We had no power in the village for several hours today (cutting trees near power lines) so no internet and - (possibly) more importantly - no heating. Was getting really cold when it came on again about 2pm. Yet again was struck by how much we depend on electricity for so many tasks these days.
I was very moved by DD's posting last night. I get the impression that several of us on this forum have been to that dark place ourselves.
Well done on getting yourself to that meeting today DD - we know it wasn't easy - but what a really positive outcome. Accept all the help you can whenever and wherever it is offered. Yours is a very normal and natural reaction to events which have been building over a very long time. Be kind to yourself and, for now, concentrate on tiny dolly steps rather than giant strides. Hope your doctor is kind and understanding and can provide you with some support - whether it be medication, counselling or just a sympathetic ear. Very best wishes to you and Charlie. x
Heaven is ... sitting in the garden with a G&T and a cat while watching the sun go down
"Boyz" Punkdoc, would that be you & Hosta?, If only.
I've now had a sleep, got up, done all the i*****g and cleaned the house from top to bottom - don't worry, it's only small so took all of 20 minutes, however, they were tasks I've shunned for the last week almost.
Charlie is home with me now for a couple of days and then it's my week-end with him.
As far as ex OH is concerned, Obelixx that sounds like a very good strategy, I certainly need a very robust one, he is so devious and so intimidating. This last incident went along the lines of him asking me if I was "going to take Charlie skiing again this year," I said yes, he said "the same place", I said yes, he said "week- end or midweek", I said midweek, he then said "what dates are you looking at", I told him, "Ok, I'll go and get it booked for us then" and walked off. Of course I was totally speechless. I thought he was asking so he would know when he could take Charlie on holiday with him, he can't ski, he has never skied, he didn't come with us last year, why would he even consider he would come this year. I know when I confront him about it he will accuse me of agreeing and then changing my mind, not thinking of Charlie and so on and so on. I think I may have to send him an e-mail because otherwise it will be just awful. It's so hard when on the face of it it seems like a nice kind gesture, paying and organising a holiday for me, but it would be the worst thing I could do I am sure. What kind of messages does it send to Charlie, to him and a few days exclusively in his company and I would be back to where I started 6 months ago. Why would he even want to go with me, I just don't understand him.
Anyway, besides that I feel a bit more upbeat, but still a long way to go. One step at a time. Perhaps a slice of that lovely cake will be the bets thing for now. I might have to consider buying a new handbag too if I have to fit you all into it.
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
DD - google 'coercive control'. ... it's not just about fear of physical violence, it's also fear of being made to feel worthless, stupid, humiliated etc and also manipulating situations in order to appear to children that the perpetrator is being kind and reasonable and the other parent is being unkind and stopping nice things from happening.
((hugs))
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
DD, we Forkers fold up very small so your handbag doesn't need to be very big.
Mum was having a good day - incomprehensible but happy. Review was very satisfactory too. I'm now on the bus to Newcastle, then 2 trains. Should be home before 9.
Since 2019 I've lived in east Clare, in the west of Ireland.
It's all been said, but yes - doc's right - he's bullying you. He's being 'nice' (booking a holiday ) in the hope you'll cave in on everything - including being apart, because he thinks you'll come back.
That's it in a nutshell. God loves a trier. My ex is still texting me, because he still wants to control me. Billhooks to that.
Keep strong and kick some a**
doc - are you rounding up a posse?
Lovely cake Hazel, but what's everyone else having?
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Posts
Do you need the boys to visit your ex. DD?
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
Hello everybody
We had no power in the village for several hours today (cutting trees near power lines) so no internet and - (possibly) more importantly - no heating. Was getting really cold when it came on again about 2pm. Yet again was struck by how much we depend on electricity for so many tasks these days.
I was very moved by DD's posting last night. I get the impression that several of us on this forum have been to that dark place ourselves.
Well done on getting yourself to that meeting today DD - we know it wasn't easy - but what a really positive outcome.
Accept all the help you can whenever and wherever it is offered. Yours is a very normal and natural reaction to events which have been building over a very long time. Be kind to yourself and, for now, concentrate on tiny dolly steps rather than giant strides. Hope your doctor is kind and understanding and can provide you with some support - whether it be medication, counselling or just a sympathetic ear. Very best wishes to you and Charlie. x
You are all so kind.
"Boyz" Punkdoc, would that be you & Hosta?, If only.
I've now had a sleep, got up, done all the i*****g and cleaned the house from top to bottom - don't worry, it's only small so took all of 20 minutes, however, they were tasks I've shunned for the last week almost.
Charlie is home with me now for a couple of days and then it's my week-end with him.
As far as ex OH is concerned, Obelixx that sounds like a very good strategy, I certainly need a very robust one, he is so devious and so intimidating. This last incident went along the lines of him asking me if I was "going to take Charlie skiing again this year," I said yes, he said "the same place", I said yes, he said "week- end or midweek", I said midweek, he then said "what dates are you looking at", I told him, "Ok, I'll go and get it booked for us then" and walked off. Of course I was totally speechless. I thought he was asking so he would know when he could take Charlie on holiday with him, he can't ski, he has never skied, he didn't come with us last year, why would he even consider he would come this year. I know when I confront him about it he will accuse me of agreeing and then changing my mind, not thinking of Charlie and so on and so on. I think I may have to send him an e-mail because otherwise it will be just awful. It's so hard when on the face of it it seems like a nice kind gesture, paying and organising a holiday for me, but it would be the worst thing I could do I am sure. What kind of messages does it send to Charlie, to him and a few days exclusively in his company and I would be back to where I started 6 months ago. Why would he even want to go with me, I just don't understand him.
Anyway, besides that I feel a bit more upbeat, but still a long way to go. One step at a time. Perhaps a slice of that lovely cake will be the bets thing for now.
I might have to consider buying a new handbag too if I have to fit you all into it. 
Try this one DD .....no-one would notice I was there ......honest
I think there are a few of the "girls" who may be a bit handy too!
I hate bullies.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
DD - google 'coercive control'. ... it's not just about fear of physical violence, it's also fear of being made to feel worthless, stupid, humiliated etc and also manipulating situations in order to appear to children that the perpetrator is being kind and reasonable and the other parent is being unkind and stopping nice things from happening.
((hugs))
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Remember my Certificate in Castration Pdoc
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Me too, Punkdoc.
DD, we Forkers fold up very small so your handbag doesn't need to be very big.
Mum was having a good day - incomprehensible but happy. Review was very satisfactory too. I'm now on the bus to Newcastle, then 2 trains. Should be home before 9.
Terrific news for the Chateau DD
It's all been said, but yes - doc's right - he's bullying you. He's being 'nice' (booking a holiday
) in the hope you'll cave in on everything - including being apart, because he thinks you'll come back.
That's it in a nutshell. God loves a trier. My ex is still texting me, because he still wants to control me. Billhooks to that.
Keep strong and kick some a**
doc - are you rounding up a posse?
Lovely cake Hazel, but what's everyone else having?
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...