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🏖HELLO FORKERS 🍦 AUG ‘22 🏖

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Posts

  • steveTusteveTu Posts: 3,219
    For me my emotions were initially like a heart rate graph - very sharp up and downs with periods of nothing (numbness?). Totally volatile. Time eroded the peaks and troughs - but as a side effect protracted the feelings over longer periods.
    I tried to explain to a counsellor I was seeing, why losing a partner seemed far worse (in my case) than losing a parent. To me it was all about past,present and future - the three worlds. With a partner you make memories in the now, you share memories of the past, and you see your future with that person.  For me, my parents held part of my past - but they weren't my day-to-day and I knew they weren't my future. I lost part of the validation of my past when my parents died, but when my partner died I lost all three of those worlds. It is the difference in that hole that is left. And it was in filling that hole that morphed my feelings.

    UK - South Coast Retirement Campus (East)
  • AnniDAnniD Posts: 12,585
    I don't post on here, but l send you my very best wishes @Hostafan1
    Take comfort from happier memories, and be kind to yourself x
  • LynLyn Posts: 23,190
    edited August 2022
    @Hostafan1 Roland and I are both very sorry to hear that news, although expected, it’s still sad at the end.  Been a tough 3 years for both of you. x 
    Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor. 

  • ErgatesErgates Posts: 2,953
    So sorry for you, Hostafan.
    Sad for you that you couldn’t be there, but it is very common, bereaved often report that loved ones slip away when they are not there, almost as if it was by choice. 
    Will be thinking of you, along with your friends on this forum. Hope it helps. Take care of yourself.
  • Thinking of you @Hostafan1. Nothing I or anyone can say will really help at this time , but we are thinking of you. I recall  that you are not necessarily a fan of the major world religions , but if it is ok with you I should like to say a silent prayer or two for you and him. In any event, look after yourself as best you can, and allow yourself the space to grieve.
    Kindness is always the right choice.
  • raisingirlraisingirl Posts: 7,093
    So sad for you @Hostafan1. Knowing it's going to happen does nothing to lessen the shock when it does. You'll be in my thoughts, and I think those of many of us, over these next dark days. Sending ((hugs)), love and light. X
    Gardening on the edge of Exmoor, in Devon

    “It's still magic even if you know how it's done.” 
  • Valley GardenerValley Gardener Posts: 2,851
    edited August 2022
    May he rest in peace @Hostafan,take care of yourself.
    The whole truth is an instrument that can only be played by an expert.
  • FritillaryFritillary Posts: 498
    I am sorry for your loss @Hostafan1, you are in my thoughts. Take care.
  • chickychicky Posts: 10,410
    I’m so sad for you @Hostafan1.  He knew how much you loved him, and you have been at his side every step of this long sad journey.  Sending love and hugs for you.
  • Lizzie27Lizzie27 Posts: 12,494
    So very sorry to read your sad news @Hostafan1. Maybe the words I wrote in my last post yesterday may help (just substitute the gender text).

    All the best.
    North East Somerset - Clay soil over limestone
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