Was always very timid and lacked confidence as a child so consequently got walked over. Came into my own when I found a job I loved and went from strength to strength as I knew I was good. Was OK for years then, following the birth of youngest, things went from bad to worse and I felt worthless. This went on for about 8 years and my life was intollerable. Eventually saw a way out and grabbed it, Got back to being my bolshi self. Will take on anything and everyone, in the nicest possible way (most times). Hate apathy, but should realise that not everyone has the same strength and conviction as myself. No point complaining if you don't do something about it.
I was a bullied child from a sometimes violent home in which drinking figured quite large, though my father was not an alcoholic. My brother and I survived rather than thrived. I am a strong character but did not know it, feeling inferior and worthless. I did not know I was depressed but thought instead that I was odd, a misfit,an inferior speciimen of hunanity. I was clever and was confident in what I could do, but I was not confident in what I was. That result was that, without knowing it, I begged everyone to walk over me - and they did. I learnt to fight back (eventually) but took a hammering.
Today, I realise that only two things matter - to be on the side of truth and right and to deal with people kindly; in other words, to turn one's attention away from oneself and concentrate on something else! I'll always be somewhat vulnerable because of my background, but if I forget myself, it does not matter that much.
Does anyone else wonder whether our love of gardening and losing ourselves in a world of our own bears any relevance to our experiences. Not into psychology, but does make me wonder whether this is where we find our peace.
GG - know where you are coming from. Our scars are on the inside, and we can either give into them, or find the strength from somewhere to get on in spite of them. I was lucky, Mum & Bio Father split up when I was 15, I realised I was afraid of him during a court hearing, strangely enough, after I realised I was afraid, I realised what he was, and stopped being afraid of him. He's just a spoilt bully.
GG, you got one thing wrong. You are a unique, beautiful person, and you DO matter, you need to remember this and give yourself some respect for all you have achieved, not everyone could have done what you have. You remind me a bit of my Mum. Was trained by her Mum to be a doormat, and did a very good job of it until she couldn't take it any more, and left in what she stood up in. She's now very happy with my Stepdad, and have moved to Spain - I'd love her to move back so she could be more of a Grandma to my two, but if she's happy in Spain, then she deserves that happiness.
My motto in life is stolen from the Camel Trophy - One Life, Live it.
Tina, you may have a point there. Gardening, good book, or chocolate. Or grown-up ginger beer (in moderation). Or cheese and biscuits. Oh bugger it. Off to raid the fridge.
When you love someone and think you can help them you keep trying until your health suffers and your children suffer. Then something happens to force your hand-in my case it was something my daughter did. The sad thing is that he can change his 'problem' but he's the only one who can do it. I don't want him to die because of it. I loved the person I wanted him to be- I still do. I wish I could change the things that happened but I can't- I can only learn from it and hope I don't fall into the same trap again. I have to move on and that's what the garden can do. A brilliant therapy.
Perhaps we should start a new thread- 'Kindred Spirits'.
I think that's what we are.
Love to you all GG, MMP and Tina
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Most definitely Fairygirl. Was just thinking how comfortable we 'strangers' must now be that we feel able to share so much. It became my 'mission' to want everyone I found in the same boat as myself to get what I had! Some tried it and found it worked, others didn't find they could. I was sad for them as they would go on trying to change whoever and that would never happen. The only person you can change is yourself.
jst back from super market raiding picked up 4 pots of tete-a-tete for 10 c a pot went into lidl and most of the plants were missing since yesterday. coincidence or have lidl listened, Aldi havent so far. I got a 10 Kg bag of cornish granite chippings which i hope will help my seedlings.
Posts
Was always very timid and lacked confidence as a child so consequently got walked over. Came into my own when I found a job I loved and went from strength to strength as I knew I was good. Was OK for years then, following the birth of youngest, things went from bad to worse and I felt worthless. This went on for about 8 years and my life was intollerable. Eventually saw a way out and grabbed it, Got back to being my bolshi self.
Will take on anything and everyone, in the nicest possible way (most times). Hate apathy, but should realise that not everyone has the same strength and conviction as myself. No point complaining if you don't do something about it.
Well, this is my sob story.
I was a bullied child from a sometimes violent home in which drinking figured quite large, though my father was not an alcoholic. My brother and I survived rather than thrived. I am a strong character but did not know it, feeling inferior and worthless. I did not know I was depressed but thought instead that I was odd, a misfit,an inferior speciimen of hunanity. I was clever and was confident in what I could do, but I was not confident in what I was. That result was that, without knowing it, I begged everyone to walk over me - and they did. I learnt to fight back (eventually) but took a hammering.
Today, I realise that only two things matter - to be on the side of truth and right and to deal with people kindly; in other words, to turn one's attention away from oneself and concentrate on something else! I'll always be somewhat vulnerable because of my background, but if I forget myself, it does not matter that much.
hmm i guess GG is linda but i've no idea who is sue.
I think its a small but representitive sample that should help convince the powers that be at aldi that they have a problem
Might be the germans thou that dictate company policy, such an easy to fix problem so maybe they will.
Does anyone else wonder whether our love of gardening and losing ourselves in a world of our own bears any relevance to our experiences. Not into psychology, but does make me wonder whether this is where we find our peace.
GG - know where you are coming from. Our scars are on the inside, and we can either give into them, or find the strength from somewhere to get on in spite of them. I was lucky, Mum & Bio Father split up when I was 15, I realised I was afraid of him during a court hearing, strangely enough, after I realised I was afraid, I realised what he was, and stopped being afraid of him. He's just a spoilt bully.
GG, you got one thing wrong. You are a unique, beautiful person, and you DO matter, you need to remember this and give yourself some respect for all you have achieved, not everyone could have done what you have. You remind me a bit of my Mum. Was trained by her Mum to be a doormat, and did a very good job of it until she couldn't take it any more, and left in what she stood up in. She's now very happy with my Stepdad, and have moved to Spain - I'd love her to move back so she could be more of a Grandma to my two, but if she's happy in Spain, then she deserves that happiness.
My motto in life is stolen from the Camel Trophy - One Life, Live it.
Good stuff, MMP. Believe me, I'm no pushover! But thanks for your kindness.
Tina, you may have a point there. Gardening, good book, or chocolate. Or grown-up ginger beer (in moderation). Or cheese and biscuits. Oh bugger it. Off to raid the fridge.
Tina-you don't know how right you are.
When you love someone and think you can help them you keep trying until your health suffers and your children suffer. Then something happens to force your hand-in my case it was something my daughter did. The sad thing is that he can change his 'problem' but he's the only one who can do it. I don't want him to die because of it. I loved the person I wanted him to be- I still do. I wish I could change the things that happened but I can't- I can only learn from it and hope I don't fall into the same trap again. I have to move on and that's what the garden can do. A brilliant therapy.
Perhaps we should start a new thread- 'Kindred Spirits'.
I think that's what we are.
Love to you all GG, MMP and Tina
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Most definitely Fairygirl. Was just thinking how comfortable we 'strangers' must now be that we feel able to share so much. It became my 'mission' to want everyone I found in the same boat as myself to get what I had! Some tried it and found it worked, others didn't find they could. I was sad for them as they would go on trying to change whoever and that would never happen. The only person you can change is yourself.
jst back from super market raiding picked up 4 pots of tete-a-tete for 10 c a pot
went into lidl and most of the plants were missing since yesterday. coincidence or have lidl listened, Aldi havent so far. I got a 10 Kg bag of cornish granite chippings which i hope will help my seedlings.