In terms of sexuality, I doubt there has been a time when same-sex attraction has been more accepted by society. So I think the idea that increasing numbers of trans children are avoiding confronting their sexuality is suspect. I don't think there's this calculation that goes on in people's heads that makes them decide to be trans. It's more a persistent deep seated sense of their gender identity which is at odds with their physical sex.
"What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour".
We were at a family birthday party at the weekend, so people of all ages there, most of whom I didn't know as the 'family' is on my sister-in-laws husbands side. We were with my s-i-l this evening and I asked who the young girl in the pink tracksuit was related to. Confusion reigned as they couldn't work out who I meant. I added 'shoulder length fair hair, pulled up into a ponytail' to the description and the penny dropped. Only it wasn't a girl at all, but a young boy - a great nephew of about 12 years old. At the same event there were two teens, age about 17, who I thought were boyfriend and girlfriend until the one I thought was the 'boyfriend' stood up and they were wearing a croptop. It is quite unusual for a bloke so I was again confused. I asked about them also and discovered they aren't boyfriend and girlfriend but sisters. I have now given up all hope of gender identification.
When I come to think about it, there's really no reason to expect to be able to tell someone's gender by their clothing, hairstyle etc. It's just a convention. Of course some of us have figures that make it pretty obvious whatever we wear, but I expect young people quite enjoy keeping the adults guessing regardless of whether they are trans or not, gay, straight, whatever. I lived in jeans, t-shirts and trainers as a youngster and didn't do many girly things, and was in classes with mostly boys because of my subject choices, but I had long hair and a curvy figure even at that age, so no-one mistook me for a boy, they just thought I was bit odd!
Doncaster, South Yorkshire. Soil type: sandy, well-drained
I loved pink and dolls and wore false eyelashes and mini skirts in my teens. I liked it when boys whistled. Nowadays I'm often to be found wearing jeans, trowel in hand, kneeling in the earth.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
I can still remember being 'misgendered' by a stranger when I was about 13/14. I don't know why, but I was utterly mortified. I think back to how I felt when I am trying to empathise with what transgender teens are going through.
I think it's generally right to de-gender aspects of life where gender is an unnecessary. For example why are boys and girls' school uniforms gendered? I think this would make life less stressful for transgender teens, and also perhaps might make gender-nonconformity more acceptable, without that sense that if you don't 'fit in' you must be trans.
"What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour".
I'd just like to stress something here, that is the uncomfortable truth of female privilege.. we are constantly bombarded with the feminist mantra that it doesn't exist, well it does and it's very real.. and is one of the contributing factors that causes early onset, sexually inverted male children [transsexualised in utero], to cross sex to attempt a transition to a female role even whilst still in infants school..
What these children see are girls generally cossetted, precious, treated differently by boys [to whom they become attracted], and generally less seems expected of them.. girls, as evidenced by personal recollections on this thread, are able to be tomboys, and generally appear less constricted in their manner of behaviour.. ..boys on the other hand are still expected to conform to strict gender roles... try being a 'sissy' boy and see how they get on.. ..in virtually all Abrahamic influenced, Western cultures and especially in Black, muslim and working class and Eastern European communities, you will hear some very sad stories of brutalisation, and ostracision of feminine male children who cannot conform to accepted gender roles for males... what these children will witness is considerable female privilege accorded to girls.. they quickly come to realise that life for them will be better as a girl, than as a boy..
If they are prevented from a social transition, they will become gender dysphoric which will result in a number of psychological and physical health issues.. one of which often reported is their refusal to use male bathrooms, so they stop eating and drinking during school, so they won't have to go, which results in dehydration and general malaise.. one of the worst side effects are stress disorders very similar to PTSD, and this can stay with them all their lives due to the precarious nature of their existence..
Transition, preferably as early as possible, will eventually solve most of these issues, always providing they can 'pass'.. as life as a heterosexual woman, which is their destination, will bring them rewards that are unattainable for them as males... hence, female privilege, as they see it..
This group of 'Trans' are totally unrelated to the 2nd group, sometimes referred to as 'late or elderly onset' 'transgender women' of whom you hear so much about today, as they control the Trans narrative, and are very aggressive about it, and will appear on t.v. as 'spokespersons'.. ... these are heterosexual males, former Transvestites, with an Auto-sexual, inward directed, disorder of their sexuality, and transition for entirely different reasons.. most of which they would rather you didn't know about.. Caitlyn Jenner is probably the best known personality of this group.. Laurel Hubbard the weightlifter [who doesn't even try] is another.. the late writer Jan Morris was also from this group.. they differ from the first group because they are not sexually inverted and conform to male gender roles.
Sorry if this sounds complicated. I use terms familiar to Sexologists..
At our local Dobbies there is a young person working in the cafe who actually wears a badge saying "I'm a boy". Lovely kid, and quite androgenous in appearance. At least they are able to make light of the situation. I suspect many others in that situation would cope so well.
Very interesting and informative posts @Marlorena; you are someone with direct knowledge of the issues. Speaking as another former tomboy who was always much happier in jeans than dresses and didn't like dolls; I liked being outside and making things best of all. There was a strong perception for me growing up in the 50s and 60s that boys had the better deal; more opportunities, better toys and more practical clothes. I knew I was a girl but kind of wanted to be a boy because they seemed to me to have more fun with fewer restrictions, not because I believed I was really male but because social mores of the time meant girls weren't supposed to do and like the things I wanted to do and like. When I wanted to do woodwork at school, they said no it was only for the boys. That wouldn't happen today thankfully. Teenage years meant an interest in boys, boyfriends etc and later marriage and children and I went on to work in the arts and also outside.
But I wonder how the current situation where non-binary, gender fluid, trans is seen as another variation of normal, affects the current tomboys. Are they persuaded, probably wrongly in many cases, that they are really males trapped in a female body? What happens to these girls these days? I don't know any girls like this now but I do have some concern for them, that perhaps some wrong decisions are taken, through persuasion, peer pressure and even encouragement by parents. I feel for them.
Based in Sussex, I garden to encourage as many birds to my garden as possible.
My grandmother, well over 100 years ago was allowed to do woodwork, when she asked if she could, at her school. I have a child's chair that she made, with carving on the backrest around her initials.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
I remember an interview with David Bowie when he said it was fashionable to be gay, even though you were straight, when homosexuality got you in the news. Straight guys were saying they were gay to sell records. The Goth scene is quite similar. Parents that try to change the gender of their children should be charged with child abuse in my opinion.
Posts
In terms of sexuality, I doubt there has been a time when same-sex attraction has been more accepted by society. So I think the idea that increasing numbers of trans children are avoiding confronting their sexuality is suspect. I don't think there's this calculation that goes on in people's heads that makes them decide to be trans. It's more a persistent deep seated sense of their gender identity which is at odds with their physical sex.
I think it's generally right to de-gender aspects of life where gender is an unnecessary. For example why are boys and girls' school uniforms gendered? I think this would make life less stressful for transgender teens, and also perhaps might make gender-nonconformity more acceptable, without that sense that if you don't 'fit in' you must be trans.
..boys on the other hand are still expected to conform to strict gender roles... try being a 'sissy' boy and see how they get on..
..in virtually all Abrahamic influenced, Western cultures and especially in Black, muslim and working class and Eastern European communities, you will hear some very sad stories of brutalisation, and ostracision of feminine male children who cannot conform to accepted gender roles for males... what these children will witness is considerable female privilege accorded to girls.. they quickly come to realise that life for them will be better as a girl, than as a boy..
Caitlyn Jenner is probably the best known personality of this group.. Laurel Hubbard the weightlifter [who doesn't even try] is another.. the late writer Jan Morris was also from this group.. they differ from the first group because they are not sexually inverted and conform to male gender roles.
Sorry if this sounds complicated. I use terms familiar to Sexologists..
But I wonder how the current situation where non-binary, gender fluid, trans is seen as another variation of normal, affects the current tomboys. Are they persuaded, probably wrongly in many cases, that they are really males trapped in a female body? What happens to these girls these days? I don't know any girls like this now but I do have some concern for them, that perhaps some wrong decisions are taken, through persuasion, peer pressure and even encouragement by parents. I feel for them.
The Goth scene is quite similar.
Parents that try to change the gender of their children should be charged with child abuse in my opinion.