What a lovely thread, all of you. My Mum is not with me any more, but her favourite freesias are just poking up their noses in pots in the GH, and the Orchids that I put on her coffin in the Nov we lost her are still blooming, but about to go past thier peak.
I hope you all had a lovely day, Mother or child. I notice that only Marion posted about what she received.
Well, as my boys are only 11 and 6, I had a lovely day. My new partner arranged a card and present for me, with them, from 'Moon pig'. A lovely teddy and card. My 89 yr old neighbour asked her hairdresser to buy a card for my boys to write. And my 6 yo made one at school. He was great. While his elder brother swore him to secrecy, he was itching to give it to me on Friday, when he was told to wait 'til Sun. On Sat, he said, 'Mum, at Christmas, we open cards before Christmas Day, so why can't you have your card early?' Who can argue with that kind of logic? So I got a lovely card, early, back to front, in the best handwriting that he WILL NOT produce for his teacher, in lovely drawings and colourings, that again, HE WILL NOT DO AT SCHOOL, thanking me for feeding him and making him cups of tea (which I don't drink but he loves) with a spoken list of other things he loves me for but had no time to write at school. What a little love, and he is autistic. My eldest was in cahoots with the neighbour. She asked him to go into the village on the bus today to get her a paper, cos my tesco delivery was not necessary this wk (I normally order her a Sun paper) But in reality for him to get readt meals for the 2 of them so that I wouldn't have to cook. He even kept it secret until I came in from the garden to make their tea, then told me they had eaten already!
I was allowed to stay in my garden all day with very few interruptions, no arguments or sulks, with an hour extra (would have been longer if the streetlight outside was working), no cooking, and the boys had hours of fun with the old toddler trike that I have finally put out for the council to take ( that I thought was not good enough to give away at min 12 yrs old, might re-think that!)
They got themselves bathed, put out clean uniforms, brushed their teeth and have bags and shoes ready by the door for morning. By 8pm. TV etc turned off at wall. Gave me big hugs and kisses, and went to bed!!!! No Bother!!!! NO Nagging that means they stay up later! So they can do it. No More excuses. The downside is that the house is now a tip! Again. But they have proved that my nagging works, when I don't need to, and that if I am happy, I nag less and praise more.
And to top the lot, rain is forecast tomorrow, (Mon), but I have one of my most expensive dogs to groom tomorrow, who will take all day (but he's lovely), My boys are in the 50th anniversary school play, with eldest taking second lead, and the money from that dog should top off the fund to buy a car I am looking at, that, can you believe, although old, is almost the exact same model, yr and mileage as the car Mum loved most before we lost her. It's even the same colour. The only difference is that this one is a hatchback, which I need for the dogs, and Mum's was a saloon. It belongs to the boys' swimming instructor, so I know it is reliable, she doesn't want to part with it, but hubby wants a Jeep he has his eye on. I just hope it passes MOT later today. If it does, Mum really is still there, looking down on us. If it doesn't, then she still is, but wouldn't it be strange if I can get it I have looked at so many cars, but a chance conversation produced the possibility of a car just like Mum's. We have been carless for 2 yrs almost, now, but I never accepted that Mum was gone, before.
Sorry to go on. I have looked at so many cars, and asked so much advice. This car does not fit all of my criteria, but I will be gutted if it fails the MOT. Mum or sentimentality? This is the first yr in 12 that I have been a mother, that I have really thought that this day belongs to me. But My Mum, and my Nanna are still there. They still watch over my boys (which I say to sooth them), but I think I must still believe that, a little, at least. Mum chose a star to be my Nanna's when she died, for my younger siblings. Even then, I wanted to believe. It was only the North Star, easy to find, very bright, but my boys really believe that it has got brighter since my Mum, their Nanna, died. It has, in a way. We have moved to an area with less light pollution, so many stars are easier to find.
Anyway, enough about us. It seems that this thread has mostly,been about missing Mums, as you started it, Lily. I am so sorry to hijack. No-one other than Marion was recipient rather than giver. And no-one appeared to be both Mum and missing Mum. If I have upset anyone with the great day I had, I am sorry. But when I lost My Mum, I tried to kill myself. I have been very lucky to keep those boys who made my day such a happy one yesterday, and only then because it was a toss-up between two bad parents, and he got convicted for domestic violence, twice. I still have SS help, but 6 months of their help can never match one gentle bollocking from my quiet ladylike MUM. I can never describe how much I miss her. But I HAVE to be MUM or Nanna now. There is no-one else. I can never live up to My Mum Or Nanna. But I have to try.
Lily, your post has done more for me than anything psychiatrists can. I WILL get off my arse more to support my family instead of strangers. If I'm missing Mum, it is maybe worse for myyounger siblings.
And with ref to an earlier post, I must admit to having had a lot to drink, but am definately not 'maudlin'! , just perhaps,too caring
Oh Gardenjeannie, you haven't hijacked this thread at all. It was for everyone that wanted to post.
I too have two boys, and they gave a lovely day too. I got flowers and money from one and a rhodie and money from the other. I'm going to buy something for the garden with the money, just not sure what yet. They also took myself and my OH out for a meal with thier other halves. We had a lovely day together. But there were many times during the day I thought of my mum, and I miss her very much.
I'm
so glad you had a very special day with your boys gardenjeannie, and what lovely boys they sound. A day you can treasure and lovely memories for years to come. Your story is sad too and I had tears in my eyes reading it.
You were up late, and I am up early, this hour change seems to have messed up my body clock. I hope you're feeling ok now gardenjeannie, hugs and very best wishes Lilly x
gardenjeannie, thank you sharing your heart and experiences with us. I still thankfully have my mum. Your mum and nanna will be looking down from the stars with joy at what a lovely mum you are to your boys, they will be so proud of you. All mums want to live up to their own mums after all my mum will always be the best mum in the world and so will yours. For 12 years you have been too, and you are the best mum in the world to those boys. If I could wrap you a gift I would sent you strength and the confidence to see what a wonderful person you are.
Reading this thread, and some messages on my Facebook, has been very reassuring because sometimes on Mothers' Day, you can feel so alone in that you don't have a mum to spoil, but lots of other people are in the same boat. I remember the first Christmas after my mum died, I was shopping, and there were mothers and grown up daughters going round the shops together, excitedly planning their Christmas together, and mine wasn't there. I just started crying in M & S.
My favourite Mother's Day memory is in 1998, when I turned up unexpected (I liked to do that occasionally to surprise my parents, who lived 200 miles away), and announced that I was due to have a baby in November. My mum was deaf, and I pointed to a magazine cover picture of some sextuplets that happened to be sitting on the kitchen table, and mouthed 'I'm having one of them!' She was over the moon.
Last week, a friend of mine, who is much younger than me, told me that her mum had died and she was only 64. My friend will have felt very lost yesterday. I will send her a message today to say I was thinking about her. We were talking about it, and I said that when my mum died, part of the meaning went out of my life. I always wanted to make her happy with my achievements, and would have loved to show her the garden now, and the new greenhouse. I just have to hope that somehow, somewhere, she can see it, and my dad too. Our foster children had made me some lovely things, but my hopelessly self-absorbed teenage son forgot, and hastily made a card on the computer. He has said he will buy me a plant. I won't hold my breath. Just have to hope that he gets better when he's older. I never forgot Mother's Day, and he and I are very close, so I don't think it's a judgement on my mothering.
And in case, anyone ever wondered what I look like, I will change my avatar to the picture our foster son painted of me. It's pretty accurate!!
I have decided I will plant some special and unusual daffodil bulbs which will hopefully flower at the right time! I like 'pink pride' at the moment, if a more lilac shade is available I'll go for that as it's mum's favourite colour.
Here's to another mild spring next year so that they are just right for you on 15 March Mrs. G! I have been struck by the scent of the daffs in our garden today. Funny that it is not something I have ever thought about, but I love scented things, so might look out for some heavily scented varieties for next year . I think that is a lovely idea for turning what could be a sad day into a cause for celebration.
Posts
What a lovely thread, all of you. My Mum is not with me any more, but her favourite freesias are just poking up their noses in pots in the GH, and the Orchids that I put on her coffin in the Nov we lost her are still blooming, but about to go past thier peak.
I hope you all had a lovely day, Mother or child. I notice that only Marion posted about what she received.
Well, as my boys are only 11 and 6, I had a lovely day. My new partner arranged a card and present for me, with them, from 'Moon pig'. A lovely teddy and card. My 89 yr old neighbour asked her hairdresser to buy a card for my boys to write. And my 6 yo made one at school. He was great. While his elder brother swore him to secrecy, he was itching to give it to me on Friday, when he was told to wait 'til Sun. On Sat, he said, 'Mum, at Christmas, we open cards before Christmas Day, so why can't you have your card early?' Who can argue with that kind of logic? So I got a lovely card, early, back to front, in the best handwriting that he WILL NOT produce for his teacher, in lovely drawings and colourings, that again, HE WILL NOT DO AT SCHOOL, thanking me for feeding him and making him cups of tea (which I don't drink but he loves) with a spoken list of other things he loves me for but had no time to write at school. What a little love, and he is autistic. My eldest was in cahoots with the neighbour. She asked him to go into the village on the bus today to get her a paper, cos my tesco delivery was not necessary this wk (I normally order her a Sun paper) But in reality for him to get readt meals for the 2 of them so that I wouldn't have to cook. He even kept it secret until I came in from the garden to make their tea, then told me they had eaten already!
I was allowed to stay in my garden all day with very few interruptions, no arguments or sulks, with an hour extra (would have been longer if the streetlight outside was working
), no cooking, and the boys had hours of fun with the old toddler trike that I have finally put out for the council to take ( that I thought was not good enough to give away at min 12 yrs old, might re-think that!)
They got themselves bathed, put out clean uniforms, brushed their teeth and have bags and shoes ready by the door for morning. By 8pm. TV etc turned off at wall. Gave me big hugs and kisses, and went to bed!!!! No Bother!!!!
NO Nagging that means they stay up later! So they can do it. No More excuses. The downside is that the house is now a tip! Again. But they have proved that my nagging works, when I don't need to, and that if I am happy, I nag less and praise more.
And to top the lot, rain is forecast tomorrow, (Mon), but I have one of my most expensive dogs to groom tomorrow, who will take all day (but he's lovely), My boys are in the 50th anniversary school play, with eldest taking second lead, and the money from that dog should top off the fund to buy a car I am looking at, that, can you believe, although old, is almost the exact same model, yr and mileage as the car Mum loved most before we lost her. It's even the same colour. The only difference is that this one is a hatchback, which I need for the dogs, and Mum's was a saloon. It belongs to the boys' swimming instructor, so I know it is reliable, she doesn't want to part with it, but hubby wants a Jeep he has his eye on. I just hope it passes MOT later today. If it does, Mum really is still there, looking down on us. If it doesn't, then she still is, but wouldn't it be strange if I can get it I have looked at so many cars, but a chance conversation produced the possibility of a car just like Mum's. We have been carless for 2 yrs almost, now, but I never accepted that Mum was gone, before.
Sorry to go on. I have looked at so many cars, and asked so much advice. This car does not fit all of my criteria, but I will be gutted if it fails the MOT. Mum or sentimentality? This is the first yr in 12 that I have been a mother, that I have really thought that this day belongs to me. But My Mum, and my Nanna are still there. They still watch over my boys (which I say to sooth them), but I think I must still believe that, a little, at least. Mum chose a star to be my Nanna's when she died, for my younger siblings. Even then, I wanted to believe. It was only the North Star, easy to find, very bright, but my boys really believe that it has got brighter since my Mum, their Nanna, died. It has, in a way. We have moved to an area with less light pollution, so many stars are easier to find.
Anyway, enough about us. It seems that this thread has mostly,been about missing Mums, as you started it, Lily. I am so sorry to hijack. No-one other than Marion was recipient rather than giver. And no-one appeared to be both Mum and missing Mum. If I have upset anyone with the great day I had, I am sorry. But when I lost My Mum, I tried to kill myself. I have been very lucky to keep those boys who made my day such a happy one yesterday, and only then because it was a toss-up between two bad parents, and he got convicted for domestic violence, twice. I still have SS help, but 6 months of their help can never match one gentle bollocking from my quiet ladylike MUM. I can never describe how much I miss her. But I HAVE to be MUM or Nanna now. There is no-one else. I can never live up to My Mum Or Nanna. But I have to try.
Lily, your post has done more for me than anything psychiatrists can. I WILL get off my arse more to support my family instead of strangers. If I'm missing Mum, it is maybe worse for myyounger siblings.
And with ref to an earlier post, I must admit to having had a lot to drink, but am definately not 'maudlin'! , just perhaps,too caring
Oh Gardenjeannie, you haven't hijacked this thread at all. It was for everyone that wanted to post.
I too have two boys, and they gave a lovely day too. I got flowers and money from one and a rhodie and money from the other. I'm going to buy something for the garden with the money, just not sure what yet. They also took myself and my OH out for a meal with thier other halves. We had a lovely day together. But there were many times during the day I thought of my mum, and I miss her very much.
I'm
so glad you had a very special day with your boys gardenjeannie, and what lovely boys they sound. A day you can treasure and lovely memories for years to come. Your story is sad too and I had tears in my eyes reading it.
You were up late, and I am up early, this hour change seems to have messed up my body clock. I hope you're feeling ok now gardenjeannie, hugs and very best wishes Lilly x
Reading this thread, and some messages on my Facebook, has been very reassuring because sometimes on Mothers' Day, you can feel so alone in that you don't have a mum to spoil, but lots of other people are in the same boat. I remember the first Christmas after my mum died, I was shopping, and there were mothers and grown up daughters going round the shops together, excitedly planning their Christmas together, and mine wasn't there. I just started crying in M & S.
My favourite Mother's Day memory is in 1998, when I turned up unexpected (I liked to do that occasionally to surprise my parents, who lived 200 miles away), and announced that I was due to have a baby in November. My mum was deaf, and I pointed to a magazine cover picture of some sextuplets that happened to be sitting on the kitchen table, and mouthed 'I'm having one of them!' She was over the moon.
Last week, a friend of mine, who is much younger than me, told me that her mum had died and she was only 64. My friend will have felt very lost yesterday. I will send her a message today to say I was thinking about her. We were talking about it, and I said that when my mum died, part of the meaning went out of my life. I always wanted to make her happy with my achievements, and would have loved to show her the garden now, and the new greenhouse. I just have to hope that somehow, somewhere, she can see it, and my dad too. Our foster children had made me some lovely things, but my hopelessly self-absorbed teenage son forgot, and hastily made a card on the computer. He has said he will buy me a plant. I won't hold my breath. Just have to hope that he gets better when he's older. I never forgot Mother's Day, and he and I are very close, so I don't think it's a judgement on my mothering.
And in case, anyone ever wondered what I look like, I will change my avatar to the picture our foster son painted of me. It's pretty accurate!!
I know what you look like now Busybee!
2015 Mother's Day will fall on Sunday 15th March.
I have decided I will plant some special and unusual daffodil bulbs which will hopefully flower at the right time! I like 'pink pride' at the moment, if a more lilac shade is available I'll go for that as it's mum's favourite colour.
Forward thinking MrsG!
Here's to another mild spring next year so that they are just right for you on 15 March Mrs. G! I have been struck by the scent of the daffs in our garden today. Funny that it is not something I have ever thought about, but I love scented things, so might look out for some heavily scented varieties for next year
. I think that is a lovely idea for turning what could be a sad day into a cause for celebration.