@pansyface - this is the last overseas trip your OH's brother and his wife will make and of course they want to see as many friends and family as possible so I don't think it is unreasonable or selfish of them. There are no Covid restrictions in place to prevent them. Your keeping yourself safe by not mixing with others is also reasonable and a good compromise is your OH going to visit them in Edinburgh. You can work out somewhere for him to sleep afterwards. If you think he will return to you as somehow contaminated, there is that risk. But perhaps he could occupy a separate room after he returns and tests negative?
@pansyface, would it be an option for them to stay somewhere reasonably close to you that has an outdoor eating area. That way you could meet up for a couple of hours with them outside where you shouldn't be exposed to the risk of covid. They could also test before meeting up with you both.
Families eh! Bee x
Gardener and beekeeper in beautiful Scottish Borders
A single bee creates just one twelfth of a teaspoon of honey in her lifetime
They will certainly have been mixing with all sorts of people from unknown places and circumstances but, assuming they are fully vaccinated and wear masks on the plane (will they?) they'll be unlucky to catch Covid and, if they do, it will be mild depending on their own health.
I certainly think if they're undertaking the journey they should take advantage and see as many people as possible whilst over here - testing all the way - and if you and OH are also fully vaccinated you should be OK too. However, I do understand your being unwilling to host them. It'll be your last chance to see them in person so consider getting them to stay nearby and meet up for lunch outside somewhere or let OH toddle off to Edinburgh which is not exactly short of places to stay.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
@pansyface I don't think you are being unreasonable at all given your situation and health concerns If you have no real connection with your BIL, there should be no compunction on your behalf to either host them or meet them face to face if you don't feel happy about it. The fact that they are relatives as opposed to friends and are elderly shouldn't make you feel guilty. Would they have made the trip just to see you as opposed to making the trip out of necessity ? If the answer is No, then it shouldn't be an issue that you are reluctant to fit in with their plans. Matters not whether others feel you are being unreasonable - it's what YOU feel that counts and it would seem your OH understands your position. Hope you get it sorted to both yours and OH's satisfaction. Just saw your latest post Pansy - I'd already written but jumping up and down didn't press POST. Doesn't seem as if I need to change what I wrote above tho so enjoy your Cat Chat
they are both in ill health. Heart bypass and diabetes and cancer years ago and all manner of problems. I doubt very much that brother will follow any guidance re masks and wife will do as she is told by him.
This will no doubt sound terrible but if they're in their 80s & in ill health & given your description of their personalities, I doubt they actually care what you do or think (a plus obviously)..and even if they do ..well, lets be honest, they'll be dead soon...so I wouldn't worry..look after yourself first. There must be a hell of lot a cash in this bank account for them to make this effort!
I'm so sorry you're involved in this, Pansyface (been there, done at least some of that) - my only advice is RUN. AVOID. Leggit! Don't get stuck in this groove. They don't seem to care about you, so I'm really sorry if you feel you have to care about them.
@pansyface given the situation you and your OH are in, i.e. having shielded for the past 2 years I don't think you are being unreasonable in saying you don't wish to meet up with them. It seems your OH is in agreement, but it is understandably more difficult for him to say no, with the ages of the people involved.
I'm a regular visitor to the TripAdvisor forums and get more and more frustrated with people who ask questions on there clearly without having done any research themselves and expecting everybody else to do it for them.
Two very recent examples - somebody who will be in Edinburgh for 2 days and asking if they will have time to visit London for the day? They have to be back in Edinburgh the same evening. The other 'How long do I need to spend in Edinburgh?'
I know people haven't been travelling much in the past couple of years, but surely that actually gave them extra time to do some research!!!!!
I have to say I find it very strange that someone their age has to arrive in person from the other side of the world to sort out and close a bank account. Surely in this day and age with digital banking it can be done without travelling.
Posts
They could also test before meeting up with you both.
Families eh!
Bee x
A single bee creates just one twelfth of a teaspoon of honey in her lifetime
I certainly think if they're undertaking the journey they should take advantage and see as many people as possible whilst over here - testing all the way - and if you and OH are also fully vaccinated you should be OK too. However, I do understand your being unwilling to host them. It'll be your last chance to see them in person so consider getting them to stay nearby and meet up for lunch outside somewhere or let OH toddle off to Edinburgh which is not exactly short of places to stay.
If you have no real connection with your BIL, there should be no compunction on your behalf to either host them or meet them face to face if you don't feel happy about it. The fact that they are relatives as opposed to friends and are elderly shouldn't make you feel guilty. Would they have made the trip just to see you as opposed to making the trip out of necessity ? If the answer is No, then it shouldn't be an issue that you are reluctant to fit in with their plans.
Matters not whether others feel you are being unreasonable - it's what YOU feel that counts and it would seem your OH understands your position. Hope you get it sorted to both yours and OH's satisfaction.
Just saw your latest post Pansy - I'd already written but jumping up and down didn't press POST. Doesn't seem as if I need to change what I wrote above tho so enjoy your Cat Chat
There must be a hell of lot a cash in this bank account for them to make this effort!