I wish people could become less squeamish about this and choose to bury or cremate the body in just a shroud.
Amen. Also, a lot of people think they have some kind of ceremony or celebrant. Not at all. You can have what they call a 'direct funeral' which means people just bury or cremate you with no fuss. Friends and family could have a party if they fancy. But the burying bit dooesn't need to be a big deal.
The Natural Death Centre have a great website, helpline and book offering all sorts of insights and options for a good ending that you may have never considered. Planning is extraordinarily helpful. There is no legal requirement to use a funeral director either.
Interesting link @Fire. Unfortunately people that are not in the know wouldn’t think to question anything. What annoys me more than anything with some funeral directors is this pay up front for your funeral, they’re investing your money for their own gains, you can just as easily save it in a interest account yourself for the day. If you have money, the bank will allow you to take expenses out before the Will is sorted. Theres no need for a funeral director at all, and you don’t need a hearse.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Yes, people in shock get bullied into all sorts of nonsense extra costs like embalming and posh wooden coffins. When my dad died a few years ago, one chancer even tried to suggest I had to have a glass carriage with horses in black feathers and limos. It's quite outrageous. They don't expect you to start shouting
People also think there is some kind of rush - like you have to organise a funeral within five days or as if there is some established window. It's is all bunkum, which directors use as a pressure to decide these details fast and not think it through. With modern refridgeration, you can take as long as you like. For my dad, I wanted his siblings to come from all over the world and we could find one date a month ahead which they could all make. You wouldn't believe the pressure and bluster to make other arrangements, for no reason at all.
I would personally avoid Dignity directors with a barge pole. They are huge corporate shysters, that are trying to sew up the lucrative UK industry. They have bought up lots of UK small family businesses in recent years. They also often keep the family name to pretend the local directors is still independently run. My local funeral arrangers did that. It's basically like going to Starbucks. They try and add on every extra going and send you 'wham, bam' through the process. Find your independent, local directors or do it yourself. Do some comparative shopping. Prices vary hugely and there are usually loads of options (they don't mention) so you can do things exactly as you wish. Which is why the Natural Death Handbook is so useful.
The brazen exploitation of grieving people makes me so furious.
Absolutely agree @Fire. We’ve had people say ‘ we chose M......directors because we didn’t want the Co-Op’. Little did they know the co op has bought up all the small undertakers but kept their original names so no one knows.
@philippasmith2. You know where my parents are, in their favourite place to sit in their garden overlooking Dartmoor.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
I was quoted recently £80 for a simple cardboard tube for the ashes from the funeral director when i picked them up. I declined, and left with the ashes in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box. Knowing the sense of humour of the deceased, I bought a £40 bottle of single malt whisky we both enjoyed, and that came in a cardboard tube. His ashes will go in the whisky tube to be scattered at one of his favourite spots, and i will drink the bottle on his birthday.
Absolutely agree @Fire. We’ve had people say ‘ we chose M......directors because we didn’t want the Co-Op’. Little did they know the co op has bought up all the small undertakers but kept their original names so no one knows.
@philippasmith2. You know where my parents are, in their favourite place to sit in their garden overlooking Dartmoor.
Having enjoyed that view myself Lyn, I'd say they were in the best place possible.
Do you want to book a plot Philippa 😀
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
Absolutely agree @Fire. We’ve had people say ‘ we chose M......directors because we didn’t want the Co-Op’. Little did they know the co op has bought up all the small undertakers but kept their original names so no one knows.
The Co-op are just as bad. Try and find an independent and double check that they are actually independent. If anyone is looking in London I can recommend one in the north and one in the south from personal experience.
Posts
What annoys me more than anything with some funeral directors is this pay up front for your funeral, they’re investing your money for their own gains, you can just as easily save it in a interest account yourself for the day.
If you have money, the bank will allow you to take expenses out before the Will is sorted.
Theres no need for a funeral director at all, and you don’t need a hearse.
@philippasmith2. You know where my parents are, in their favourite place to sit in their garden overlooking Dartmoor.
I declined, and left with the ashes in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box. Knowing the sense of humour of the deceased, I bought a £40 bottle of single malt whisky we both enjoyed, and that came in a cardboard tube. His ashes will go in the whisky tube to be scattered at one of his favourite spots, and i will drink the bottle on his birthday.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
The Co-op are just as bad. Try and find an independent and double check that they are actually independent. If anyone is looking in London I can recommend one in the north and one in the south from personal experience.