I believe there are modern rules about separating non married couples now - rights to a share in the home after so many years of co-habiting - rights to assets, responsibility for any children etc.
After a quick google, it would appear that French law does not differentiate between married and common law couples where children are involved so you are entitled to a home and financial support for Charlie till he leaves education. You need to get professional advice about exactly what you are entitled to and also how you can earn a living if you do have to give up the B&B. Even if you come to an amicable agreement you need to get it written down and notarised in case things go sour.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
Just a quick update, first of all to thank you for the masses of support I have received on this thread and via PMs. I cannot tell you how much it means. My OH is extremely plausible and manipulative and even if he is doing it with the very best of intentions (for him anyway) I know what he is suggesting as a solution is not right. Listening to your stories and advice has really helped me focus and stay strong, I know what I want and I know what I am duly entitled to. I also know it will not be easy getting it but I will persevere.
And, at the end of the day (what an tiresome expression) if I walk away with my dignity in tact and my freedom that will be enough, my conscience will be clear and I will be able to answer my son honestly with any questions he may have in the future.
All I really want is a stable home for him anyway, I will work all hours to make sure he is provided for but I need a safe base to do it from. And, when I met OH (what a fateful day that was) I had a house, a business and a car, which unfortunately is what I have now, but all in his name not mine - how did that happen???
Anyway, my head is held high, I won't be brow beaten again into submissiveness, I am determined to come out of this stronger and am already planning my new garden, even if it a tiny plant pot on a high rise council flat balcony.
Again thank you all for believing in me and backing me up, the trust is amazing and the positive vibes are reaching me loud and clear in this truly bizarre and surreal moment in my life. Oops. crying again, not supposed to be doing that. BGPs time if anyone knows what that means. Good night.
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
Hi there DD your such an impressive person! Always thought so and if anything, more so now! You will make a wonderful, honest, safe and secure home for Charlie and you, little gardens can be lovely! and it will all be yours! Best wishes to you both, sleep well and stay strong x
When a mutual friend asked me if I thought a divorce would make me happy, I said "eventually". After all , they couldn't see why I would do it. Emotional abuse doesn't leave visible scars. He never hit me .
Hell at the time, and a long time before I trusted another man, and even longer to trust him with my money, but "eventually" it turned out right.
Posts
I believe there are modern rules about separating non married couples now - rights to a share in the home after so many years of co-habiting - rights to assets, responsibility for any children etc.
UK citizens' advice has this - https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/Documents/Advice%20factsheets/Family/f-ending-a-relationship-unmarried-couples.pdf
After a quick google, it would appear that French law does not differentiate between married and common law couples where children are involved so you are entitled to a home and financial support for Charlie till he leaves education. You need to get professional advice about exactly what you are entitled to and also how you can earn a living if you do have to give up the B&B. Even if you come to an amicable agreement you need to get it written down and notarised in case things go sour.
Good advice Obelixx - get things on paper and notarised - so often we can rely on someone keeping their word, only for them to back track later on.
With you DD ((hugs))
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Evening all,
Just a quick update, first of all to thank you for the masses of support I have received on this thread and via PMs. I cannot tell you how much it means. My OH is extremely plausible and manipulative and even if he is doing it with the very best of intentions (for him anyway) I know what he is suggesting as a solution is not right. Listening to your stories and advice has really helped me focus and stay strong, I know what I want and I know what I am duly entitled to. I also know it will not be easy getting it but I will persevere.
And, at the end of the day (what an tiresome expression) if I walk away with my dignity in tact and my freedom that will be enough, my conscience will be clear and I will be able to answer my son honestly with any questions he may have in the future.
All I really want is a stable home for him anyway, I will work all hours to make sure he is provided for but I need a safe base to do it from. And, when I met OH (what a fateful day that was) I had a house, a business and a car, which unfortunately is what I have now, but all in his name not mine - how did that happen???
Anyway, my head is held high, I won't be brow beaten again into submissiveness, I am determined to come out of this stronger and am already planning my new garden, even if it a tiny plant pot on a high rise council flat balcony.
Again thank you all for believing in me and backing me up, the trust is amazing and the positive vibes are reaching me loud and clear in this truly bizarre and surreal moment in my life. Oops. crying again, not supposed to be doing that. BGPs time if anyone knows what that means.
Good night.
Good to hear you sounding stronger and assertive DD.
Good night DD. Wishing you peaceful sleep and strength for tomorrow. xx
Having your dignity, your freedom, and a safe place for the two of you is what matters DD.
We make choices with the best of intentions. It doesn't always work and sometimes the outcome is hellish, but it can be turned round.
Fidget did it, I did it and I know you can do it too xxx
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Hi there DD
your such an impressive person! Always thought so and if anything, more so now! You will make a wonderful, honest, safe and secure home for Charlie and you, little gardens can be lovely! 
and it will all be yours! Best wishes to you both, sleep well and stay strong x
When a mutual friend asked me if I thought a divorce would make me happy, I said "eventually". After all , they couldn't see why I would do it. Emotional abuse doesn't leave visible scars. He never hit me .
Hell at the time, and a long time before I trusted another man, and even longer to trust him with my money, but "eventually" it turned out right.
Last edited: 23 June 2016 22:36:36
Emotional scars are the worst fidget.
I doubt I'll ever trust anyone again. I'm so glad you found real happiness. Your wedding photos were beautiful
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
DD . I wish you and Charlie all the best.