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Gardening can become millstone

whiteheadmgwhiteheadmg Posts: 5
in Problem solving
I was 15 years younger when i planned out my half acre garden. Now I’m am suffering from old age, aches and pains from being a self-employed painter and decorator for the last 40 years,  a meagre state pension and massive anxiety as i watch my lovely garden get away from me.  I did try to employ some help but the ‘gardener’ turned out to be lazy and incompetent and very expensive! 
Monty keeps banging on about gardening being so good for our mental wellbeing but I do wish he would understand that we don’t all have his money and the help that this can buy. 
Sadly I’m white English and not disabled so I don’t qualify for ANY help from all these new garden ‘rescue’ programmes are offering.
My husband and I built the house from scratch so we really don’t want to leave just because the garden is becoming a millstone. Any advice? 
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Posts

  • PalustrisPalustris Posts: 4,307
    edited August 2022
    Tell us about it. We did the same, created a fabulous garden on just under an acre. It fed us for 20 years or so as well. Then we no longer could manage it and could not bear to sit and watch it go back to field, so we moved. Very hard and very upsetting at the time. However, where we are now is perfect for us. The garden is enough to give us somewhere to play, but not so big that it daunts. It can be done, just take your time and look very carefully at any new property. Oh and good luck!
  • ObelixxObelixx Posts: 30,090
    If you can't orwon't leave the house, simplify the garden to make it lower maintenance.   Prioritise perennials and shrubs over annuals.    Mulch to reduce weeds as well as improving soil fertility and moisture retention. 

    Do a bit each day when weather permits.  It beats doing housework tho that is also a necessity.
    Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
    "The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
    Plato
  • nutcutletnutcutlet Posts: 27,445
    edited August 2022
    I'm doing much as Pansyface. We all get old and most of us have to deal with it all ourselves. It's been a hard summer and I've probably lost some of my newly planted, potentially ground covering large shrubs. 2 acres here, maintained as little as possible and lots of wildlife. 


    In the sticks near Peterborough
  • MikeOxgreenMikeOxgreen Posts: 812
    whiteheadmg said:
    I was 15 years younger when i planned out my half acre garden. Now I’m am suffering from old age, aches and pains from being a self-employed painter and decorator for the last 40 years,  a meagre state pension and massive anxiety as i watch my lovely garden get away from me.  I did try to employ some help but the ‘gardener’ turned out to be lazy and incompetent and very expensive! 
    Monty keeps banging on about gardening being so good for our mental wellbeing but I do wish he would understand that we don’t all have his money and the help that this can buy. 
    Sadly I’m white English and not disabled so I don’t qualify for ANY help from all these new garden ‘rescue’ programmes are offering.
    My husband and I built the house from scratch so we really don’t want to leave just because the garden is becoming a millstone. Any advice? 
    Probably not the best of starts to blame others for your short-sightedness. If I were you i'd apologise for not coming across in the best way and ask for folks advice.
    You're not on your own in having this problem, thousands of others have it so there will be lots of helpful advice if you ask properly.
  • raisingirlraisingirl Posts: 7,093
    It can be overwhelming and depressing. Adapting the design to match your ability rather than your ambition, or a picture you've got in your head as to what a garden 'should' look like may relieve some of the stress. I 'garden' less than a quarter of my 2 acre space, with shrubs and perennials, a few pots and a very small lawn as well as a veg patch that gets most of my limited attention. The rest of it is largely wild, with a couple of mown paths we can walk to admire the constantly changing wild flowers, insects, birds and other creatures that live here with us. Having learned to 'let it go' (as the song says), I've found a genuine enjoyment from NOT gardening some of the land.
    Gardening on the edge of Exmoor, in Devon

    “It's still magic even if you know how it's done.” 
  • FireFire Posts: 19,096
    I do tend to think that gardening should be a joy or it becomes a chore - and how we keep it joyful is a good question. I think this needs constant review - what kind of planning, re-design, help, fellowship, letting go, is needed?

    For myself I wonder about sizing up (not down). I always wonder how I would cope with a  larger space and for how long I could nurture it with health problems. Changes, changes....
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