Lyn hugs, try not to imagine how you will feel on Wednesday. I found that the practical side of me took over prior to going to the crem' and like Verdun I then went on auto pilot and didn't notice who was around me, afterwards people chatted in small groups and spoke to Mum and other family members, after a while I left them to it and wandered around Dad's garden
I feel exactly the same Lyn about funerals. Both with Mum and Dad I dreaded the funerals because of the social side. Like you say though it is only a couple of hours. I felt so much better when the funerals were over and I could get on with dealing with my own thoughts and feelings in my own way.
Sorry to hear about your loss. My condolensces.Try not to worry about the funeral, the funeral director and their staff will look after you and guide you through it.
No one will expect you to be the life and soul of the ceremony.
Try to think of your Mum as being set free of all of her trials and tribulations and soaring free with the stars.
I am not religious and have already chosen the music and readings etc. for my funeral as I am sure my son and daughter would have no idea of what to choose. I have put it all in a decorated shoe box and shown my daughter where it is. I have asked that no one wears black but please to wear a buttonhole of some kind and that my ashes be scattered somewhere beautiful, that can be my children's choice.
Initially my daughter was horrified when I told her what I had done but now that she has had time to think about it she is in full agreement, I suspect slightly relieved and now happy to carry out my wishes.
I do understand your concerns around your mum's funeral - I do not 'do' crowds or small talk very well either. For both my parents' funerals I felt very much (at the time) that I would rather be anywhere else but there.
Looking back, however, the formal event did give a sense of closure and moving forward. People were kind & supportive and family feuds (which had caused me much angst in the days prior to the events) were forgotten for at least a few hours and people made the effort to be civil and courteous to one another out of respect for my family.
I think it was a healing process overall. Don't worry about what to say or how to deal with everyone - they are there to support you not the other way round. Nobody will expect you to be the life and soul of the party & will understand if you are a bit quiet & reserved. I'm sure nobody will judge you if you want to slip away early because it's all 'a bit much'.
I hope it all goes as well as these things can and it gives you some peace and closure x
Heaven is ... sitting in the garden with a G&T and a cat while watching the sun go down
No, you've got that wrong too Verdun - that won't be until the 17th - a bit of a while to wait but apparently there's a backlog and Easter is in the way!
Never mind - it's reassuring to know that even Poldark can have a senior moment
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Posts
Lyn hugs, try not to imagine how you will feel on Wednesday. I found that the practical side of me took over prior to going to the crem' and like Verdun I then went on auto pilot and didn't notice who was around me, afterwards people chatted in small groups and spoke to Mum and other family members, after a while I left them to it and wandered around Dad's garden
Steve & Fishy keep gardening
I thought Lyn's Mum's funeral was on Wednesday
I feel exactly the same Lyn about funerals. Both with Mum and Dad I dreaded the funerals because of the social side. Like you say though it is only a couple of hours. I felt so much better when the funerals were over and I could get on with dealing with my own thoughts and feelings in my own way.
Think the funeral for Lyn's mum is on Wednesday Kef. But I maybe wrong.
Hi Lyn,
Sorry to hear about your loss. My condolensces.Try not to worry about the funeral, the funeral director and their staff will look after you and guide you through it.
No one will expect you to be the life and soul of the ceremony.
Try to think of your Mum as being set free of all of her trials and tribulations and soaring free with the stars.
I am not religious and have already chosen the music and readings etc. for my funeral as I am sure my son and daughter would have no idea of what to choose. I have put it all in a decorated shoe box and shown my daughter where it is. I have asked that no one wears black but please to wear a buttonhole of some kind and that my ashes be scattered somewhere beautiful, that can be my children's choice.
Initially my daughter was horrified when I told her what I had done but now that she has had time to think about it she is in full agreement, I suspect slightly relieved and now happy to carry out my wishes.
Hi Lyn
I do understand your concerns around your mum's funeral - I do not 'do' crowds or small talk very well either. For both my parents' funerals I felt very much (at the time) that I would rather be anywhere else but there.
Looking back, however, the formal event did give a sense of closure and moving forward. People were kind & supportive and family feuds (which had caused me much angst in the days prior to the events) were forgotten for at least a few hours and people made the effort to be civil and courteous to one another out of respect for my family.
I think it was a healing process overall. Don't worry about what to say or how to deal with everyone - they are there to support you not the other way round. Nobody will expect you to be the life and soul of the party & will understand if you are a bit quiet & reserved. I'm sure nobody will judge you if you want to slip away early because it's all 'a bit much'.
I hope it all goes as well as these things can and it gives you some peace and closure x
No, you've got that wrong too Verdun - that won't be until the 17th - a bit of a while to wait but apparently there's a backlog and Easter is in the way!
Never mind - it's reassuring to know that even Poldark can have a senior moment
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.