Thank you so much for those messages of support, and the presents of hugs and confidence. We all lose our Mums eventually, but it is always hard, and takes a good while to get over. It is perhaps a little easier for those of us with kids, although we want to share every little acheivement.
I love the idea of spring bulbs in time for Mother's Day next yr. Perhaps we could get back together in Oct to make our plans?
And a bit of news. I bought that car yesterday! Never told the boys, so Sean came in asking about it sitting on the drive, and asked me if it was Nanna's car, and did Poppa give it to us! He said it even smelled the same! A lot of wishful thinking there, but I did feel Mum as I drove away in it.(he forgot she had a new car before she died!) It passed the MOT on Mon, so she was there. And it is called Elly, my first niece's nick name! Meant to be? A messege from Mum? Hope it's ok, never got a mechanic to check it, but she drives like a dream and has hardly a mark for a 1999 model.
It was so lovely to hear more about your Mums, and your feelings about them after I whinged on. I feel so much less alone now, and much less need to pretend to be strong. I cried reading your replies, which was probably a healthy thing to do.
So let's all go with Mrs G's idea next yr, and celebrate our Mums with growing flowers from bulbs. It will remind us that when they are gone, they are still with us, in our hearts, souls and genes. And as the flowers grow every yr, and perhaps hybridize, that can remind us that our children carry a part of our Mums, too. My Sean has Mum's serene and happy temperament and outlook on life, while I and William are fiery and grumpy, but W is cautious in choosing friends, and wary. I jump in with both feet and get hurt later. I see Mum in both of them, but I only see her in the mirror, not in my temperament at all. I look like her, more every day. I wish I could act like her too.
What do you see of your Mums in yourselves or your kids? And what reminds you of her most, away from Mother's Day?
Gardenjeanie, how strange and lovely about the car! I lost my Mum when I was fourteen, she drove a cream Nissan sunny and for years whenever I saw one I'd think for a split second it was her. I don't think losing your Mum is something you ever truly get over, like you say, there is so much you'd like to share with her every day. My Mum was a keen gardener and I had no interest really at that age, it would be so lovely now to be be able to share this with her not to mention the children, I find it very bittersweet when I hear of a new mum, especially a first time mum whose mother has came to help her and I imagine her with my kids, they're missing out on so much not having her in their lives. She was gentle, calm, patient and kind and I wish I was more like her. I don't look like her really as I was adopted but strangely I look more like her than my birth mother. Your Mother's day was lovely, and your children sound wonderful, someone really special must have brought them up
G.Jeanie, your post made me cry too. I still have my mum and try to treasure her every day, of course one day I will look back and realise I never did enough. My OH says I get more like her everyday in manner. I also know some people who don't have a good relationship with their mothers and that must also be difficult even if it's their 'choice'.Last night I was busy looking at which daffodil varieties I want to grow for her next year.
Well I cried at all your posts too! Glad you bought the car gardenjeannie - we are thinking about changing the car my mum gave us the money to help buy, and she traveled in it once or twice with me to the hairdressers, and I got a pang thinking about that, but it is really too small since we started fostering, because you can only get four people into a Chevrolet Matiz, and there are five of us. Also, it's not that fuel efficient, and we want to get a Hyundai that does about 70mpg and has room for five, so I know my mum would have approved. She was not sentimental - more pragmatic, and tended to approve of most of my decisions!
I still feel her supporting me from a distance. Last winter I was going to give away her furniture to the British Heart Foundation, but they didn't want it, so I put it on Ebay. It turned out that the furniture was a design classic, and had a fair bit of value, despite looking very dated and 1950s/1960s, and we got some good money for it. When I checked that the sideboard was properly cleared out, I found a tiny photo of her, smiling up at me, caught under a cutlery drawer divider. It had been cut from a plastic ID card - maybe something they had on a holiday - I don't know. But that photo said 'don't give my furniture away for nothing - I've saved you from doing that'. I now keep it on my bedside table and talk to it from time to time. Her face seems so alive on it somehow - more so than other pictures.
I look like her when I lose weight, and more like my dad when I put it on! Having been on a diet since mid-Jan, I am starting to spot her in the mirror a good deal. My dad said he could recognise my mum in my son, and there are aspects of her in him. He is not sentimental either - has a tough exterior and a soft inside! But he is much more sure of himself than my mum ever was, and his tough exterior is a bit tougher and his soft inside takes some getting to. He is also a bit naughty and she was a proper good girl. But he is more like a part of her family than any of the other three grandparents' families, and relates to them more closely. He looks much more like his dad than me though - I really lost out in the gene pool - his friends have actually remarked on occasions on the fact that his mum doesn't look anything like him.
Ashleigh, your post reminds me of how lucky I was to have my mum for as long as I did. She was always a cup half full person, and would be telling me that at least she got to know her grandson, and 84 years was a 'good innings'. When I cry, I can hear her telling me gently to 'Come on - cheer up' and encouraging me to carry on. And Ashleigh, she would be telling you that at least you got to know and love your mum, which is a chance not everyone gets. I try to think like her, but I still find it hard at times.
Oh, i'm crying again! There is a picture of myself about 3 and I also have a picture of my mum about the same age, and we look very much alike. As i was growing up I thought I looked like my dad. But now when look in them mirror I see my mum looking back at me.
She was about 5ft tall, with kind mischievous eyes, and the most beautiful smile that I miss every day. She was kind, loving, patient and always there for me. I always felt loved, she didn't have to tell me. (Although of course she did) She listened and gave advice when I needed it and would do anything for anybody.
She loved gardening and could make anything grow from any cutting. I wish I could get some of the things to grow the same way she managed to.
I think of her every day and miss her as much now as I did when she first died 4yrs ago.
I'd give absolutely anything to spend just one more day with her. And could actually do with a hug and some words of advice from her right now.
So yes, later in the year we will all get something that flowers next spring. Although I do have some for-get-me-nots in the garden, she loved those. She also liked lily of the valley, well nearly all flowers really.
Hugs Lily, 4 years is very recent, you will always miss her but it will get easier. My Mum was very greenfingered too, I wish I'd paid more attention, she could have taught me so much. She was great with indoor plants as well, neighbours used to bring half dead things to her and she brought them back to health in her 'plant hospital' in the utility room.
Posts
Lily, BB and mrsgarden.
Thank you so much for those messages of support, and the presents of hugs and confidence. We all lose our Mums eventually, but it is always hard, and takes a good while to get over. It is perhaps a little easier for those of us with kids, although we want to share every little acheivement.
I love the idea of spring bulbs in time for Mother's Day next yr. Perhaps we could get back together in Oct to make our plans?
And a bit of news. I bought that car yesterday! Never told the boys, so Sean came in asking about it sitting on the drive, and asked me if it was Nanna's car, and did Poppa give it to us! He said it even smelled the same! A lot of wishful thinking there, but I did feel Mum as I drove away in it.(he forgot she had a new car before she died!) It passed the MOT on Mon, so she was there. And it is called Elly, my first niece's nick name! Meant to be? A messege from Mum? Hope it's ok, never got a mechanic to check it, but she drives like a dream and has hardly a mark for a 1999 model.
It was so lovely to hear more about your Mums, and your feelings about them after I whinged on. I feel so much less alone now, and much less need to pretend to be strong. I cried reading your replies, which was probably a healthy thing to do.
So let's all go with Mrs G's idea next yr, and celebrate our Mums with growing flowers from bulbs. It will remind us that when they are gone, they are still with us, in our hearts, souls and genes. And as the flowers grow every yr, and perhaps hybridize, that can remind us that our children carry a part of our Mums, too. My Sean has Mum's serene and happy temperament and outlook on life, while I and William are fiery and grumpy, but W is cautious in choosing friends, and wary. I jump in with both feet and get hurt later. I see Mum in both of them, but I only see her in the mirror, not in my temperament at all. I look like her, more every day. I wish I could act like her too.
What do you see of your Mums in yourselves or your kids? And what reminds you of her most, away from Mother's Day?
Gardenjeanie, how strange and lovely about the car! I lost my Mum when I was fourteen, she drove a cream Nissan sunny and for years whenever I saw one I'd think for a split second it was her. I don't think losing your Mum is something you ever truly get over, like you say, there is so much you'd like to share with her every day. My Mum was a keen gardener and I had no interest really at that age, it would be so lovely now to be be able to share this with her not to mention the children, I find it very bittersweet when I hear of a new mum, especially a first time mum whose mother has came to help her and I imagine her with my kids, they're missing out on so much not having her in their lives. She was gentle, calm, patient and kind and I wish I was more like her. I don't look like her really as I was adopted but strangely I look more like her than my birth mother. Your Mother's day was lovely, and your children sound wonderful, someone really special must have brought them up
G.Jeanie, your post made me cry too. I still have my mum and try to treasure her every day, of course one day I will look back and realise I never did enough. My OH says I get more like her everyday in manner. I also know some people who don't have a good relationship with their mothers and that must also be difficult even if it's their 'choice'.Last night I was busy looking at which daffodil varieties I want to grow for her next year.
Well I cried at all your posts too! Glad you bought the car gardenjeannie - we are thinking about changing the car my mum gave us the money to help buy, and she traveled in it once or twice with me to the hairdressers, and I got a pang thinking about that, but it is really too small since we started fostering, because you can only get four people into a Chevrolet Matiz, and there are five of us. Also, it's not that fuel efficient, and we want to get a Hyundai that does about 70mpg and has room for five, so I know my mum would have approved. She was not sentimental - more pragmatic, and tended to approve of most of my decisions!
I still feel her supporting me from a distance. Last winter I was going to give away her furniture to the British Heart Foundation, but they didn't want it, so I put it on Ebay. It turned out that the furniture was a design classic, and had a fair bit of value, despite looking very dated and 1950s/1960s, and we got some good money for it. When I checked that the sideboard was properly cleared out, I found a tiny photo of her, smiling up at me, caught under a cutlery drawer divider. It had been cut from a plastic ID card - maybe something they had on a holiday - I don't know. But that photo said 'don't give my furniture away for nothing - I've saved you from doing that'. I now keep it on my bedside table and talk to it from time to time. Her face seems so alive on it somehow - more so than other pictures.
I look like her when I lose weight, and more like my dad when I put it on! Having been on a diet since mid-Jan, I am starting to spot her in the mirror a good deal. My dad said he could recognise my mum in my son, and there are aspects of her in him. He is not sentimental either - has a tough exterior and a soft inside! But he is much more sure of himself than my mum ever was, and his tough exterior is a bit tougher and his soft inside takes some getting to. He is also a bit naughty and she was a proper good girl. But he is more like a part of her family than any of the other three grandparents' families, and relates to them more closely. He looks much more like his dad than me though - I really lost out in the gene pool - his friends have actually remarked on occasions on the fact that his mum doesn't look anything like him.
Ashleigh, your post reminds me of how lucky I was to have my mum for as long as I did. She was always a cup half full person, and would be telling me that at least she got to know her grandson, and 84 years was a 'good innings'. When I cry, I can hear her telling me gently to 'Come on - cheer up' and encouraging me to carry on. And Ashleigh, she would be telling you that at least you got to know and love your mum, which is a chance not everyone gets. I try to think like her, but I still find it hard at times.
Oh, i'm crying again! There is a picture of myself about 3 and I also have a picture of my mum about the same age, and we look very much alike. As i was growing up I thought I looked like my dad. But now when look in them mirror I see my mum looking back at me.
She was about 5ft tall, with kind mischievous eyes, and the most beautiful smile that I miss every day. She was kind, loving, patient and always there for me. I always felt loved, she didn't have to tell me. (Although of course she did) She listened and gave advice when I needed it and would do anything for anybody.
She loved gardening and could make anything grow from any cutting. I wish I could get some of the things to grow the same way she managed to.
I think of her every day and miss her as much now as I did when she first died 4yrs ago.
I'd give absolutely anything to spend just one more day with her. And could actually do with a hug and some words of advice from her right now.
So yes, later in the year we will all get something that flowers next spring. Although I do have some for-get-me-nots in the garden, she loved those. She also liked lily of the valley, well nearly all flowers really.
Hugs Lily, 4 years is very recent, you will always miss her but it will get easier. My Mum was very greenfingered too, I wish I'd paid more attention, she could have taught me so much. She was great with indoor plants as well, neighbours used to bring half dead things to her and she brought them back to health in her 'plant hospital' in the utility room.
Thank you Ashleigh, hugs to you too.
A very happy Mothers day to all mums. Hope you get spoilt.
Mrs G, did you remember to plant those seeds
Think of you every day, mum x
I haven't even got my mum something yet
she said don't get her anything , to a women mind that probably means get something nice or I get you a telling off
Happy Mothers day to all mums x