Definitely an inspiring thread B3 and your progress is being monitored 🔍 😆
My current motivation however, is that OH is in the UK, so I was free to do it without things being snatched from the jaws of the chuck pile!
On a more sombre note, she extended her stay to attend the funeral of a 64yr old friend, who died suddenly and totally unexpectedly. The friend hadn’t got around to making a will, didn’t leave a note of her passwords or where to find essential documents. Her poor OH is left with a financial and administrative nightmare to deal with in the midst of shock and grief. So to all those who haven’t made a will and/or their admin is in a mess, please, do it, sort it. An essential part of death cleaning, whatever your age.
Mountainous Northern Catalunya, Spain. Hot summers, cold winters.
Passwords are definitely a thing to leave with someone or at least let them know where you've stored them. Mine are in an old address book. Different one for everything. I don't trust the online storage things. They only have to hack one thing to get hold of them.
Once I can get back out in the garden, I'll ease up on the decluttering. On a positive note, I went out to put some plant labels in the outside storage effort. ( many of which are more like tombstones for failed plants)I opened the lid and it was surprisingly neat. I'd forgotten about the pot dump a few months ago.
Make your will and keep it updated but who do you choose as an executor when you have no family to take on the task ? Your bank, a solicitor ? Even if you declutter as much as possible and various special items are marked for your chosen charities along with any immediate cash, there will still be some clearing out to do as well as selling your property (if you have one ). A plan of some sort which would ensure that you would be collected, popped in a cardboard box and taken to a Crematorium is a good idea but who would you choose/trust to do it the rest of it ? Admittedly a step further than just decluttering but be interesting to know what posters think/have experience of in a similar situation.
Yes sorry to bring up mortality and uncomfortable thoughts with the ‘death cleaning’ idea but I think it’s productive to think about our possessions in terms of what is really important and what the future may hold, even just fleetingly. This is from a combo of dealing with death both in work and family life which has driven me to make small changes in my own life, like not keeping things “for best” so much plus seeing giving to a meaningful charity as a positive action. I was only saying to MIL today about not keeping the slippers I bought her the other Xmas “for best” - enjoy them now!
Re the nice underwear in case you get run over… insider intel from a nurse: we have other things to worry about when we are saving your life plus they tend go in the bin if you’ve got blood and bits of road on them. I did stop an enthusiastic nurse from cutting off a Wales Rugby shirt once though - we carefully removed it and the patient was grateful after (although a debate started on whether it was now his ‘lucky’ or ‘unlucky’ shirt!). I will say though, if you bring in laundry-fresh smelling nightwear or new undies for your relative, we often think how lovely that is - a little gesture of love when they need some comfort.
It’s a good thread and definitely motivating! I still need to do more however.
When I was rushed to hospital after a fall down the stairs, I was horrified to come to my senses, only to find that medics had cut my new jeans from the base almost to the thigh. Moreover, I couldn't remove them because they'd put one leg in plaster.
A nurse then had to cut them off me, so that I could wear a pair of shorts. Fine in the hospital, but being discharged mid December was a touch chilly.
And yes, it very much matters to the patient on the condition of the underwear!!
I have been under orders for some time to write down passwords and leave instructions for how to operate the technology, online banking, bill paying and the working of various household items that have somehow become my domain. Frankly that is now virtually everything. However, given the events of the summer, I think that instruction manual is now redundant.
What we have done, and this was underway before the cancer diagnosis, is to write explicit funeral wishes - the hymns, the readings, the music, the verse and even the eulogy. The papers are filed and copies also lodged with the vicar.
As we have no close relatives we have assembled a file containing photos of all our significant household possessions. It’s hard to describe them as antiques but you could get away with objets d’arts and many are worth £20 - £500. We do not want a house clearance firm to sweep through the property claiming it is all junk and of no value. We do not want the charities who are beneficiaries of our will to be short changed. The folder is lodged with a friend, a generation below us, and against the photos is a comment on value and, where appropriate, who it has been left to. Our friend’s task, and she has a nice slice of the estate as payment, is to dispose of the assets of value in a way that generates market value.
De-cluttering was to have started this summer, and I really did make a start on papers and related ephemera in the loft. But then medical matters got in the way. In fact there have been 30 hospital appointments since late July and three more in the week ahead. But when the course of chemotherapy has finished we absolutely will get stuck into the task. What we might do is having a decluttering fund and put proceeds of eBay etc sales into it. What we really need is a goal to work towards, something decadent yet frivolous to spend the money on. DNA testing for us? For the cat? A weekend at the Savoy? A meal at Hambleton Hall? I don’t know but I want an idea with more verve.
That's such a difficult task, @BenCotto As for what to spend the money on, there will always be so many options. You will need to whittle down the alternatives to three or four, then choose from those.
We enjoy visiting certain places, and particularly the outdoors - although for me, that has to avoid steep hills or rough paths now.
Do whatever makes you smile, and provides memories.
Posts
My current motivation however, is that OH is in the UK, so I was free to do it without things being snatched from the jaws of the chuck pile!
On a more sombre note, she extended her stay to attend the funeral of a 64yr old friend, who died suddenly and totally unexpectedly. The friend hadn’t got around to making a will, didn’t leave a note of her passwords or where to find essential documents. Her poor OH is left with a financial and administrative nightmare to deal with in the midst of shock and grief. So to all those who haven’t made a will and/or their admin is in a mess, please, do it, sort it. An essential part of death cleaning, whatever your age.
We're currently redoing our Wills and I'm thinking of leaving a note of our passwords with them. OH and I know where to find each other's if need be.
On a positive note, I went out to put some plant labels in the outside storage effort. ( many of which are more like tombstones for failed plants)I opened the lid and it was surprisingly neat. I'd forgotten about the pot dump a few months ago.
Admittedly a step further than just decluttering but be interesting to know what posters think/have experience of in a similar situation.
A nurse then had to cut them off me, so that I could wear a pair of shorts. Fine in the hospital, but being discharged mid December was a touch chilly.
And yes, it very much matters to the patient on the condition of the underwear!!
As we have no close relatives we have assembled a file containing photos of all our significant household possessions. It’s hard to describe them as antiques but you could get away with objets d’arts and many are worth £20 - £500. We do not want a house clearance firm to sweep through the property claiming it is all junk and of no value. We do not want the charities who are beneficiaries of our will to be short changed. The folder is lodged with a friend, a generation below us, and against the photos is a comment on value and, where appropriate, who it has been left to. Our friend’s task, and she has a nice slice of the estate as payment, is to dispose of the assets of value in a way that generates market value.
De-cluttering was to have started this summer, and I really did make a start on papers and related ephemera in the loft. But then medical matters got in the way. In fact there have been 30 hospital appointments since late July and three more in the week ahead. But when the course of chemotherapy has finished we absolutely will get stuck into the task. What we might do is having a decluttering fund and put proceeds of eBay etc sales into it. What we really need is a goal to work towards, something decadent yet frivolous to spend the money on. DNA testing for us? For the cat? A weekend at the Savoy? A meal at Hambleton Hall? I don’t know but I want an idea with more verve.
As for what to spend the money on, there will always be so many options. You will need to whittle down the alternatives to three or four, then choose from those.
We enjoy visiting certain places, and particularly the outdoors - although for me, that has to avoid steep hills or rough paths now.
Do whatever makes you smile, and provides memories.