For me, it was a way of not burdening my loved ones with choices. For me " the last thing you can do for your loved ones" is to give them the send off they wanted .
I did suggest Fancy Dress: but this was vetoed.
Death is such a minefield . I've been to more funerals than I ever wanted to and the best , if that's the right word, have been those which celebrated the life of the deceased, and the future of those left behind.
I totally respect that others will feel very, very differently.
I have asked mum what she would like and she really didn't mind talking about it. I just explained that I wanted to make sure that we fulfilled all her wishes.
I have made it plain what type of send off I want to my children. A no fuss cremation. Ashes in garden of rememberance and definitely no headstone or comemorative plaque etc. I'm not religous so no church service or hymns etc. I'm happy for my children to choose the music as they share my musical tastes. I would hate for others to make those decisions for me. It's funny how we are all difference when it comes to things like this.
I wrote on the wrong thread similar wishes to Yvie
Re graves, I think they will become a thing of the past as people's lives become increasingly secular and society turns global. No offence intended, just my opinion
My first OH is buried in the village graveyard. He said he wanted me next to him so I bought a double plot. I was 47 then, but he is the father of my children. 2nd OH will have his ashes scattered in the Woodland Trust wood where his first wife is. Our children from our first marriages know.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
When my ex's parents died he bought a large family plot - even tho' I left 20+ years ago (phew!) and he's re-married he says he's keeping a space for me so he can have a wife each side of him (and he's not joking!!!) Never going to happen - OH and my children know they can scatter me anywhere there will be hazel catkins and snowdrops in the spring
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
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I've "planned" mine. " As cheap as possible, no mention of religion and they MUST , at some point play Dancing Queen by Abba.
For me, it was a way of not burdening my loved ones with choices. For me " the last thing you can do for your loved ones" is to give them the send off they wanted .
I did suggest Fancy Dress: but this was vetoed.
Death is such a minefield . I've been to more funerals than I ever wanted to and the best , if that's the right word, have been those which celebrated the life of the deceased, and the future of those left behind.
I totally respect that others will feel very, very differently.
I have asked mum what she would like and she really didn't mind talking about it. I just explained that I wanted to make sure that we fulfilled all her wishes.
I have made it plain what type of send off I want to my children. A no fuss cremation. Ashes in garden of rememberance and definitely no headstone or comemorative plaque etc. I'm not religous so no church service or hymns etc. I'm happy for my children to choose the music as they share my musical tastes. I would hate for others to make those decisions for me. It's funny how we are all difference when it comes to things like this.
OH's parents both died in the last 10 years and I took a complete back seat.
He and his sister argued and argued over both funerals and neither got what they wanted, so neither is happy about what was done.
Now we've moved 200 miles away OH never gets to visit the "grave" and feels guilty.
I wrote on the wrong thread similar wishes to Yvie
Re graves, I think they will become a thing of the past as people's lives become increasingly secular and society turns global. No offence intended, just my opinion
My first OH is buried in the village graveyard. He said he wanted me next to him so I bought a double plot. I was 47 then, but he is the father of my children. 2nd OH will have his ashes scattered in the Woodland Trust wood where his first wife is. Our children from our first marriages know.
Edd,that was the problem. they'd never told anyone.
His Mother had dementia so couldn't tell anyone what she wanted. and his Dad just said " I'll leave it up to you two " A bit of a cop out IMHO.
When my ex's parents died he bought a large family plot - even tho' I left 20+ years ago (phew!) and he's re-married he says he's keeping a space for me so he can have a wife each side of him
(and he's not joking!!!) Never going to happen - OH and my children know they can scatter me anywhere there will be hazel catkins and snowdrops in the spring 
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
ew Dove, is it just me who thinks that's kinda weird and a wee bit creepy.
Just a bit self-obsessed Hosta - why do you think I left
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.