I hardly ever bothered trying to report people - it never got me anywhere. I'd either not be believed or my concerns would be belittled. After the shock of the first couple of times - which left me speechless and usually ended with me walking out - and when I had tried to get bosses to do something without success, I developed a very hard, cold shell. Most men I've worked with, including builders, were able to be shamed. I refused to sit in site meetings with 'girlie' calendars on the walls. I'd make a huge fuss and one of them would remove it and after a couple of episodes, they would take them away before I got there. They'd call me all sorts of names but I didn't care. I didn't want to be friends with any of them, after all. I was careful not to be cornered. There were always some among my colleagues that I could trust, fortunately, and if I knew it was one of the sites where they could be trouble, I'd be sure not to be alone at all. Ten years later - the 80s, not the 70s - probably made a difference though.
And ten years later than that, most projects and teams were at least half women so it stopped being an issue at all. Women now would be horrified, I suppose, at what we put up with, what we negotiated a work-around for.
I'm not blonde, of course
Gardening on the edge of Exmoor, in Devon
“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
Different times, people smoking in Offices, raisingirl,I used to loath the revolting calendars when I had to walk into the workshop. Mind you when I was 18 between jobs,got a job in a factory heat sealing plastics. The women were in their 40s,used to talk in the tea room,they hated their husbands,hated any physical contact,yet they ganged up and sexually harassed this shy,quiet spotty chap.
The women were in their 40s,used to talk in the tea room,they hated their husbands,hated any physical contact,yet they ganged up and sexually harassed this shy,quiet spotty chap.
That's the trouble with that sort of behaviour, isn't it? It creates an aggressive, contentious atmosphere that starts to infect everyone and the datum for what is 'normal' gets shifted further and further. When you arrive from the outside, it seems astonishing that anyone would work in those conditions, let alone chose to exacerbate them. And when you say 'what the **** is going on?' they are all astonished, because they think it's just how everyone behaves. It's how homophobia works, racism, all these herd behaviours. It can be very hard to be the one holding a hand up and saying 'right, this isn't acceptable'. Although easier if you aren't the target.
Gardening on the edge of Exmoor, in Devon
“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
You can't walk out on a ward full of patients,that's not feasible. I would never have got another nursing position.I tried speaking to him,then the senior sisters,who just said ignore him,and he didn't like that I was younger, prettier,more popular, cleverer than him. There's a difference between being poor and loosing the roof over your head,had just done that through an ugly messy divorce,and ex husband leaving me with 2 mortgages. It would have meant walking out of every job,bar maybe 2
I remember "hen parties" going into gay bars in Brighton and think it was fine to grope guys and I even saw some stick their hands up a guy's kilt. Most bars ended up banning all "hen parties"
A t this time I m wearing a pretty boring nurses uniform,baggy top,baggy elasticated waistband trousers,nursing shoes,hair scraped up,and I didn't look very good after a night shift
It’s not about how a woman looks … it’s about power. Given that in this country most of us are (thankfully) not slaves, people can only have power over us if we give it to them.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Worked in a posh hotel in Framlingham, manager whose wife was away on a course said he was ill and needed a tray to to his room. I was second chef, blonde, pretty and in my 20s. He closed the door behind me, pushed me up against the door and went in for the full up close and personal..swift knee to the happy sack and out the door and left my notice. The way the hotel is laid out a corridor runs opposite his window, I saw that 2 housekeeping staff saw what was going on, both women, when I tried to make an official complaint, they denied witness to the incident. This was in the 90s.
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And ten years later than that, most projects and teams were at least half women so it stopped being an issue at all. Women now would be horrified, I suppose, at what we put up with, what we negotiated a work-around for.
I'm not blonde, of course
“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
Most bars ended up banning all "hen parties"
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.