I was fortunate enough to be able to choose who I worked for when I was a gardener. To find a good gardener you must be prepared to meet them half way. I could never have worked for someone who had a negative approach to their garden. It is very much a two way thing the more you give as the garden owner the more your gardener will respond and help you. Creativity comes from this kind of relationship. A gardener who enjoys what they are doing will always work hard for you.
I have worked as a Gardener for 24 years. My latest garden is a new build garden on heavy clay.
There will be many of us who sympathise with you. I am ancient now, began gardening at the age of 5yrs. with my own patch, encouraged by my Dad. Now in my 80@s and coping with all the aches, pains and immobility that come with the years. It grieves me not to be able to do what, in my head I know and think, should be done. I hate anyone doing anything in my garden, tried a couple of self-advertised gardeners with disasterous results. One proudly "saved and planted one of my plants" in a wall. It was an enormous thistle! I did ask one local gardener who had their own Gardening Centre and spoke on local radio every week, but she was quite shocked at the suggestion she might have to actually do the gardening for me. She would only act as a consultant, with contractors to do the manual work, at an exorbitant cost. Knowledge is power. I now do what I can in short spells, plenty of breaks and cuppas and thinking outside the box for solutions to problems. My sack trolley is a godsend to all sorts of lifting and moving jobs. The garden is in the worse state it has ever been because for the last 2 years I have been coping with long covid, mercifully, that seems to be subsiding. It is in your head that the adjustments have to be made. I have lost so many plants in the last few years so decided not to replace them, a sad goodbye but that is life. Sharing your garden with someone is a compromise worth considering. Give plenty of thought to what changes you could comfortably make, access, possibly make the changes in small steps, how much space you want to keep for yourself etc. Getting old is not nice, there is nothing we can do about it except try to be cheerful and not grumpy. Try not to be negative, people on these forums will come up with lots of ideas. Be open minded and think about each one carefully before dismissing them out of hand. Good luck.
@Joyce Goldenlily I totally understand what you are saying as it won't be long and my garden will also be too much for me. I have the advantage of seeing the situation from both sides. We will always hear about the gardeners that are hopeless, expensive or both.
I have heard people show off to others by saying 'I have a gardener'. It can make you feel like you are owned by them rather than an equal. Also being left just to get on with it is very disillusioning. A few minutes to discuss what the plan of action is for the day is always welcome. If you are a garden owner with alot of knowledge share this with your gardener in a kind and caring way.
I worked for one lady for over twenty years she made me feel an important part of her life, because her life had always been her garden. She once told me that she felt like we shared her garden together. She made a photo album of all her plants and asked me to name them. Page one was a photo of me in her garden. I often walk past there and remember the happy times we shared.
I have worked as a Gardener for 24 years. My latest garden is a new build garden on heavy clay.
@Dovefromabove I am sure she does. You can arrive home very tired but knowing what you have achieved is very rewarding. At it's very best working as a gardener is the envy of many professionals who's jobs are full of stress.
I have worked as a Gardener for 24 years. My latest garden is a new build garden on heavy clay.
I had a gardener for a while in Belgium after needing some reconstruction work on both feet and was severly restricted both in mobility and footwear in spring when I really neede dto get out there and get on top of things. She'd spent years working in a nursery before going independent and knew a lot about plants.
She loved my British take on varieties and combinations and we made a good partership. When she was weeding she'd bring me seedlings or off shoots to pot up and we'd share the proceeds which meant she had plants to spare for her own garden and other clients. She'd also bring me plants in exchange.
A treasure. When we sold the house to move here she had first pick of plants and also garden and shed pots and kit that I wasn't bringing with me.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
I recognise that you were making your point with a sarcastic bent .If I were you and you want to keep it neat ,invest in a ride on mower ,great fun ,and put your more precious plants into pots .That will keep it garden like .I have awful trouble so can sympathise,having to cope with 50 years of type 1 diabetes which has given me kidney and heart failure and now arthritis,breathlessness etc etc .Just do what you can when you can and don’t be downhearted .Just re think it ,and without sounding too Pollyanna about it ,it’ll all come good .
I'm fast approaching retirement age, I have a 7.6 acre garden which I look after singlehandedly , apart from one day a few weeks back, I've never had any help , but when it becomes " a millstone " I'll put the house on the market and move . Seems perfectly simple
Struggling to empathize to be honest, you come over as a whining bigot. Learn to be grateful for what you have.
I think that is a bit hard. I don't think @whiteheadmg comes across as a whining bigot, she is asking for help.
I starting making my big garden in 1990 and enjoyed it, but I sold my house and garden in January last year. It was quite distressing at the time, especially as a couple of my children were sad about it, but I am so glad I sold it now. I have a new cottage and a new blank canvas garden which I have enjoyed making into a new garden that isn't too much for me.
Otherwise, if you don't want to sell, just keep the garden around the house and leave the rest to be a wild garden. Have a fence put around the bit you want to keep then the wild bit won't just feel like your neglected garden.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
Posts
It grieves me not to be able to do what, in my head I know and think, should be done. I hate anyone doing anything in my garden, tried a couple of self-advertised gardeners with disasterous results. One proudly "saved and planted one of my plants" in a wall. It was an enormous thistle! I did ask one local gardener who had their own Gardening Centre and spoke on local radio every week, but she was quite shocked at the suggestion she might have to actually do the gardening for me. She would only act as a consultant, with contractors to do the manual work, at an exorbitant cost. Knowledge is power.
I now do what I can in short spells, plenty of breaks and cuppas and thinking outside the box for solutions to problems. My sack trolley is a godsend to all sorts of lifting and moving jobs. The garden is in the worse state it has ever been because for the last 2 years I have been coping with long covid, mercifully, that seems to be subsiding.
It is in your head that the adjustments have to be made. I have lost so many plants in the last few years so decided not to replace them, a sad goodbye but that is life.
Sharing your garden with someone is a compromise worth considering. Give plenty of thought to what changes you could comfortably make, access, possibly make the changes in small steps, how much space you want to keep for yourself etc.
Getting old is not nice, there is nothing we can do about it except try to be cheerful and not grumpy.
Try not to be negative, people on these forums will come up with lots of ideas. Be open minded and think about each one carefully before dismissing them out of hand.
Good luck.
I have heard people show off to others by saying 'I have a gardener'. It can make you feel like you are owned by them rather than an equal. Also being left just to get on with it is very disillusioning. A few minutes to discuss what the plan of action is for the day is always welcome. If you are a garden owner with alot of knowledge share this with your gardener in a kind and caring way.
I worked for one lady for over twenty years she made me feel an important part of her life, because her life had always been her garden. She once told me that she felt like we shared her garden together. She made a photo album of all her plants and asked me to name them. Page one was a photo of me in her garden. I often walk past there and remember the happy times we shared.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
She loved my British take on varieties and combinations and we made a good partership. When she was weeding she'd bring me seedlings or off shoots to pot up and we'd share the proceeds which meant she had plants to spare for her own garden and other clients. She'd also bring me plants in exchange.
A treasure. When we sold the house to move here she had first pick of plants and also garden and shed pots and kit that I wasn't bringing with me.
Seems perfectly simple
I starting making my big garden in 1990 and enjoyed it, but I sold my house and garden in January last year. It was quite distressing at the time, especially as a couple of my children were sad about it, but I am so glad I sold it now. I have a new cottage and a new blank canvas garden which I have enjoyed making into a new garden that isn't too much for me.
Otherwise, if you don't want to sell, just keep the garden around the house and leave the rest to be a wild garden. Have a fence put around the bit you want to keep then the wild bit won't just feel like your neglected garden.