Fairygirl, daugher informed me couple of days ago when we were having a joke that she has it all sorted. Stannalift to top floor where there's a bedroom with ensuite. Help. Not giving a home my kids' inheritance.
Tina I'm walking in front of a bus rather than go in a home, or wandering off the top of a hill. I hate the thought of growing old- gracefully or otherwise I suppose living with the kids would give me the chance to get my own back though.. I love them really
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
M made me promise not to put her in a home. Alas when it got to the stage of never ever having a nights sleep,(snatches of an hour at atime) Having to keep all doors locked and constantly cleaning up s*** from floors, bed s etc and then not sitting up unless we lifted her like a doll it was decided that for all our sakes a home was the only solution.
She is now in a lovely home where we can come and go whenever we want. She has put on a little weight and is much happier. We don't often see her when she is at her most 'trickiest' and I can now enjoy her as my M
All I say is be careful what you make them promise
My Dad looked after my Mum as her main carer Rosa and hid a lot of things from us. I think he was terrified she'd go into a home. He was a very independent person and didn't really like asking for help which was often difficult to deal with. They were together 60 years in total and he was heartbroken when she died. I'm a lot like him and in all honesty I wouldn't want to inflict myself on my kids. He died at home and it was hard for me as I found him.My partner was worried about me being there on my own (he was quite a distance away) but I told him I wasn't on my own , I had my Dad with me and it was strangely comforting. I hope you have many more years with her Rosa
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I'm glad you feel the same as me, Fairygirl - I would not want to inflict myself on my family either. At the moment, they love me and I don't want them to end up hating me as my aunt hated her difficult father in law. I want them to have their lives and not have to give them away for my sake - but also to inherit my house!
Derek, I learned as a very young soldier that difficult decisions have to be made constantly, after a while you harden and the skin toughens. As I went up through the ranks, promotion boards I had to sit on taught me that sentiment has no place in the room. ICI took me on for what I was and from the start they groomed me obviously for the job they knew was coming and when I did not apply I was not a graduate, I was told to have the application on the managers desk that day. It meant a huge step up the ladder and an easy comfortable retirement. The men and women said I had no parents but that I was totally fair. Some do, some do not, I had friends who could not do it and lost out in many ways. Visiting T----'s supermarket which is full of retired ICI men working to supplement their pensions I am greeted as a friend so I did something right. Not a rant Derek just trained by circumstances beyond my control as a lad to get on and do the job and not shed tears.
Fairygirl /Daughter, your Dad and I had the same experience then so I understand his hiding things form you although at first some of mine were thinking it was all imagination on my part, Joan is still in this house to me, I never would have believed it, I do now.
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Fairygirl, daugher informed me couple of days ago when we were having a joke that she has it all sorted. Stannalift to top floor where there's a bedroom with ensuite. Help.
Not giving a home my kids' inheritance.
Cilmeri - hope it was appropriate pairings.
Tina I'm walking in front of a bus rather than go in a home, or wandering off the top of a hill. I hate the thought of growing old- gracefully or otherwise
I suppose living with the kids would give me the chance to get my own back though..
I love them really
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Tina...
M made me promise not to put her in a home. Alas when it got to the stage of never ever having a nights sleep,(snatches of an hour at atime) Having to keep all doors locked and constantly cleaning up s*** from floors, bed s etc and then not sitting up unless we lifted her like a doll it was decided that for all our sakes a home was the only solution.
She is now in a lovely home where we can come and go whenever we want. She has put on a little weight and is much happier. We don't often see her when she is at her most 'trickiest' and I can now enjoy her as my M
All I say is be careful what you make them promise
My Dad looked after my Mum as her main carer Rosa and hid a lot of things from us. I think he was terrified she'd go into a home. He was a very independent person and didn't really like asking for help which was often difficult to deal with. They were together 60 years in total and he was heartbroken when she died. I'm a lot like him and in all honesty I wouldn't want to inflict myself on my kids. He died at home and it was hard for me as I found him.My partner was worried about me being there on my own (he was quite a distance away) but I told him I wasn't on my own , I had my Dad with me and it was strangely comforting. I hope you have many more years with her Rosa
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I'm glad you feel the same as me, Fairygirl - I would not want to inflict myself on my family either. At the moment, they love me and I don't want them to end up hating me as my aunt hated her difficult father in law. I want them to have their lives and not have to give them away for my sake - but also to inherit my house!
Derek, I learned as a very young soldier that difficult decisions have to be made constantly, after a while you harden and the skin toughens.
As I went up through the ranks, promotion boards I had to sit on taught me that sentiment has no place in the room.
ICI took me on for what I was and from the start they groomed me obviously for the job they knew was coming and when I did not apply I was not a graduate, I was told to have the application on the managers desk that day. It meant a huge step up the ladder and an easy comfortable retirement.
The men and women said I had no parents but that I was totally fair. Some do, some do not, I had friends who could not do it and lost out in many ways.
Visiting T----'s supermarket which is full of retired ICI men working to supplement their pensions I am greeted as a friend so I did something right.
Not a rant Derek just trained by circumstances beyond my control as a lad to get on and do the job and not shed tears.
Frank.
Fairygirl /Daughter, your Dad and I had the same experience then so I understand his hiding things form you although at first some of mine were thinking it was all imagination on my part,
Joan is still in this house to me, I never would have believed it, I do now.
Frank.
Frank/Dad- she'll always be with you.x
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...