Some interesting comments on here re funerals. I think I take the opposite point of view to many, in that I believe it is the important first stage in grieving which emphasizes the finality of the loss. It also enables many people from different walks of life, who knew the deceased, to come together with their own individual memories, some of which you never knew about which makes it interesting. Our ancestors have marked a death as a special event for centuries and I think we should continue that tradition, albeit perhaps in a simpler way. I'm not religious by any means.
I know I'm old-fashioned but I prefer to wear black to a funeral and hate the modern fashion of wearing anything you please in bright colours - it seems disrespectful to me. It's almost a question of trying to ignore what has happened and pretend it didn't.
My father's ashes were scattered at sea in his favourite sailing area, my mother's ashes were interred at the family grave in a beautiful centuries old graveyard in a country village. I take great solace in taking flowers and visiting there several times a year, it's one of my favourite places. I realized after my father had gone that we had no actual grave to visit and hence there was no physical record that he had ever existed and died so had his name and dates added to my mother's stone. That gives me comfort.
Perhaps I'm just odd. Ā Hope that doesn't upset you @Hostafan1.
@didyw ,That's a nice idea, I have no problem with that. WeĀ all wore black combined with leopard print accessories at my aunt's funeral as per her request.
Hugs, cuppas or a glass of something as we reflect on life, love and loss.Ā
Very refreshing to hear that people are doing or considering basic cremations. Iāve always thought (and experienced) that funerals are an awful stress for loved ones, done to align with traditional social conventions which are outdated and out of touch with peopleās real wishes. Obviously some want a faith-based departure and some want a āsend offā but there never used to be choice for those who just donāt.Ā
As others have said, the love and memories we have are something unique, private and special. No ceremony required. I know people say a funeral helps the grieving process but for many it just doesnāt. I respect that we are all different, so thatās just my thoughts.Ā
I usually wear black to funerals, not that Iāve been to that many, fortunately. Ā As far as my own, I will make my views known to those that need to know, but leave them to organise it all. I come from a large family, some of them quite religious, and haveĀ more friends than OH, so they may find a more formal crematorium ceremony preferable. I wonāt be there, so I donāt mind what they do, as long as it doesnāt cost much, and they donāt get āguiltedā into unnecessary frills and furbelows which Iād consider a waste of money. Would like the idea of a get together to remember me instead.
Not sure what OH would like, quite anti religion and unnecessary fuss, and probably only expecting immediate family to attend anything. Iām betting he wonāt want to talk about anything like this, so itāll probably be down to the children and me, if I survive him, to agree on something weād be comfortable with.
Posts
Some interesting comments on here re funerals. I think I take the opposite point of view to many, in that I believe it is the important first stage in grieving which emphasizes the finality of the loss. It also enables many people from different walks of life, who knew the deceased, to come together with their own individual memories, some of which you never knew about which makes it interesting. Our ancestors have marked a death as a special event for centuries and I think we should continue that tradition, albeit perhaps in a simpler way. I'm not religious by any means.
I know I'm old-fashioned but I prefer to wear black to a funeral and hate the modern fashion of wearing anything you please in bright colours - it seems disrespectful to me.
It's almost a question of trying to ignore what has happened and pretend it didn't.
My father's ashes were scattered at sea in his favourite sailing area, my mother's ashes were interred at the family grave in a beautiful centuries old graveyard in a country village. I take great solace in taking flowers and visiting there several times a year, it's one of my favourite places. I realized after my father had gone that we had no actual grave to visit and hence there was no physical record that he had ever existed and died so had his name and dates added to my mother's stone. That gives me comfort.
Perhaps I'm just odd.
Ā Hope that doesn't upset you @Hostafan1.
Hugs, cuppas or a glass of something as we reflect on life, love and loss.Ā
Ā As far as my own, I will make my views known to those that need to know, but leave them to organise it all. I come from a large family, some of them quite religious, and haveĀ more friends than OH, so they may find a more formal crematorium ceremony preferable. I wonāt be there, so I donāt mind what they do, as long as it doesnāt cost much, and they donāt get āguiltedā into unnecessary frills and furbelows which Iād consider a waste of money. Would like the idea of a get together to remember me instead.
Not sure what OH would like, quite anti religion and unnecessary fuss, and probably only expecting immediate family to attend anything. Iām betting he wonāt want to talk about anything like this, so itāll probably be down to the children and me, if I survive him, to agree on something weād be comfortable with.
Ā