That’s a bit better @WonkyWomble … but next time plan ahead … have the discussion before not afterwards.
And take a leaf out of my MIL’s books … if no one says they’re going to do the washing up after a meal she sits on the sofa and says ‘I’m finished for the day so I’ll let you all help each other with the washing up without me interfering’ 😉
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
@WonkyWomble; I don’t think I can add much to the advice that has been offered other than possibly to write a list of the things you have done over Christmas and the things your partner has done. As you have already had a conversation with him on this topic I would put the list to one side but it might, just somehow, emerge with the Christmas decorations.
“Oh, look what I have just found,” you might innocently say if it looks like history might be repeating itself in 2022, “I remember writing this last Boxing Day when I was very pissed off.”
For what it’s worth, I too do the shopping, present buying and wrapping, food preparation and cooking, and the post meal cleaning up and putting away. But, in sickness and in health, and all that. I don’t suppose your partner is partially sighted, has balance issues, peripheral neuropathy and gripping headaches from a brain tumour.
@WonkyWomble - do not, under any circumstances, wait till next Xmas. His training needs to start right now, today. If you cook, he washes up. All year. As you are both working it's only fair to share the domestic load and once you get to retirement you'll be so busy following your own interests and hobbies the same sharing of chores will still apply.
It is blowing a hoolie outside and persisting down and I had set aside tomorrow and Wednesday for gardening, including planting shallots, but it will be too soggy. Humph. Will just have to sew instead.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
You are right @BenCotto he has no valid reason as you say! If I were in your position I would like you, willingly do it without a grumble, as you say, in sickness and health. Admitted he has sickle cell and when he has an episode I am at his side with everything he needs but when he's drinking a beer and watching a film I'm not so inclined!!!
The unequal distribution of chores was why I left my 50 hour a week job.... just couldn't do everything. Figured if I'm going to be unpaid homehelp and cook then I should be working less hours in my job to allow for this! I do like the idea of the job list hiding in with the decorations.
The student house over the road from ours when I was hip and cool had a rather amusing sign above the sink made by the one resident with a sense of hygiene. It was a flow chart titled Am I a selfish sh%t? You followed either of the 2 options. 1. Is this my mess? Am I a. Going to leave it for the next poor s%d Or Am I b. Going to take responsibility for my own mess and blo%%y well clear it up.... It went down through more options until you answered the title question! I did chuckle 😃
@Obelixx I think the chat may have sunk in deeper than I thought, came home from my afternoon shift to a tidy kitchen and scrubbed baking trays!! He has never cooked for me in 22 years, his idea of what is palatable is open to question! He is however an expert hoover operator! We keep to our strong points 😉
@WonkyWomble. What happened to you this Christmas made me really angry. I keep thinking about it. Let this be the last year happens if only to make me feel better 😏
Thanks @B3 I think if I hadn't been so hurt I would normally have been angry as well. But it just compounded all the little things... my Dad got me 3 pots of jam even though I've always hated it, a scarf in a colour I've said all my life I don't like... it just shows how little attention they pay me and I always put so much thought and effort in. And to top it all, I spent so long cooking that I couldn't enjoy it, sick of food. Must be the only person to have lost weight over Christmas! I sound ungrateful but this is where we are allowed to moan so thanks for giving me the airtime to do so!!! 🤗
Wonky, just a passing thought. Would it help if you sent a very early Xmas card with a list of 'helpful hints' for gifts? Nothing heavy handed more like 'I like/love lavender' then you might get a plant or scented soap.
Jam!?!? Papa Womble gave you jam?!?! 🤯 you’ve never ever liked sweet things. You even had Lego instead of chocolate eggs at Easter!!! He’s taking after his mother … see my earlier post (on the strange present thread)about Petite blue ribbed tights … possibly he won it at bingo … that’s where his mother got the tights from I’m pretty sure 🤪
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
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Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
For what it’s worth, I too do the shopping, present buying and wrapping, food preparation and cooking, and the post meal cleaning up and putting away. But, in sickness and in health, and all that. I don’t suppose your partner is partially sighted, has balance issues, peripheral neuropathy and gripping headaches from a brain tumour.
It is blowing a hoolie outside and persisting down and I had set aside tomorrow and Wednesday for gardening, including planting shallots, but it will be too soggy. Humph. Will just have to sew instead.
If I were in your position I would like you, willingly do it without a grumble, as you say, in sickness and health. Admitted he has sickle cell and when he has an episode I am at his side with everything he needs but when he's drinking a beer and watching a film I'm not so inclined!!!
The unequal distribution of chores was why I left my 50 hour a week job.... just couldn't do everything. Figured if I'm going to be unpaid homehelp and cook then I should be working less hours in my job to allow for this!
I do like the idea of the job list hiding in with the decorations.
The student house over the road from ours when I was hip and cool had a rather amusing sign above the sink made by the one resident with a sense of hygiene.
It was a flow chart titled
Am I a selfish sh%t?
You followed either of the 2 options.
1. Is this my mess?
Am I a. Going to leave it for the next poor s%d
Or
Am I b. Going to take responsibility for my own mess and blo%%y well clear it up....
It went down through more options until you answered the title question!
I did chuckle 😃
@Obelixx I think the chat may have sunk in deeper than I thought, came home from my afternoon shift to a tidy kitchen and scrubbed baking trays!!
He has never cooked for me in 22 years, his idea of what is palatable is open to question!
He is however an expert hoover operator! We keep to our strong points 😉
@WonkyWomble - good start but don't let him rest on his laurels and start sliding into bad habits again.
I sound ungrateful but this is where we are allowed to moan so thanks for giving me the airtime to do so!!! 🤗
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.