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  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Posts: 88,147
    Fire said:
    @fire ...  sadly I think those are folk with an addictive personality for one reason or another ... in another age they'd be 'down the bookies' or 'propping up the bar'.  

    I dunno Dove. I think you'd be pretty amazed at the amount of hours that men aged 20-40  are giving to gaming and porn. I don't think they have the upsides of gardening. And I think there is generalised denial at the scale and depth of addiction/habituation.

    ...
    No, sadly I don't think I would ... a career spent partly in family social work has given me insight into a great many aspects of al great many people's lives  ... 

    Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.





  • steveTusteveTu Posts: 3,219
    it's not about having an addictive personality per se, when the computerisation is and feeds on being addictive. Everything you see in the computer world is targeted at keeping you locked into it.  I personally think the progress of computerisation  is the biggest threat to mankind (Shaun). And like a lobster put in a pot and slowly brought to the boil, Shaun is dying slowly without even realising it. A computer as a tool is fine - a computer as a replacement for life and social interaction is a major issue. How many people started with simple games and now live their lives through their mobile devices? Why is Zuckerberg investing in the metaverse? Duane Dibbley.
    How many social interactions occur face-to-face anymore and how many through a chip?


    UK - South Coast Retirement Campus (East)
  • What I found sad now, as a retired employer of adults and a lot of students who worked part time, was twenty years ago the lack of the "interpersonal skills," of the latter.

    In the workplace,  those new to employment need to be able to communicate with all sorts of different people of different ages.

    For many, their main contacts as a student, would be their parents, their friends and relatives and young people of a similar age. Being stuck in their bedroom playing computer games can reduce even these opportunities,  making them become more insular.
  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Posts: 88,147
    steveTu said:
    it's not about having an addictive personality per se, when the computerisation is and feeds on being addictive. Everything you see in the computer world is targeted at keeping you locked into it.  I personally think the progress of computerisation  is the biggest threat to mankind (Shaun). And like a lobster put in a pot and slowly brought to the boil, Shaun is dying slowly without even realising it. A computer as a tool is fine - a computer as a replacement for life and social interaction is a major issue. How many people started with simple games and now live their lives through their mobile devices? Why is Zuckerberg investing in the metaverse? Duane Dibbley.
    How many social interactions occur face-to-face anymore and how many through a chip?


    And that's why I stressed the involvement of parents. 

    But the genie won't fit back into the bottle ... and where the heck would we have been over the past couple of years without computerisation ... not only to keep some sort of social interaction and creativity going, but also to keep the wheels of industry and commerce going so that the country could at least begin to pay for some of what has been spent on maintaining some sort of income for so many who couldn't work due to lockdown  ... and then there's the rapidity of the development of Covid vaccines ... totally impossible without computers.  I tell you ... without computers and t'internet the world would be in an even worse mess than it is now.  

    I expect that when books were invented there was someone sitting round a fire bemoaning the passing of the oral tradition of storytelling ... which believe you me, still exists here in Norfolk ... 

    Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.





  • LynLyn Posts: 23,190
    I think there are a lot of oldies who would  go back to playing marbles and skipping in the street,   It’s not going to happen, everything moves on,  you can’t stop progress.
    Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor. 

  • Lyn said:
    I think there are a lot of oldies who would  go back to playing marbles and skipping in the street,   It’s not going to happen, everything moves on,  you can’t stop progress.

    Dunno, nothing wrong with a bit of participation in "nostalgia" I do it myself.
    I like going back to the sixties in my summerhouse.



  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Posts: 88,147
    edited October 2021
    But we can't expect our children to do as we did ... there's more job options nowadays than harness making and blacksmithing ...  :)

    What I found sad now, as a retired employer of adults and a lot of students who worked part time, was twenty years ago the lack of the "interpersonal skills," of the latter.

    In the workplace,  those new to employment need to be able to communicate with all sorts of different people of different ages.

    For many, their main contacts as a student, would be their parents, their friends and relatives and young people of a similar age. Being stuck in their bedroom playing computer games can reduce even these opportunities,  making them become more insular.
    There's lots and lots of 'interpersonal skills' involved in using social media and most youngsters now are quite aware of them ... the principles for face to face and interaction and communication online are the same ... it's just a slightly different application of those principles that's needed  ... a lack of awareness of them can cause much upset on forums ...

    (I want to say fora but I know forums is the usual term nowadays and I have moved with the times.)

     :) 

    Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.





  • ErgatesErgates Posts: 2,953
    edited October 2021
    I’d just be prepared to set boundaries and keep to them. Monitor usage and any contacts with others, to keep your daughter safe. Just part of the hard work of being a parent, not being mr / Mrs Nice Guy all the time.

    Ive been very impressed with how my son has approached policing the use of the internet for the boys. I’m hoping this is at least partly a result of how he was brought up. I found when he was at senior school, that I had gained a reputation as being a fairly strict parent. Other mums would ring me up to ask if I was letting Son go to some party or activity, having been assured that all the other kids at school were going. One told me that she would have put a bet that I wasn’t letting Son go, so felt in a stronger position to veto her own child doing something she wasn’t comfortable with.

    Good luck with your decision, it looks like you are getting plenty of good advice from forum members with recent and relevant experience.
  • Doghouse RileyDoghouse Riley Posts: 347
    edited October 2021
    But we can't expect our children to do as we did ... there's more job options nowadays than harness making and blacksmithing ...  :)

    What I found sad now, as a retired employer of adults and a lot of students who worked part time, was twenty years ago the lack of the "interpersonal skills," of the latter.

    In the workplace,  those new to employment need to be able to communicate with all sorts of different people of different ages.

    For many, their main contacts as a student, would be their parents, their friends and relatives and young people of a similar age. Being stuck in their bedroom playing computer games can reduce even these opportunities,  making them become more insular.
    There's lots and lots of 'interpersonal skills' involved in using social media ... the principles for face to face and interaction and communication online are the same ... it's just a slightly different application of those principles that's needed  ... a lack of awareness of them can cause much upset on forums ...

    (I want to say fora but I know forums is the usual term nowadays and I have moved with the times.)

     :) 

    As they say, each to their own.
    I was talking about young people.
    I think too much time is spent on social media by some and people can disguise their personalties on that medium.
    And you "can't hit and run" in the workplace.

    I can only speak from experience as an employer and I don't think a lot of "gaming" (how I dislike that word) prepares anyone for life in the outside world.
  • FireFire Posts: 19,096
    Porn Hub gets 130 million visists a day. The stats are mind blowing. 50% of kids 11-13 of using it.
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