In the 60’s we carried metal tail combs, sharpened and a can of hair spray or polish, anything we had. We were scared then as they are scared now, as my nan would have been scared in 1900, I would like to see a change in my life time, I doubt it, every generation has its theories on what should be done.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
'Women live with the all-pervasive understanding that they are prey.
The women who love you have to communicate the fear to you when you’re still a girl, knowing that one day you too will have to communicate it to the girls you love. They pass you down their strategies – their defences – like your birthright. And when you’re big enough to be out in the world on your own, those same women spend their time hoping till it hurts that this fear, which they had to gift you out of love, will somehow save you.'
My teenage daughters are followed, propositioned, hassled, approached, badgered, mocked, frightened and harassed by persistent men multiple times every day, every time they leave the house. Let that sink in. And this has been happening since before they even got to secondary school age. They loved the March 2020 lockdown as they could go for a walk and most days this did not happen. Those halcyon days did not last very long, but it brought it home to them - and to me - how constant is the harassment that they have both become so inured to that they rarely even mention it.
'If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.'
Sadly, I have @Hostafan1, but I was in too much of a state to know if it was New York or New Year. My daughter is already talking about having something with her for protection. She works quite difficult hours. She's very savvy, and I don't show it, but I worry about her every time she leaves the house.
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Sadly, I have @Hostafan1, but I was in too much of a state to know if it was New York or New Year. My daughter is already talking about having something with her for protection. She works quite difficult hours. She's very savvy, and I don't show it, but I worry about her every time she leaves the house.
My daughters are both in their 30s, and I still worry about them. Especially when one of them took herself off to S. America for 3 months travelling.
I assume it was real in the Sarah case as he was a police officer.
I remember an earlier thread where some women referred to catcalls and wolf whistles as “compliments” which just goes to show that we still have a long way to go. I too had daughters who were constantly harassed as teenagers and it’s not ever acceptable. It’s a way for men to assert dominance and show off to other men and it’s disgusting. It should be reported and punished by law. It’s very discouraging that a female police officer in power is clearly an idiot. “Flag down a bus!!!!”
The utter lunacy of those statements @debs64. Aye - let's see if there's a handy bus coming along at midnight, when you don't live in an area with a frequent bus service. They aren't that frequent here during the day, and I don't exactly live in the middle of nowhere. Or dial 999. That's right luv, when he's busy putting you in handcuffs and shoving you in the back of a car. Really simple to do that....
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
My teenage daughters are followed, propositioned, hassled, approached, badgered, mocked, frightened and harassed by persistent men multiple times every day, every time they leave the house. Let that sink in. And this has been happening since before they even got to secondary school age. They loved the March 2020 lockdown as they could go for a walk and most days this did not happen. Those halcyon days did not last very long, but it brought it home to them - and to me - how constant is the harassment that they have both become so inured to that they rarely even mention it.
This is like looking a few years into my future LG. I have two girls, and the eldest is 9. It's a horrible juxtaposition to be proudly watching her grow as we've done with every change since babyhood, while at the same time dreading what those innocent changes to her body are going to bring from the world outside. I feel utter rage that nothing has changed in the 30 years between us; if anything what they will face is worse.
The utter lunacy of those statements @debs64. Aye - let's see if there's a handy bus coming along at midnight, when you don't live in an area with a frequent bus service. They aren't that frequent here during the day, and I don't exactly live in the middle of nowhere. Or dial 999. That's right luv, when he's busy putting you in handcuffs and shoving you in the back of a car. Really simple to do that....
I know it was the Met talking about London, where there are more buses, but TFL drivers don't just stop wherever you flag them down either 🙄 I don't know if it was extreme privilege talking (never used a bus so wouldn't know? Certainly they can't actually imagine being stopped by the police.). Or if they reeled off whatever responsibility-shifting suggestion they could come up with off the hoof and we're lucky they didn't suggest politely telling the assailant "no" before grabbing a passing donkey and riding away.
I think there's a misconception here. Men don't feel safe either. I think there are two separate issues - thugs (drunk or not) and sexual predators. So men have half the issue - as we're not likely to be attacked/approached for sexual reasons - but I think the prevalence of man-on-man violence is worse than man on woman. I'm not trying to lessen the issue at all - as attacking someone who is more vulnerable is so wrong - but I think we have a class of people who think physical violence is acceptable (or should I say, they don't fear getting caught for whatever reason). Like most of these things though, from violence to sexual assault, it seems that the problem is more likely to be with someone you know rather than a stranger.
In my teens, I lived in Brighton, a couple of miles from the town centre - so 'we' (me and my friends) walked into town and we'd walk back. If I was by myself, I never felt safe at all and did all the stuff any sensible person would - picked lit routes - avoided others. Brighton in the 70s was a violent place. Oddly though, if a lone person saw our drunken group walking home, we potentially were perceived as a threat to them - and we most likely engendered fear in others. Throughout my life (and I don't class myself as a shrinking violet - and have dabbled with martial arts), I wouldn't feel completely safe walking alone at night - and always avoid unknown, badly lit areas.
Posts
We were scared then as they are scared now, as my nan would have been scared in 1900, I would like to see a change in my life time, I doubt it, every generation has its theories on what should be done.
'Women live with the all-pervasive understanding that they are prey.
The women who love you have to communicate the fear to you when you’re still a girl, knowing that one day you too will have to communicate it to the girls you love. They pass you down their strategies – their defences – like your birthright. And when you’re big enough to be out in the world on your own, those same women spend their time hoping till it hurts that this fear, which they had to gift you out of love, will somehow save you.'
My teenage daughters are followed, propositioned, hassled, approached, badgered, mocked, frightened and harassed by persistent men multiple times every day, every time they leave the house. Let that sink in. And this has been happening since before they even got to secondary school age. They loved the March 2020 lockdown as they could go for a walk and most days this did not happen. Those halcyon days did not last very long, but it brought it home to them - and to me - how constant is the harassment that they have both become so inured to that they rarely even mention it.
My daughter is already talking about having something with her for protection. She works quite difficult hours. She's very savvy, and I don't show it, but I worry about her every time she leaves the house.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Especially when one of them took herself off to S. America for 3 months travelling.
Or dial 999. That's right luv, when he's busy putting you in handcuffs and shoving you in the back of a car. Really simple to do that....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...