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Elderly Parents Garden

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  • bédébédé Posts: 3,095
    edited June 2023

    CatDouch said:
    As usual @bede has to put a dampener on things!

     What was a lovely positive thread has been contaminated by your addition. 

    No, not a dampener, but a realistic summary of what is needed.

    The other posts were all saccharine, but that is what you requested.  Faced with with reports of how lovely their garden is, will make future handlinhg of a tricky situation more difficult.

    I had forgotten your request for me not to answer your queries.  I can't promise not to forget continually.

    You need a serious review of future scenarios.  Things do not get easier after mid-80s; and things can go suddenly wrong overnight.  You need to dump all sentimentality, especially yours.  A house is just a machine for living.  A garden is just a hobby and a space for living.

    Do the have Wills, and Powers of Attorney?
    Do they have a plan for garden maintenance and a budget if/when things become more difficult?
    Could they access their garden in a wheelchair/invalid buggy?
    And many, many more ...
     location: Surrey Hills, England, ex-woodland acidic sand.
    "Have nothing in your garden that you don't know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."
  • TopbirdTopbird Posts: 8,355
    NO @bédé that is NOT what is needed or requested.

    This was not a thread asking how the garden could be made easier to manage or if any changes should be made. The thread is asking what people think of how the garden looks now.

    The OP's father was having doubts that he'd maybe let the garden 'go' a little. We were merely reassuring him that he hadn't - that's all.
    Heaven is ... sitting in the garden with a G&T and a cat while watching the sun go down
  • Nanny BeachNanny Beach Posts: 8,719
    edited June 2023
    Thanks Topbird. I agree there was no requests for help.certain other posters are practically picking coffins! Not everyone declines,my immediate neighbours fifties do nothing,next door to them each way,80s well into 90s. They do have their front lawn cut. I will be honest,they had the paving removed,grass laid 2018 in the summer, which promptly died. I wondered why they didn't leave the perfectly nice paving, especially as gardeners here are like hens teeth and expensive. Some walk with sticks, (one is in his 50s, walks with 2,so many replacements,he's practically bionic, but neither do anything in the garden) some have had strokes, cardiac surgery, but they all are gardeners. It's lovely to walk along with the dog,chat to folk doing their garden. Hate to say it...it's the younger people in our road with the messy gardens. You know I posted years ago on here,if you hate gardening,why buy a place with a big one. Youngest daughter hates gardening (I know, I know,think she was swapped at birth) so renting a Victorian house,bang in town with a tiny paved courtyard.
  • CatDouchCatDouch Posts: 488
    🤔 ohh @bede is there something called a Will? Or Power of Attorney? How does that work?  We really had no idea 🤣🤣🤣

    Thanks again everyone, my parents are feeling very grateful for all the lovely comments 😊
    South Devon 
  • GardenerSuzeGardenerSuze Posts: 5,692
    edited June 2023
    @Bede Your garden is a hobby as you point out for others it is a place to rest and be tranquil. To unwind forget the cares of the day. Deal with stress and anxiety. For children to play. To remember happy times but most of all to share something you like to do without question from others.
    Keep your non gardening thoughts to yourself no one is interested. 
    I have worked as a Gardener for 24 years. My latest garden is a new build garden on heavy clay.
  • bédébédé Posts: 3,095
    edited June 2023
    Keep your non gardening thoughts to yourself no one is interested. 
    Have you counted?  I write for everybody not just the poster, if one person gets something out of it that is good enough for me.  If nobody, it was worth a try.

    There are more than simple gardening issues that bug older people.

     location: Surrey Hills, England, ex-woodland acidic sand.
    "Have nothing in your garden that you don't know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."
  • punkdocpunkdoc Posts: 15,039
    .
    How can you lie there and think of England
    When you don't even know who's in the team

    S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
  • AuntyRachAuntyRach Posts: 5,291
    I’ve only just seen this. 
    A fabulous garden - the shape, the plants and the style. I love how your eye is drawn down the garden and there are little treasures to see on the way. 
    It is even more remarkable knowing that older adults have created and tended to it. 

    ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
    My garden and I live in South Wales. 
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