I don’t understand the inheritance laws fully, and I hesitate to comment, but I must say my instinct is the same as yours @D0rdogne_Damsel ... and I rather hope (in fact I know) that if I were in that situation my children would be urging us to do the same, and they are nothing like ‘comfortably established’ yet. It seems so wrong that when you’ve found someone whose company makes you happy, that you should have to spend so much time apart, especially when the time allotted to us is getting shorter. ((hugs)). Is there nothing that can be done to improve the situation?
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Morning everyone, it's getting a bit groundhog day weather wise, we need rain. Hoping to finally get the glass saga on the Allotment sorted. I usually avoid the plots on a Sunday, too busy even in normal times. Have a good day all.
@D0rdogne_Damsel and @Dovefromabove it is a lot to do with inheritance laws in France, OH has a stepdaughter who isn't recognised in France and would have to pay 60% tax on what he leaves her so he wants to live in England and he feels at home in England. He moved to France for his wife when she retired but she died 3 years later. It took him 6 years to sell his French house and he met me in the meantime so his move back was delayed. From my side, I've been here since 1985. When 1st OH died part of his share of our huge, isolated French house went to my children and they didn't want to sell it. Then, eventually, they said they would agree that it was sold but a couple of them said on condition I didn't move to England. I also have a French pension from 1st OH which I will lose if I remarry. 1st OH didn't want me to work so I stopped when the children arrived. My own pension is small. 2nd OH has a pension but he worked for an American computer firm for years and when he left they stole all the employers' contributions and the right for a widow's pension. I couldn't manage financially if he died years before me, he's 10 years older than me.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
That all sounds very difficult and a bit sad @Busylizzie ... I know that my children are only too relieved that I have someone other than them that I can depend on, and that they can trust to look after me should I need it. When they see the difficulties some of their friends with aging single/widowed parents are having, they thank their lucky stars that they need not feel responsible for my day to day emotional and physical well-being. I do hope that you and OH will be together again very soon ... my fingers are very crossed for you.
Good morning @Allotment boy ... I've seen some allotments on a Sunday that have something of Brighton beach on a Bank Holiday Take a flask and hide in the shed.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Your OH is younger than you @Dovefromabove. My children probably think that I will be looking after my OH rather than the other way round.
Just been outside, it's a lovely day, I may paint furniture in the open barn and I may tidy up and thin out the nearly over celandine in the raised bed under the lime tree and plant the cyclamen I bought then forgot about.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
Sunny and very windy today....and cold! Planted out some celery plants that had sprung up in the gravel path. Pulled up the plastic tunnel and picked the last lettuce.
@Busy-Lizzie Yep - exactly the same here. You could have told my story down to the last sentence. A prisoner of the Napoleonic laws which changed a bit in 2015 but too late for me (and you). Here in France, your blood, sweat and tears results go to your children, but you are "permitted" to live in the family home until you either die, sell or leave. (Usifruit) There is no state pension as such - 60€ p.m. I worked, but not a lot, so haven't "validated" the terms/trimestres needed to qualify for a pension - I am constantly getting forms to fill in as they now believe that I don't qualify for the minimum contribution to my social charges fund over the years and they want a refund.
I have a darling OH who is younger than me but no wedding bells for me either.
@D0rdogne_Damsel - 's friend who left her husband will be in the same position. If you leave the family home, you get practically nothing, even if your husband drinks/beats you every day etc. It'll take 2 years for the courts to settle and in the meantime, the poor woman has to live in a bedsitter with very little to live off - or, as she is, with family.
Women are still very much the second class citizen here.
On that note, I will go and cook my lamb chops with tzatziki for lunch!! And wash that lettuce!! with rocket!!
Have a good day to all the French contingent and to you all in Blighty!!
Lamb chops here too today @tuikowhai34 ... but this evening as OH is working today. We'll have ours with fresh mint sauce, cauliflower and roast potatoes.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
@tuikowhai34, I was lucky that 1st OH made a Will leaving whatever was possible under French law to me so that when the big family home was sold last year I was able to buy myself a smaller house on the edge of a market town. But it has caused family upsets.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
Oh @Dovefromabove, you do bring things back down to normal . I'm having fried chicken liver (which OH doesn't like) with bacon, mushrooms and fresh local asparagus.
Wondering whether it's worth making an asparagus bed, but the last one I had got infested with bindweed.
Dordogne and Norfolk. Clay in Dordogne, sandy in Norfolk.
Posts
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Have a good day all.
I do hope that you and OH will be together again very soon ... my fingers are very crossed for you.
Good morning @Allotment boy ... I've seen some allotments on a Sunday that have something of Brighton beach on a Bank Holiday
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Just been outside, it's a lovely day, I may paint furniture in the open barn and I may tidy up and thin out the nearly over celandine in the raised bed under the lime tree and plant the cyclamen I bought then forgot about.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Sunny and very windy today....and cold! Planted out some celery plants that had sprung up in the gravel path. Pulled up the plastic tunnel and picked the last lettuce.
@Busy-Lizzie Yep - exactly the same here. You could have told my story down to the last sentence. A prisoner of the Napoleonic laws which changed a bit in 2015 but too late for me (and you). Here in France, your blood, sweat and tears results go to your children, but you are "permitted" to live in the family home until you either die, sell or leave. (Usifruit) There is no state pension as such - 60€ p.m. I worked, but not a lot, so haven't "validated" the terms/trimestres needed to qualify for a pension - I am constantly getting forms to fill in as they now believe that I don't qualify for the minimum contribution to my social charges fund over the years and they want a refund.
I have a darling OH who is younger than me but no wedding bells for me either.
@D0rdogne_Damsel - 's friend who left her husband will be in the same position. If you leave the family home, you get practically nothing, even if your husband drinks/beats you every day etc. It'll take 2 years for the courts to settle and in the meantime, the poor woman has to live in a bedsitter with very little to live off - or, as she is, with family.
Women are still very much the second class citizen here.
On that note, I will go and cook my lamb chops with tzatziki for lunch!! And wash that lettuce!! with rocket!!
Have a good day to all the French contingent and to you all in Blighty!!
Tui
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Wondering whether it's worth making an asparagus bed, but the last one I had got infested with bindweed.