It seems that in general it really is the mother-in-law who is the problem rather than the father-in-law, or both. My father-in-law was a lovely guy but my mother-in-law was the one caricatured by comedians over the years.
The final straw for me was when they needed a new stair carpet laying. I was happy to do it and obviously didn't want paying for doing it. She asked how much and I said I didn't want anything. He response was along the lines of not being charity cases and paying their way. To shut her up I accepted £5, this was back in the mid 80s. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I had managed to upset her - not a difficult task, and she throws in my face the fact that I'd charged 'a couple of pensioners' for a simple job like laying a carpet! To add insult to injury she was in her late 50s at the time, so not even a pensioner although her husband had just hit retirement age.
You're never going to win. I'd be tempted to wind her up and enjoy the performance. Maybe she'll stalk off in high dudgeon and never speak to or visit you again.
KT53, OMG,that sounds exactly like my MIL. She walked out on her 3 small kids, went off with the lodger...he was lovely, everyone adored him. She treated him like dirt. We got on fine for many years, when he was alive,and as long as we did as she said. Other 3 kids,'you mustn't upset mother", they were scared of her.... even in their 50s.
KT53. I know how you feel . When I see a beautifully dressed old lady with immaculate curly white hair ,I freeze . Have done most of my life and I am nearly eighty . And can still imagine her walking up our path .Nothing was ever right .She made a career of complaining bitterly about anything and everything .
I was very lucky with my late MIL. She was the sweetest, kindest most thoughtful lady and I loved her and still miss her. My mum, on the other hand, gave me many life-lessons in how not to be around my own daughter.
Well, "the cage" is out of the extension, it was rather like Laurel and Hardy and the piano, we got it out through the window - just! Remind me never to let OH go into the furniture removal business.
Sorry @floralies but that story really made me smile altho I do understand your exasperation as my OH is not as spatially aware as he might be, especially with boot packing and parking. I often think he mustn't have had one of these when he was a tot
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
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Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.