Lyn that is so sad that mum can't face going outside to see the things she loves. Mine is the same age and doesn't want to come to my house because my garden is better kept than hers. We do all we can with hers but aren't bionic. We used to have so many happy trips to GC's but now too frail and has no interest.
Fishy you are brave to tell us that & I send you my admiration for sorting yourself out & a hug of course
Old age really has nothing to recommend it when health and mobility fails.
I hope your Mum recovers some of her confidence Lyn and can venture out again. You must feel a bit lost when doing the shopping without her after all the times you went together.
Well done Fishy. Can't have been easy.
KEF - it's a shame when a well loved garden starts to look a bit rough round the edges and your Mum obviously thinks hers should still be as good as it was without thinking of the effort you have to put in. You know you are doing the best you can.
My Dad found a new hobby when we gave him our old computer fifteen years or so ago so he is still able to enjoy that even while he is pretty immobile. Hi Dad if you're looking in
Fairygirl,Verdun and KEF - thank you for your kind words. I used alcohol to cover the anxiety,to try to feel 'normal' around people. The problem with alcohol though is that its ultimately a depressant and actively hinders problem solving. When I met Mrs F I was getting drunk regularly,the alcohol became my life. But after a few months she gave me an ultimatum,the drink or her. So I said I'd go down the pub to think about it
No seriously,I chose her and now I have a drink at Christmas and that's about it. The anxiety is still there and I have my bad days with it,but I take prescribed medication now. But yes gardening really should be prescribed on the NHS. Its at once relaxing and very rewarding and an addiction to plants is the nearest thing to a healthy addiction that I can think of. That and big bars of Cadbury's Dairy Milk
Fairygirl - I love the banter on here and makes me feel part of a gardening family
Fishy - I understand about that addiction. I've been on the receiving end of it. You've done the right thing - believe me - for yourself and all the people who are important to you. I hope you and Mrs F have a good and happy life for many years to come. x
The forum is full of damn fine people. They have problems of their own, yet take the time to think of and support others who are going through hard times. They'll never know just how much they've helped me and I thank them all.
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I have never experienced what you are all going through with elderly parents, but all of you are showing such kindness towards people who are frustratingly and sadly ceasing to be the parents that you knew and loved. It is very moving to read your posts.
Thank you everybody for all the kind words, I hope my mum will continue to gain strength, physical and mentally to come out. Its not like she has agrophobia,(is that the right word?) Maybe she is just not really strong enough for the outdide world. She knows her own body, not that she did when she stopped eating and drinking!
I will continue to do all I can for both of them for as long as I can, and feel thankfull that we built this extension on their bungalow so I am right next door.
They took such great care of me, mum was only 18 when I was born, dad 22, they had no money but I never went without anything, not always new, but who cares about that.
I didnt say about mum before, someone else was going on about illness, it didnt seem right.
Fishy, you are a star, I hope you find real sollace in your garden, the ponds, I find are very therapeutic.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
You are very lucky to have each other, at her age im sure your mum knows whats best for her, as long as she is happy
Fishy, well done mate x, wish my dad had been as strong as you x
Verdun, nothing wrong with anger as long as its in the right place and not out of control, it seems you have mastered this
I duno if enjoy is the right word for how i feel about reading these oosts- i hope you know what i mean! Its nice to know we all have issues and someone out there understands x
Posts
Lyn that is so sad that mum can't face going outside to see the things she loves. Mine is the same age and doesn't want to come to my house because my garden is better kept than hers. We do all we can with hers but aren't bionic. We used to have so many happy trips to GC's but now too frail and has no interest.
Fishy you are brave to tell us that & I send you my admiration for sorting yourself out & a hug of course
Verdun, no addiction
plants, donuts 
my joke x
Old age really has nothing to recommend it when health and mobility fails.
I hope your Mum recovers some of her confidence Lyn and can venture out again. You must feel a bit lost when doing the shopping without her after all the times you went together.
Well done Fishy. Can't have been easy.
KEF - it's a shame when a well loved garden starts to look a bit rough round the edges and your Mum obviously thinks hers should still be as good as it was without thinking of the effort you have to put in. You know you are doing the best you can.
My Dad found a new hobby when we gave him our old computer fifteen years or so ago so he is still able to enjoy that even while he is pretty immobile. Hi Dad if you're looking in
Fairygirl,Verdun and KEF - thank you for your kind words. I used alcohol to cover the anxiety,to try to feel 'normal' around people. The problem with alcohol though is that its ultimately a depressant and actively hinders problem solving. When I met Mrs F I was getting drunk regularly,the alcohol became my life. But after a few months she gave me an ultimatum,the drink or her. So I said I'd go down the pub to think about it
No seriously,I chose her and now I have a drink at Christmas and that's about it. The anxiety is still there and I have my bad days with it,but I take prescribed medication now. But yes gardening really should be prescribed on the NHS. Its at once relaxing and very rewarding and an addiction to plants is the nearest thing to a healthy addiction that I can think of. That and big bars of Cadbury's Dairy Milk
Fairygirl - I love the banter on here and makes me feel part of a gardening family
Fishy - I understand about that addiction. I've been on the receiving end of it. You've done the right thing - believe me - for yourself and all the people who are important to you. I hope you and Mrs F have a good and happy life for many years to come. x
The forum is full of damn fine people. They have problems of their own, yet take the time to think of and support others who are going through hard times. They'll never know just how much they've helped me and I thank them all.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Philippa - no worries,talking openly isn't for everyone. Well it isn't normally for me,its just I feel I can with you guys.
Fairygirl - I'm so sorry to hear that,I hope its in the past now? But yes there's some lovely people on these boards,I felt that the moment I joined.
Verdun - all I can say is that you 'seem' to have overcome it? You strike me as a laid back kind of bloke
I have never experienced what you are all going through with elderly parents, but all of you are showing such kindness towards people who are frustratingly and sadly ceasing to be the parents that you knew and loved. It is very moving to read your posts.
Try nicking one of his doughnuts ......
Thank you everybody for all the kind words, I hope my mum will continue to gain strength, physical and mentally to come out. Its not like she has agrophobia,(is that the right word?) Maybe she is just not really strong enough for the outdide world. She knows her own body, not that she did when she stopped eating and drinking!
I will continue to do all I can for both of them for as long as I can, and feel thankfull that we built this extension on their bungalow so I am right next door.
They took such great care of me, mum was only 18 when I was born, dad 22, they had no money but I never went without anything, not always new, but who cares about that.
I didnt say about mum before, someone else was going on about illness, it didnt seem right.
Fishy, you are a star, I hope you find real sollace in your garden, the ponds, I find are very therapeutic.
You are very lucky to have each other, at her age im sure your mum knows whats best for her, as long as she is happy
Fishy, well done mate x, wish my dad had been as strong as you x
Verdun, nothing wrong with anger as long as its in the right place and not out of control, it seems you have mastered this
I duno if enjoy is the right word for how i feel about reading these oosts- i hope you know what i mean! Its nice to know we all have issues and someone out there understands x