx some very useful contacts there. The problem I have at the moment is he has gone into absolute denial mode. Obviously I am trying to 'keep up appearances' for Charlie's sake and visitors to the house, like the gardening club visit (pre-arranged months ago) today and B&B guests, but this afternoon he was chatting to them about new kitchen plans, new garden plans and sharing 'demanding' wives jokes with one of the husband's, totally inappropriate at the best of times but unbelievable given the circumstances.
I just went up to bed early with Charlie. Problem is, now I can't sleep.
Tomorrow, I fear I will have to have the whole difficult conversation again because he obviously thinks I am being a silly woman and will get over it. This in itself has been part of the problem, he lives in his own cocoon of a world and just doesn't grasp ' normal' , appropriate or acceptable behaviour.
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
Posting from tiny phone so apologies for limited text, am very touched by all the support on here. Thank you all, I don't think that the next few weeks/ months are going to be easy. He can be a real bully and I am worried he will try and bully/ control the situation into making me stay by one means or another. It won't happen and him kidding himself I just had a silly moment and not thinking it possible I could even consider life without him doesn't make it happen. Sorry, waffling again, just been tricky today not being able to talk honestly about the situation with anyone. Must try and get some sleep. Thanks again and sorry for rambling on. ?
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
If only you could just walk away from the situation DD but that's impossible. You are having to deal with things on various fronts which is emotionally draining. . . the bullying, Charlie, the B & B and the practicalities of leaving. Do you have a trusted family member or friend who could stay with you even for a few days to give you emotional support? Stay strong (hugs).
DD - have you had or can you get relationship or couples counselling? He needs to be made to see that bullying is neither grown up behaviour nor rational nor acceptable nor a good role model for his son.
once it dawns on him you are serious you should be able to move onto the next step Please take care of yourself, the strain must be ghastly If I remember correctly your OH works over on the UK a lot? Maybe the next time he is away you could pack up his things?
Stay strong, love and hugs how is Charlie doing?
Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.” A A Milne
DD I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. A very difficult time for you to try to keep things on an even keel for Charlie and deal with the B&B etc. Stick to your guns, something has to change, and you will have a much happier future. Thinking of you xx.
DD - I know only too well what it feels like to live with a bully, but for me, it was worth every penny to leave for the sake of my health and sanity, and for my two girls. Your head will take over from your heart as time goes on, and the reality of all the practical stuff will kick in. I wish you all the luck and love in the world.
As obelixx said earlier, get the best advice you can as French law will be different - just as Scottish law is different from English. Having Charlie should make it easier for you to get help more quickly. xxx
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Posts
Thanks all, Obelixx some very useful contacts there. The problem I have at the moment is he has gone into absolute denial mode. Obviously I am trying to 'keep up appearances' for Charlie's sake and visitors to the house, like the gardening club visit (pre-arranged months ago) today and B&B guests, but this afternoon he was chatting to them about new kitchen plans, new garden plans and sharing 'demanding' wives jokes with one of the husband's, totally inappropriate at the best of times but unbelievable given the circumstances.
I just went up to bed early with Charlie. Problem is, now I can't sleep.
Tomorrow, I fear I will have to have the whole difficult conversation again because he obviously thinks I am being a silly woman and will get over it. This in itself has been part of the problem, he lives in his own cocoon of a world and just doesn't grasp ' normal' , appropriate or acceptable behaviour.
Posting from tiny phone so apologies for limited text, am very touched by all the support on here. Thank you all, I don't think that the next few weeks/ months are going to be easy. He can be a real bully and I am worried he will try and bully/ control the situation into making me stay by one means or another. It won't happen and him kidding himself I just had a silly moment and not thinking it possible I could even consider life without him doesn't make it happen. Sorry, waffling again, just been tricky today not being able to talk honestly about the situation with anyone. Must try and get some sleep. Thanks again and sorry for rambling on. ?
If only you could just walk away from the situation DD but that's impossible. You are having to deal with things on various fronts which is emotionally draining. . . the bullying, Charlie, the B & B and the practicalities of leaving. Do you have a trusted family member or friend who could stay with you even for a few days to give you emotional support? Stay strong (hugs).
Thinking of you and sending positive vibes ((hugs)).
Feel free to ramble/rant on here as much as you like - lots of shoulders here to cry/lean on ((hugs))
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
DD - have you had or can you get relationship or couples counselling? He needs to be made to see that bullying is neither grown up behaviour nor rational nor acceptable nor a good role model for his son.
This link may be of help - http://www.livestrong.com/article/225876-how-to-stop-a-bullying-husband/
Oh DD. What an arse he is. If I could I'd march right up there any slap him in the chops with a pipe wrench.
I hope today is a good day for you.
DD. This is probably the hardest time for you
once it dawns on him you are serious you should be able to move onto the next step Please take care of yourself, the strain must be ghastly If I remember correctly your OH works over on the UK a lot? Maybe the next time he is away you could pack up his things?
Stay strong, love and hugs how is Charlie doing?
A A Milne
DD I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. A very difficult time for you to try to keep things on an even keel for Charlie and deal with the B&B etc. Stick to your guns, something has to change, and you will have a much happier future. Thinking of you xx.
DD - I know only too well what it feels like to live with a bully, but for me, it was worth every penny to leave for the sake of my health and sanity, and for my two girls. Your head will take over from your heart as time goes on, and the reality of all the practical stuff will kick in. I wish you all the luck and love in the world.
As obelixx said earlier, get the best advice you can as French law will be different - just as Scottish law is different from English. Having Charlie should make it easier for you to get help more quickly. xxx
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
As tempting as Clari's advice is....
Keep strong and feel free to let of steam in here as often as you want.
x