Thanks dove from above. I slept until the baby woke at 2, then was awake til 5 thinking as usual. 😣 this morning the neighbour I spoke to last night about the tree issue has someone in cutting down theirs, despite them saying they didnt want to bear the cost because their neighbour requested it. They clearly don't want to be in the same position as me. Looks like we'll have a lot more neighbours now looking into our bedrooms. Oh well...
I don’t suppose many folk really look into neighbours’ bedroom windows ... we live on an estate and could stare across if we wanted to and so could they ... but nobody does ... and with double glazing there’s so much reflection you couldn’t see anything/anyone unless they’re standing right by the window. (I’ve just been upstairs and tried to see what I could see 🤣)
We have huuuuuge windows (1960s house) and have slatted wooden blinds at all the windows so if we want to we can just set them at a slant and no one can see in at all, but plenty of daylight gets in ... so that’s an idea too. 😊 I could dance around in the altogether and no one could see me 😉
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
We all have to do what suits us best ... if they don’t feel strongly about it then they’ve done what makes them feel better about it. It doesn’t mean they don’t understand your concerns and how you feel.
Perhaps they felt if they had theirs done it removed any excuses he might have felt he had to do anything to them.
Just a different way of making their own statement ... sort of “they’re our trees, we’ll do what has to be done, you keep your hands off them!” sort of thing.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
However what annoys me is that We did maintain our trees, (we just got them pruned 2 days ago again) however it didnt stop him from taking over our territory. He still felt it was his right regardless. Wish we had just let him cut them at the beginning or had someone warning us about the trouble that lay ahead for not letting him get his way.
It feels like we have no rights at the end of the day, as we now have a horrible neighbour looking retaliation/harassing us, even though maintained our trees regularly. And a next door neighbour pretending to be supportive which is nearly more hurtful in the end because I trusted them. It's just the timing of their actions makes it feel really sneaky and inconsiderate.
Wish we could move without the hassle, but now we have a dispute to declare and its difficult timing with the baby.
He can only win if you let him ... it’s like you can only be a doormat if you lie down.
Your trees, your decisions ... you’ve told the police and they’ve agreed you’re in the right.
Don’t let your anxiety make this into an issue between you and the other neighbours.
I have a fair bit of understanding of anxiety issues (you should meet some of my family bless ‘em) and how worries can grow and twist in your head ... try to keep pulling your thoughts back to where you can control them.
Evidence not imagination ... logic not fear.
And remember, you’re in the right 👍 ... he knows that and the police have warned him.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
I'll try not to docs from above. I was just thinking last night I need to go back on my meds for anxiety to help me deal with all this. I've been getting a lot more crohns pains too so hopefully they'll help with that. I just wish I could handle these things better somehow so I'm not in the middle of 'trouble'.
If you find the meds helpful that may be a good idea. Have you tried CBT? I know some people who have found it really helpful ... even 30 years on from when they had the actual therapy they still do the ‘thinking exercises’ , particularly at stressful times, just to make sure they stay in control of their thinking patterns and don’t let their mind wander off down it’s own little tunnels. 😉 You deserve to enjoy your home and family, so try to get the help that will give you the strategies to do that. Then doolally neighbours will be just that, doolally (do you know what I mean or is that just a Suffolk saying?🙃) ... and you won’t feel threatened by them ((hugs)).
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
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Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Perhaps they felt if they had theirs done it removed any excuses he might have felt he had to do anything to them.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
However what annoys me is that We did maintain our trees, (we just got them pruned 2 days ago again) however it didnt stop him from taking over our territory. He still felt it was his right regardless. Wish we had just let him cut them at the beginning or had someone warning us about the trouble that lay ahead for not letting him get his way.
It feels like we have no rights at the end of the day, as we now have a horrible neighbour looking retaliation/harassing us, even though maintained our trees regularly. And a next door neighbour pretending to be supportive which is nearly more hurtful in the end because I trusted them. It's just the timing of their actions makes it feel really sneaky and inconsiderate.
Wish we could move without the hassle, but now we have a dispute to declare and its difficult timing with the baby.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
You deserve to enjoy your home and family, so try to get the help that will give you the strategies to do that. Then doolally neighbours will be just that, doolally (do you know what I mean or is that just a Suffolk saying?🙃) ... and you won’t feel threatened by them ((hugs)).
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.