Trouble is, flagging something as spam when it isn't really spam is equally bad. It could end up with everyone flagging everyone else and then where would we be?
Doncaster, South Yorkshire. Soil type: sandy, well-drained
@JoeX.......if people could follow their own advice, why would they ask for someone else's?
I think we’re misunderstanding each other Slippery, but I’m not sure how I haven’t suggested people follow their own advice, I’ve said that they can read a thread and decide whose advice to follow based on the merits and demerits as they see fit. That’s how I see forums working, as a place for discussion.
The advice given by this person is mostly incorrect. They seem to be about 15 years old and very very silly. Mature people don’t talk about dog poo and bee babies and pet squirrels. I am hoping she will get bored or get help but either way get off this forum where she is upsetting people who already have enough on their plates.
I've been following all this, and wondering how to be helpful.
I find there is a lot of goodwill on this forum, and, thinking out loud here, I've also been wondering if there is a misunderstanding of different ways of being human going on here...
Specifically, there are some subtle behavioral norms here, as in all communities, which are generally not stated clearly, but which operate powerfully, for example:
-Make your first few posts relatively humble
-Be open about what you don't know
-Avoid posting about things you don't know about
-Primarily only post advice arising from years of personal experience
-Don't share advice which you only have from other sources
-Name your sources
...to name a few
These kind of behavioural norms generally work well with how my brain works, but they don't work for how everybody's brains work. For example - many people will simply respond with what they know about a topic or question, and will include information from a wide range of available sources.
We may want (and it is usually useful to the OP) to specifically flag corrections to the content,
There is, however, a real danger that one might give the message that it is not ok for other people to process or relate with information that is different to our way. This is particularly problematic if one is directing this towards anyone who processes information in ways which are less supported in the mainstream. It's likely to lead to confusion, shame, outrage, outburst etc etc which people get hurt or activated by - the more mainstream community then responds with condemnation to the outburst, confirming the norms, and further marginalizing those different to the mainstream group.
It feels to me like difficult territory to navigate gracefully and helpfully...
It does feel a little unsafe to not have stronger moderation here, and I also see a lot of effort and thought put into this forum to be the best we can be towards each other, which I deeply appreciate.
...and now to go and check the veg bed for slugs - the garden is so much less complicated than human relations!
@stephentame I think you're bang on the money there. You've articulated perfectly the vague feelings I had about what was going on! Some of the social norms here are peculiarly British as well; I do wonder if there's a bit of culture clash at play especially with regard to humility.
Posts
Fabrication.....not so healthy or helpful?
This was my 'happy place'.