I have done the effing scintigraphy this morning. No dramas, I was a good girl. Results will be communicated by my doctor next week. For the moment I am feeling positive, tomorrow younger son will come and will stay with us one month before departing for London again for another adventure. This afternoon and tomorrow will be spent making vegan chocolate cake and soups. OH is already looking miserable 🤣.
Dear @D0rdogne_Damsel I don't know your story, other people here maybe know more and have given you warnings. Guilt feelings are atrocious, they eat us alive. BUT it seems that kindness is part of you and you cannot deny it to someone who might have been bad but is now in need. Just be careful, when he comes out of hospital avoid at least for some weeks.
@Good news @Dovefromabove , what progress!! @AnnaB this is the time of year when I wish I had a cleaner 😊 @Busy-Lizzie safe continuation of journey. I smiled when you mentioned Brexiter friends, good to keep in touch with them.
It's a rainy day but at least it is warm. So wellies it is, can't keep away from the garden, not today.
Some cheery news on here today! Well done all. The sun came out here for a couple of hours, and I’ve been removing skunk cabbage from the ‘bog garden’. Decided my innards couldn’t get any worse, and I definitely won’t be allowed to do any gardening after next week, so I might as well get a few jobs done. Feel very pleased with myself, and really enjoyed being put in the fresh air. Poor @D0rdogne_Damsel, you are so soft hearted, and not a bad thing! However, remember that Charlie is your first priority, and should be his dads too, so remind him next time he wants a favour that you can’t wear yourself out and do your best for Charlie. Glad you have a date in the near future when hopefully all will be sorted out for the house.
Afternoon all, so good to have more cheerful news all round it seems and even more cheerfully we had sunshine and warmth today. OH has gone off on his canal boat trip so I have the house to myself - no cooking for a few days - yippee!!
Thought I was going to have peace and quiet but NDN's have started their new front garden project so I've had a digger, a lorry, two blokes with a chainsaw and a very loud radio all day. Peaceful it has not been. They completely blocked our drive with their lorry so I couldn't even climb out this morning until I asked for access and then had the cheek to park it on our drive this afternoon so they could just throw the walnut tree logs they cut down across the dividing fence! The cheek of some people! I don't want to fall out with them as normally relations are quite cordial but some warning and a polite request wouldn't have come amiss.
That's great news DD, roll on the 11th May and for Rob too @Dovefromabove, getting back to normal will make all the difference to his state of mind.
@Ergates, you are going to find it so frustrating after your op if you can't do any gardening for a while, at least my gynae op was in December so there wasn't much of an incentive to get outside. We saw a big patch of skunk cabbage at Bowood last week but I think it's now on the invasive list and banned from sale?
Your neighbours really ought to have given you a heads up @Lizzie27, although perhaps they weren't aware of how much disruption the builders would cause. I hope it all soon passes.
Great news on your son's progress @Dovefromabove, from what we see/read on here, you've a feisty pair of offspring, wonder where they get that from. 😉 All good news.
@coccinella, I'm glad the procedure is over for you and finger crossed for a good result next week. Enjoy your time with your son.
'My story' is rather pathetic I'm ashamed to say, met a chap nearly 20 years ago now, swept me off my feet, promised me the world as it were, then slowly but surely took complete control of my life. Charlie came along, truly the only good thing to come out of this relationship, and I got stuck, trying to do the best for my son. Finally, 6 years ago I finally escaped, set up my little business, which has become a huge success and thought everything was going to be fine. Then Covid struck, restaurant shut down, I was really ill too and the ex came to 'help' . They always get you when you're down don't they. Promised me the world again, said it'd all be better this time, he'd do anything to make me happy.... I tried I really did, but he has to control everything, makes you think you're an idiot, a friend calls it 'gaslighting'. Anyway, I've made another bid for freedom with the new house, but somehow or other he manages to manipulate his way back into my life. He's really ill, seriously so, he's Charlie's dad, and I've know idea why but he suggests something and there I am agreeing to do a two hour round trip to visit him in hospital. He 'helps' (I pay him) with the paperwork in the restaurant, but I know really it's just an excuse to be in contact with me. We always just need a meeting about something or other....
If I can just secure this house, I'll have a safe haven for myself and Charlie. Charlie can't stay at Chateau de Gâteaux anymore, there's no room, his old bedroom is now a 30 seater dining room, so I am only able to spend quality time with him at the 'old' family home, which means the ex is a constant presence.
Written down it makes me look completely stupid, but honestly, this man is spectacularly good at manipulation, coercion and diverting blame. He is also completely obsessed with me. Another friend says it's because he loves basking in the reflected limelight of my success. Apparently, these narcissistic personalities are attracted to kind people and abuse their trust and natural instinct to see the best in people. I've been well and truly sucked in, and am now doing my best to escape. Everyday I thank whoever is out there for making Charlie so 'normal' and sensible and kind.
Funnily enough, Charlie explained in great detail to me recently about the difference between IQ and EQ, apparently I'm high EQ, his dad is high IQ ( very high). Charlie's conclusion was that I'm actually a better equipped human being than his dad to cope (and succeed) in the world around us. Doesn't always feel like it, but I do know I do my best to be kind to everyone. Ever onwards, as they say. Or, to simplify things, give me garden and I'll lose myself in it.
Gosh, another long rambling post, do scroll past if it's too much, but it really does me the world of good to put thoughts down on paper, as it were.
I hope everyone is ok, all seems fairly positive at the moment, spring is a lovely month for gardeners, despite aches and pains.
“Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?” —Betsy Cañas Garmon
@D0rdogne_Damsel, ramble away if you need to, we don't mind. I've been in a similar situation and it took me 25 years before I plucked up courage to walk away. We were far too young and should never have married in the first place. My two children were the good things that came out of that relationship. I bought a house although finances were extremely tight and made a garden which I absolutely adored. Three years later I met my present husband and we are very happy together - older and wiser!
I wish you all the best but do please say no to your ex and keep on saying no, it's the only thing he'll understand, you must break away for your own sanity and peace of mind.
Poor @D0rdogne_Damsel, so hard to break away when so much of what your ex is doing is designed to undermine your confidence. Easy for us to say you have to believe in yourself, but remember that we all believe in you. There are loads of helpful articles on line on how to cope with emotional abuse and coercive behaviour, useful to remind yourself what manipulation looks like, very hard to spot as it often creeps up on you. You seem to be making the right moves and plans, but don’t allow yourself to get sucked into feeling sorry for your ex, you need to feel sorry for yourself! Good Luck and keep strong.
Cold drizzle here today. I’ve been reading the April pages (Forkers) all morning and regret not reading them properly when they were fresh. I’m up to page 30 of 52 so far 😳. You’re such a lovely lot. I re-live your good and bad experiences with you. 🤭 I’m very glad that my body seems to be slowly recovering from the Covid infection in September.
Hubby made toasted sandwiches for lunch with cheese, ham, tomato, parsley etc. I was reminded of one of Dad’s old sayings - he always called cheese “bung” which is a vulgar way of saying it made him constipated. 😡😂😂 oo-ah,.
Our son had to have a ‘general’ yesterday for a tooth extraction. Apparently the root of a large molar had grown around something else in there. They kept him in hospital overnight, so we were relieved to get a phone call this morning from him. His sister had driven over there this morning to drive him home. They live on opposite sides of Canberra, so it’s a bit of a drag for her.
Our grandson is planning a long drive on Tuesday to visit his grandfather whose wife recently died. The funeral should be a chance for that side of his family to support each other. I’ve never met them. They live in central NSW.
Posts
I have done the effing scintigraphy this morning. No dramas, I was a good girl. Results will be communicated by my doctor next week. For the moment I am feeling positive, tomorrow younger son will come and will stay with us one month before departing for London again for another adventure. This afternoon and tomorrow will be spent making vegan chocolate cake and soups. OH is already looking miserable 🤣.
Dear @D0rdogne_Damsel I don't know your story, other people here maybe know more and have given you warnings. Guilt feelings are atrocious, they eat us alive. BUT it seems that kindness is part of you and you cannot deny it to someone who might have been bad but is now in need. Just be careful, when he comes out of hospital avoid at least for some weeks.
@Good news @Dovefromabove , what progress!!
@AnnaB this is the time of year when I wish I had a cleaner 😊
@Busy-Lizzie safe continuation of journey. I smiled when you mentioned Brexiter friends, good to keep in touch with them.
It's a rainy day but at least it is warm. So wellies it is, can't keep away from the garden, not today.
Thank you guys have a good afternoon.
Luxembourg
Poor @D0rdogne_Damsel, you are so soft hearted, and not a bad thing! However, remember that Charlie is your first priority, and should be his dads too, so remind him next time he wants a favour that you can’t wear yourself out and do your best for Charlie. Glad you have a date in the near future when hopefully all will be sorted out for the house.
Thought I was going to have peace and quiet but NDN's have started their new front garden project so I've had a digger, a lorry, two blokes with a chainsaw and a very loud radio all day. Peaceful it has not been. They completely blocked our drive with their lorry so I couldn't even climb out this morning until I asked for access and then had the cheek to park it on our drive this afternoon so they could just throw the walnut tree logs they cut down across the dividing fence! The cheek of some people! I don't want to fall out with them as normally relations are quite cordial but some warning and a polite request wouldn't have come amiss.
That's great news DD, roll on the 11th May and for Rob too @Dovefromabove, getting back to normal will make all the difference to his state of mind.
@Ergates, you are going to find it so frustrating after your op if you can't do any gardening for a while, at least my gynae op was in December so there wasn't much of an incentive to get outside. We saw a big patch of skunk cabbage at Bowood last week but I think it's now on the invasive list and banned from sale?
Good luck with the application @didyw.
@Allotment Boy, those roots remind of my next job!
Your neighbours really ought to have given you a heads up @Lizzie27, although perhaps they weren't aware of how much disruption the builders would cause. I hope it all soon passes.
Great news on your son's progress @Dovefromabove, from what we see/read on here, you've a feisty pair of offspring, wonder where they get that from. 😉 All good news.
@coccinella, I'm glad the procedure is over for you and finger crossed for a good result next week. Enjoy your time with your son.
'My story' is rather pathetic I'm ashamed to say, met a chap nearly 20 years ago now, swept me off my feet, promised me the world as it were, then slowly but surely took complete control of my life. Charlie came along, truly the only good thing to come out of this relationship, and I got stuck, trying to do the best for my son. Finally, 6 years ago I finally escaped, set up my little business, which has become a huge success and thought everything was going to be fine. Then Covid struck, restaurant shut down, I was really ill too and the ex came to 'help' . They always get you when you're down don't they. Promised me the world again, said it'd all be better this time, he'd do anything to make me happy.... I tried I really did, but he has to control everything, makes you think you're an idiot, a friend calls it 'gaslighting'. Anyway, I've made another bid for freedom with the new house, but somehow or other he manages to manipulate his way back into my life. He's really ill, seriously so, he's Charlie's dad, and I've know idea why but he suggests something and there I am agreeing to do a two hour round trip to visit him in hospital. He 'helps' (I pay him) with the paperwork in the restaurant, but I know really it's just an excuse to be in contact with me. We always just need a meeting about something or other....
If I can just secure this house, I'll have a safe haven for myself and Charlie. Charlie can't stay at Chateau de Gâteaux anymore, there's no room, his old bedroom is now a 30 seater dining room, so I am only able to spend quality time with him at the 'old' family home, which means the ex is a constant presence.
Written down it makes me look completely stupid, but honestly, this man is spectacularly good at manipulation, coercion and diverting blame. He is also completely obsessed with me. Another friend says it's because he loves basking in the reflected limelight of my success. Apparently, these narcissistic personalities are attracted to kind people and abuse their trust and natural instinct to see the best in people. I've been well and truly sucked in, and am now doing my best to escape. Everyday I thank whoever is out there for making Charlie so 'normal' and sensible and kind.
Funnily enough, Charlie explained in great detail to me recently about the difference between IQ and EQ, apparently I'm high EQ, his dad is high IQ ( very high). Charlie's conclusion was that I'm actually a better equipped human being than his dad to cope (and succeed) in the world around us. Doesn't always feel like it, but I do know I do my best to be kind to everyone. Ever onwards, as they say. Or, to simplify things, give me garden and I'll lose myself in it.
Gosh, another long rambling post, do scroll past if it's too much, but it really does me the world of good to put thoughts down on paper, as it were.
I hope everyone is ok, all seems fairly positive at the moment, spring is a lovely month for gardeners, despite aches and pains.
I wish you all the best but do please say no to your ex and keep on saying no, it's the only thing he'll understand, you must break away for your own sanity and peace of mind.
There are loads of helpful articles on line on how to cope with emotional abuse and coercive behaviour, useful to remind yourself what manipulation looks like, very hard to spot as it often creeps up on you.
You seem to be making the right moves and plans, but don’t allow yourself to get sucked into feeling sorry for your ex, you need to feel sorry for yourself! Good
Luck and keep strong.
Hubby made toasted sandwiches for lunch with cheese, ham, tomato, parsley etc.
I was reminded of one of Dad’s old sayings - he always called cheese “bung” which is a vulgar way of saying it made him constipated. 😡😂😂 oo-ah,.
Our son had to have a ‘general’ yesterday for a tooth extraction. Apparently the root of a large molar had grown around something else in there. They kept him in hospital overnight, so we were relieved to get a phone call this morning from him. His sister had driven over there this morning to drive him home. They live on opposite sides of Canberra, so it’s a bit of a drag for her.