@New Gardener, I would personally try to descalate the situation, take the fire out of it. Talking on the doorstep tends to make things terser (in my experience). Sitting down together (literally) calms things down. Take time to listen (if possible). Find out why they are so keen to bring down the level of the trees - what it means to them. If they are still super keen, perhaps waiting a few months and re-visiting the question. By which time they might have calmed down a bit.
I'm not suggesting it would be a panacea or it will make for dancing with the daisies. But I do think that calm discussion is likely to make for a more peaceable future. I speak as someone who has also fallen out with some neighbours. It really isn't fun.It's amazing how fast things can spiral, especially if others (in laws, other neighbours, friends) are egging one party on in combat.
Thanks everyone for your input and support. We just hope it doesn't escalate, but Freddies dad, we thought their persistent attitude was a bit bullying in nature. Me and my partner are both disabled (although they are not visable disabilities- aspergers and crohns) and are really hoping to avoid any stress over this situation for our health as much as anything else. Dreading his next visit but will do our best to handle the situation in a friendly but firm manner, somehow.
Also Freddies dad I * think* the boundary is relatively clear as our garden is lower than theirs and our trees are planted therefore lower down in our garden. I suppose though from the top of the trees it could be more difficult to tell? Not sure if there's a fence/wire or anything in between our two gardens. We have taken photos as advised just in case. Could really do without all this!
Don't let him touch your trees just to keep the peace. Remember the saying about giving an inch and they take a mile? Invite him for a cup of tea - in the garden, not the house - and explain that you don't want to change your trees, they've been there for years, are well maintained and that you find his persistence distressing and stressful and he should please stop. Remind him gently that the trees were there when he bought the house and are thus not a surprise or a recent change to the environment he has acquired.
Make notes of what you say and how he responds. but hope for the best. If possible, have a friend there as a witness so he knows you're not alone and an easy target.
Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
"The price good men (and women) pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men (and women)."
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Make notes of what you say and how he responds. but hope for the best. If possible, have a friend there as a witness so he knows you're not alone and an easy target.