@B3 I accept you were not trying to be offensive but when someone is very upset and angry itâs not helpful or kind to sayâ you are making a lot of fuss over something that wouldnât matter to meâ if someone pays a lot of money for something that is then not what is wanted because the salesperson has lied then be it a dress or a car or a tree the annoyance and upset is acceptable.Â
I totally agree that it's individual choice how they spend their money but I have never understood blowing thousands for one day when, in many cases, the couple are just entering the most expensive stage of their life. My nephew and his now wife, planned to spend £16k on their honeymoon which was intended to happen a few months after the wedding. That was stopped by Covid. He is not in a particularly well paid job but wanted her to have the wedding and honeymoon of her dreams. (Followed by a massive debt to be paid off). Even her own sister said she was always the 'princess' at home!
It did sound a little insensitive, coming from a person who is insensitive but can't help or see it when he is, then it must be insensitive. However it is right that it is just a day. Very important day to some but just a day.
We're not married and probably never will. We've looked into it but only from any potential tax saving or financial benefits. Personally the institution of marriage is like religion, very problematic in what it is, represents and its history. Sooner it loses its importance within society the better imho. It puts too much stress on people from financial to emotional.
The interesting point about not being married I've found out is that people don't see us as anything but married. People who know us and people that we just met all call my partner my wife. It's like we've got all the important parts of a marriage in place, it's only the day itself we haven't got (plus a few official matters like tax and legal matters that tbh I oppose anyway). It is just a celebration, the real meaning is in the relationship the couple has, that's more than one day.Â
However the situation is terrible. If I could help I would. I hope things resolve. And I hope the day is as memorable and full of promise for the future that it should be. All the best!Â
My step daughter said with the money her wedding cost they could have bought a small house in Wales where they live. Â Two years later, all over.Â
I suspect many of us know of similar situations. Big money on the wedding doesn't mean a successful relationship, any more than a frugal one does. That said, the two really big money weddings we have attended both ended in pretty rapid separation and divorce.
I donât understand the love of expensive cars, wouldnât wear gold and diamonds under any circumstances and have never been on holiday to exotic places. I couldnât consider paying for plastic surgery or designer clothes. However if others want to do so itâs entirely their own affair and I donât grudge them the fun they get from spending their own money on what they want.Â
My daughter has had a difficult few years and has rebuilt her life, she runs a successful small business helping children with mental health issues and her fiancĂŠ is a police officer who has put in lots of overtime to pay for this special day for both of them. Our main concern at the moment is hoping she can walk down the aisle unaided after her recent diagnosis.Â
If she wants a dress that makes her happy it doesnât seem a lot to ask for and as her mother I want that for her. I am upset that because of a mistake she may not get that. In the grand scheme of things it may seem frivolous but what is life without a little frivolity and these special occasions that mean so much to all of us who love her and will create happy memories and beautiful photos for years to come.Â
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if someone pays a lot of money for something that is then not what is wanted because the salesperson has lied then be it a dress or a car or a tree the annoyance and upset is acceptable.Â
We're not married and probably never will. We've looked into it but only from any potential tax saving or financial benefits. Personally the institution of marriage is like religion, very problematic in what it is, represents and its history. Sooner it loses its importance within society the better imho. It puts too much stress on people from financial to emotional.
The interesting point about not being married I've found out is that people don't see us as anything but married. People who know us and people that we just met all call my partner my wife. It's like we've got all the important parts of a marriage in place, it's only the day itself we haven't got (plus a few official matters like tax and legal matters that tbh I oppose anyway). It is just a celebration, the real meaning is in the relationship the couple has, that's more than one day.Â
However the situation is terrible. If I could help I would. I hope things resolve. And I hope the day is as memorable and full of promise for the future that it should be. All the best!Â
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
I suspect many of us know of similar situations. Big money on the wedding doesn't mean a successful relationship, any more than a frugal one does. That said, the two really big money weddings we have attended both ended in pretty rapid separation and divorce.