Sadly, many of the men in positions of real power, are those to whom this isn't a real problem, or even worse condone the problem, however subliminally.
Yes, Steve's post earlier got me thinking about how important it is, for everyone, that we have systems that target abuse of power. Little chance of that with a govt busy dismantling any such systems already in place 😞😠
No problems Charlotte,he was like Wonkys, controlled every aspect, finally tried to poison me,got divorced,rest is history!! Long time ago.Oh, Charlotte, talking about power issues,my late parents were both born in the 1930s beaten by their parents for no good reason,swore I would never be smacked. I want to watch that documentary that was on in the week about young kids being excluded from school. Thankfully none of my kids have grown up violent, just the opposite in fact
I had a male friend who was raped, ended up in intensive care for 3 months with massive internal injuries and when it came to speaking to the police, all they said to him " well, that's the sort of thing you lot get up to" and it went no further.
I got to a point where I was fed up with trying to explain to people about how abusive relationships work. It isn't just physical, and it doesn't start out of the blue either - maybe the odd time, but the vast majority of the time it's starts with emotional abuse. Over time, you start to believe you're worthless. I'm not going into what I experienced. There are things which will go with me to my grave. I was just lucky that I didn't end up in the grave while I was with him.
I'm off to look at more 'cheering' threads now.
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
No, I'm not saying ignore it or don't do anything - what I am saying is that just repeatinjg what has been done or said before for millennia doesn't work obviously. If you're seriously telling me that every boy in this country isn't taught that it's wrong to be violent then I'm amazed. If you're telling me there's one adult who doesn't know that rape, theft, violence, abusive behaviour...etc is wrong, then I'm again amazed. They've all been taught that it's wrong. They know it's wrong. But it still persists doesn't it? Man (Shaun) doesn't appear to be capable of changing by learning. Surely this is brought home to everyone here by the fact that religion, that espouses peace and non violence, still to this day goes on violent,murderous crusades? How is that possible? Power has always dictated. Since Cain (other frozen chips are available - but only in Scotland) and Abel nasty things have happened and man has been at a total loss as to how to control them. On one hand they engender it - '..join the Army and see the world (and while you're there, kill a few people legally)...', and on the other it's slammed. If you do bad things with power on your side, it's fine. If you do the same thing without having power, you get put in prison. A banker can cause hardship to billions by fraud, a fraudster selling dodgy goods to a few gets six years. A king (for that read biggest thug with biggest stick) can send millions of to get killed and be killed and they're heroes. A man (not Shaun) stealing a cabbage to feed his family got transportation.
How do you stop nasty, violent behaviour - beyond my wit I'm afraid, but I do know that education doesn't appear to be the way. As everyone knows it's wrong already.
@Nanny Beach , good for your folks breaking the cycle. My granny (born 1930) did not, and my mum was regularly beaten. Mum made the same vow, but it's hard to unlearn these lessons, and I was smacked a handful of times. I lose my temper with my kids more than I'd like. I think we (as a society) underestimate how much formative experiences create adults who can cause harm, and how long it persists.
@Hostafan1 that's utterly horrific, and a shocking-yet-depressingly-predictable response from the police.
@punkdoc quite. It does feel like the world is run by maniacs at the moment. Perhaps it was ever thus.
@Fairygirl sending love. I'm going to go and find something nice to do too or I'm going to find myself in a dark pit of doom by the end of the day.
@steveTu I think it depends what you mean by education. It should be more than telling people things, and it doesn't only happen in schools. Discussion, questioning why we think what we think, etc in schools is helpful... but not popular amongst the kings you speak of; they don't want questioning citizens. I do think right now there are men and boys who don't know some things are wrong. Couzens was 'educated' that his attitudes to women were acceptable when the female officers around him weren't supported well enough to speak up about comments he made and male colleagues turned a blind eye. Once things that are quite wrong are made acceptable, a twisted mind makes very wrong things not so bad either.
Anyway, off to brighter things. Sorry for my finally 'showing my face' on this forum to all be about such misery!
Very true @Fairygirl. If we believe stereotypes then my six foot six black deadlocked husband is a threat and probably a gang member. He actually a kind, sensitive, intelligent gentleman. He has in the past been held by the police and questioned for so many hours he was left disorientated. An alibi is the only reason they didn't pin it in him. I don't and won't ever trust the police. I know there are some good ones, but trust must be earned.
I heard a story about my white, American grandad who was arrested for a payroll robbery. He was picked up by police because he regularly went to the shore to pick up driftwood for the fire to make the coal last longer. Times were hard back then. He was being fitted up. The managers who were robbed pointed him out, the police saw someone they thought could be bullied into confessing. Case closed everyone happy. Especially so because he was an American and there was still the GI bride prejudice going on then. Even if he got cleared he'd have been deported because of the arrest.
It all got sorted out his brother in law was a very senior police officer and Mason! The investigating officers bricked it, released him and destroyed all references to my grandad. They the investigated the case and the two robbed managers got a long prison sentence for it.
I do not compare that with your husband's situation as it was one situation, but there's a big issue with the homogeneity of the police force. They possibly see "others" with suspicion that they'd not see with one of their own. In my family's case I'm glad we had a senior copper in the family. My mother wouldn't be here and I wouldn't if he'd been fitted up. He was the outsider from police and wider society back then.
Plus I started reading half hour ago 2 pages back from new posts. I'm now 5 pages back! Can I have a nice, inconsequential complaint among all this heavy debate?
Can you please just slow down posting! You're going too fast!!!!! 😆
Posts
Totally different, but how is the world going to get any better with people like this around.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
Over time, you start to believe you're worthless.
I'm not going into what I experienced. There are things which will go with me to my grave.
I was just lucky that I didn't end up in the grave while I was with him.
I'm off to look at more 'cheering' threads now.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
@Hostafan1 that's utterly horrific, and a shocking-yet-depressingly-predictable response from the police.
@punkdoc quite. It does feel like the world is run by maniacs at the moment. Perhaps it was ever thus.
@Fairygirl sending love. I'm going to go and find something nice to do too or I'm going to find myself in a dark pit of doom by the end of the day.
@steveTu I think it depends what you mean by education. It should be more than telling people things, and it doesn't only happen in schools. Discussion, questioning why we think what we think, etc in schools is helpful... but not popular amongst the kings you speak of; they don't want questioning citizens. I do think right now there are men and boys who don't know some things are wrong. Couzens was 'educated' that his attitudes to women were acceptable when the female officers around him weren't supported well enough to speak up about comments he made and male colleagues turned a blind eye. Once things that are quite wrong are made acceptable, a twisted mind makes very wrong things not so bad either.
Anyway, off to brighter things. Sorry for my finally 'showing my face' on this forum to all be about such misery!
It all got sorted out his brother in law was a very senior police officer and Mason! The investigating officers bricked it, released him and destroyed all references to my grandad. They the investigated the case and the two robbed managers got a long prison sentence for it.
I do not compare that with your husband's situation as it was one situation, but there's a big issue with the homogeneity of the police force. They possibly see "others" with suspicion that they'd not see with one of their own. In my family's case I'm glad we had a senior copper in the family. My mother wouldn't be here and I wouldn't if he'd been fitted up. He was the outsider from police and wider society back then.
Plus I started reading half hour ago 2 pages back from new posts. I'm now 5 pages back! Can I have a nice, inconsequential complaint among all this heavy debate?
Can you please just slow down posting! You're going too fast!!!!! 😆
Moving on to less distressing moans, I hope.
feel free to carry on with CC 16 if you have more to share on this subject otherwise post on XVII😊
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