Bert was walking aimlessly along the beach & kicks a bottle washed up on the shore. Noting the cork was still in it he was curious as to whether there was anything in it so pulled the cork out. There was a hiss & a puff of smoke and a genie suddenly appeared. "I've been corked up in that bottle for 2000 years he said: as a reward I'll grant you three wishes."
"Well I'm ever so thirsty," says Bert, "I could do with a bottle of beer right now!" Whoosh! a bottle of beer appeared in his hand as if by magic. He took a long hard pull on the bottle then looked at it carefully somewhat astonished - "I've just drunk about 2 pints from that bottle," he said, "yet it's still completely full!"
"That's right," said the genie, "you asked for a bottle of beer, not a half-full or nearly empty bottle - it will always be full for the rest of your life!"
"Well I never did," says the Bert, and after a bit of thought says, "Here! I've got 2 more wishes - you did say 3 didn't you?"
"That's correct," said the genie - "right" says Bert - "I've have another 2 of them!"
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Gardening Jokes.
Just moved into a bungalow, it's OK, just one major flaw!
Is that because when building a house and he ran out of bricks the Irish Builder decided to "bung a low roof on it?".
Bert was walking aimlessly along the beach & kicks a bottle washed up on the shore. Noting the cork was still in it he was curious as to whether there was anything in it so pulled the cork out. There was a hiss & a puff of smoke and a genie suddenly appeared. "I've been corked up in that bottle for 2000 years he said: as a reward I'll grant you three wishes."
"Well I'm ever so thirsty," says Bert, "I could do with a bottle of beer right now!" Whoosh! a bottle of beer appeared in his hand as if by magic. He took a long hard pull on the bottle then looked at it carefully somewhat astonished - "I've just drunk about 2 pints from that bottle," he said, "yet it's still completely full!"
"That's right," said the genie, "you asked for a bottle of beer, not a half-full or nearly empty bottle - it will always be full for the rest of your life!"
"Well I never did," says the Bert, and after a bit of thought says, "Here! I've got 2 more wishes - you did say 3 didn't you?"
"That's correct," said the genie - "right" says Bert - "I've have another 2 of them!"
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.... wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Save time in the summer - water your garden with brandy - it'll come up half cut!
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Dove
You are either for rrhinum or anti-rrhinum
Ha ha ha!!
What do you get when you cross a grass cutter with a cow?
A lawn Moo..er