Evolution is a wonderful thing, what is more amazing to me and wonderous is that every part of us was born inside a dying star. Now that's amazing. Eventually that is where we will all return to.
As gardeners we see a practical version of evolution every day. Man made plant breeding is just like evolution but with different forces affecting the outcome.
This makes me feel a bit better about not visiting my Mum's headstone as much as I should. Her ashes are buried there, but I fail to see what tending a lump of stone has to do with her memory. That resides in me and not in a lonely cemetery.
I'm with Steve on evolution Verdun , sorry. Evolution just means "change"
Example, if you have a dandelion in your lawn , it'll grow to about an inch tall then flower, if you stop mowing your lawn, it'll grow almost a foot before flowering if it need to compete for sun. That's change.
Just needed to say Thank You to the posters on this thread.
I lost my dad just under ten years ago, I have been made to feel guilty because we don't take my mum to his grave or make it a ritual to visit ourselves.
She sees it that we do our best for them when they are with us and its only right and respectful that it continues when they leave us. Thus by tending to the grave, taking up flowers etc . My mum I feel sees it a duty, she's been to the grave , her bit done sort of thing ,, she doesn't show it openly that it affects her .where me it really does upset me .I get no comfort from going and I literally relive his last few hours alive as like Lyn and lots of others on here , I was the one who did everything for my dad when he was ill and I knew he was dying . kept it together but broke down after the funeral was over and have done ever since , through guilt but not being able to explain myself.
his illness due to the asbestos lined boilers which was part of his job had to be cleaned the dangers were not openly known in those days . British Nylon Spinners didn't even provide a mask .. but they must have known something as dad was given a pint of milk to drink at the end of his shift. But like me , he didn't drink milk. So........the asbestos resulted in asbestosis.lung cancer though he had never smoked or even drank.he'd never even been seriously ill .
So I ,when I must go to the grave I start trembling inside soon as we pull up. I can't stop the tears , and it takes me at ages to get over it. I'm dreading Absolutely everything when it's my mum's turn.
.you may say ......what has this to do with this thread so I will say now ,probably nothing. But reading some of these posts has helped me tremendously to put my thoughts in order and to give myself some sort of explanation.for as up to now I had like a mental block and couldn't explain myself .
So again Thank you. Specially to Steve the gardening vet , for his quote
Sorry to go on ,but writing this down has helped,even though my eyes are streaming.
Hiya Steve and welcome back. You've been missed by many.
I mentioned on a thread, another one I think that OH was left money by an old lady he once worked for years ago, anyway. Her " congregation" contacted the solicitor and told them they expected a headstone on her grave. She's been in a care home for 15 years and not one person from the " congregation" ever visited her. They leave absolutely no family behind : who exactly is going to visit / tend this grave? Nobody.
The solicitor has had to hold back £10,000 to cover the cost. !!!!! 10 THOUSAND POUNDS???????.
I'm sure the stone mason will be thrilled .
If you know anyone involved be nice if you could mention us!! We go to your area quite at bit
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Posts
Evolution is a wonderful thing, what is more amazing to me and wonderous is that every part of us was born inside a dying star. Now that's amazing. Eventually that is where we will all return to.
As gardeners we see a practical version of evolution every day. Man made plant breeding is just like evolution but with different forces affecting the outcome.
not sure WE personally are heading for a star, but I take your point
I reckon I've got a while to go yet.
This makes me feel a bit better about not visiting my Mum's headstone as much as I should. Her ashes are buried there, but I fail to see what tending a lump of stone has to do with her memory. That resides in me and not in a lonely cemetery.
As I said, I am an atheist but to make my clients feel better I always remind them of something I once read about native american beliefs.
'Nothing is truly gone as long as someone remembers...'
I'm with Steve on evolution Verdun , sorry. Evolution just means "change"
Example, if you have a dandelion in your lawn , it'll grow to about an inch tall then flower, if you stop mowing your lawn, it'll grow almost a foot before flowering if it need to compete for sun. That's change.
Great quote Steve
Yes Steve, that's a really lovely quote.
Just needed to say Thank You to the posters on this thread.
I lost my dad just under ten years ago, I have been made to feel guilty because we don't take my mum to his grave or make it a ritual to visit ourselves.
She sees it that we do our best for them when they are with us and its only right and respectful that it continues when they leave us. Thus by tending to the grave, taking up flowers etc . My mum I feel sees it a duty, she's been to the grave , her bit done sort of thing ,, she doesn't show it openly that it affects her .where me it really does upset me .I get no comfort from going and I literally relive his last few hours alive as like Lyn and lots of others on here , I was the one who did everything for my dad when he was ill and I knew he was dying . kept it together but broke down after the funeral was over and have done ever since , through guilt but not being able to explain myself.
his illness due to the asbestos lined boilers which was part of his job had to be cleaned the dangers were not openly known in those days . British Nylon Spinners didn't even provide a mask .. but they must have known something as dad was given a pint of milk to drink at the end of his shift. But like me , he didn't drink milk. So........the asbestos resulted in asbestosis.lung cancer though he had never smoked or even drank.he'd never even been seriously ill .
So I ,when I must go to the grave I start trembling inside soon as we pull up. I can't stop the tears , and it takes me at ages to get over it. I'm dreading Absolutely everything when it's my mum's turn.
.you may say ......what has this to do with this thread so I will say now ,probably nothing. But reading some of these posts has helped me tremendously to put my thoughts in order and to give myself some sort of explanation.for as up to now I had like a mental block and couldn't explain myself .
So again Thank you. Specially to Steve the gardening vet , for his quote
Sorry to go on ,but writing this down has helped,even though my eyes are streaming.
Gran x
If you know anyone involved be nice if you could mention us!! We go to your area quite at bit