Easy to say if you haven't been relentlessly abused and attacked by that person though. Some of it was indefensible, and it's not surprising people became very upset and retaliated. I've been on this forum for over 8 years, and have had great support and comfort from it because I'd just escaped a very serious situation, but I was ready to leave. I'm also mildly autistic, so it isn't always that simple for me.
Fortunately, it's all been very quiet and normal today.
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Easy to say if you haven't been relentlessly abused and attacked by that person though. Some of it was indefensible, and it's not surprising people became very upset and retaliated. I've been on this forum for over 8 years, and have had great support and comfort from it because I'd just escaped a very serious situation, but I was ready to leave. I'm also mildly autistic, so it isn't always that simple for me.
Fortunately, it's all been very quiet and normal today.
I'm so sorry you've had a bad time, I can relate to your situation because my earlier private life was trying to deal with the same problem, you just don't need it on a forum when people just want to be nice to eachother. I belong to a cross-stitch forum and our moderator is brilliant, it only takes one person to get nasty or spiteful and their gone, banned, no excuses. I don't know if you can block seeing someone else's replies on this forum, but if possible maybe that's an option rather than leave and miss out?
Forums do get people turning up who are in a bad way and want to join but can't grasp the way it works. As I've said before, it's a amazing we don't get more.
I was an editor for Wikipedia for many years and have been called everything from a Nazi to a Mosad agent to a racist piece of scum to CIA spy, by people who had no idea who I was (or what the WP community project is about). They just didn't like working within bounds. Any correction by old hands has them yelling 'censorship' and they feel often feel persecuted. The model is fraught, and many people who rock up to WP editing are in a bad way by default, angry, with no social or negotiating skills, or who are in a very dark place - editing is open to all the world, pretty much. So stewards get quite a thick skin and end up taking a lot of flack for trying to (politely) encourage those people to follow the site rules.
I believe courtsey is the cornerstone for editors, even, or especially, when feeling attacked. We believe in the project and the community. It is doing good things, striving to be fair and inclusive. We don't throw bricks or get reactive. Have a break for a while - bring in moderators at that is what they are for, and in our GW forum case, what they are paid for.
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Having spent four or five years on this forum and more at WP, I come to feel there are a lot of parallels; not least that they are both structures dedicated to open education, providing a huge database of accessible knowledge*. They are community based, with volunteer, community editing, though GW is obviously much smaller and simpler in structure and purpose. For many WP editors their community is a big part of their life and the biggest reason for being for the vast number of hours they give to the project. They face similar questions of quality, cliquiness, and inclusion and work through ways to try address these - trying to stay outward-looking.
I am suddenly struck by my having jumped from one online volunteer education space into right into another, with similar aims, without my quite realising it. 🙄 This one is very much easier on the eyes than coding.
Forums do get people turning up who are in a bad way. As I've said before, it's a amazing we don't get more.
I actually said to someone on our local forum last week that they enjoyed being nasty, causing agro and insulting people. They replied ' well it passes the time and your right, I do enjoy it'. What a sad individual, he really needs to get out more.
I'm not going to repeat the reasons some of didn't use the ignore button @Gwenr, because it's been explained many times, on many threads already in the last week
Anyway, I'm just glad things have settled down.
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I actually said to someone on our local forum last week that they enjoyed being nasty, causing agro and insulting people. They replied ' well it passes the time and your right, I do enjoy it'. What a sad individual, he really needs to get out more.
My neighbour actively enjoys causing aggro on Facebook and says he goes out of his way to wind people up. He thinks of himself of a trickster/joker disrupter character. But I think it's important to distinguish between those WUMs and people who are in a bad way or who are struggling - people who to be part of something but can't make it work. They are not "laughing" at anyone, not sitting back in smug satisfation watching the drama unfold and enjoying 'entertainment'; not "doing it for attention". Quite the opposite, for the most part; they are upset themselves and feeling targetted, and longing for connection, I suspect.
In my local forums we currently have about five people in a bad way who have been disruptive and rude to others, causing drama. When this is addressed they have all felt persecuted and censored. In fact, they are just being asked to follow the brief of the groups and act with respect to other members. But they are struggling in life and feel everyone is out to get them. Negotiating around this areas is really difficult. "Bad behaviour" is not acceptable. By ranting and acting out, they are often exiling themselves from the support and connection they crave. Explosive drama is exhaustive for everyone else.
I expect most of us having these dynamics playing out in wider family situations; Matters of empathy, sympathy, holding boundaries, being clear.
I agree @Fire. I had a very troubled time when my daughter and her OH with a baby and toddler had to return to the UK to live with us after the financial crash affected their livelihood in Spain. They had hardly any money, nowhere to live and no jobs. It was hard on all of us and it was me they lashed out at. I kept my own counsel and waited until they gradually found their feet. It was a difficult time - they were hurting and behaved appallingly towards me but I knew why they were as they were and could see how they felt persecuted and judged. If it hadn't been for the babies I would have turfed them out! They stayed living near us and it all turned out fine - girls growing up in a stable environment, daughter teaching in a local school, her OH with his own business now and a great relationship between us all. So we never know what is going on with other people. It's a shame Jac19 behaved the way she did - but her lashing out could not be met with the same kind of patience and forgiveness here as I did with my daughter.
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I've been on this forum for over 8 years, and have had great support and comfort from it because I'd just escaped a very serious situation, but I was ready to leave. I'm also mildly autistic, so it isn't always that simple for me.
Fortunately, it's all been very quiet and normal today.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Yes, action has been taken.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I don't know if you can block seeing someone else's replies on this forum, but if possible maybe that's an option rather than leave and miss out?
Anyway, I'm just glad things have settled down.
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
So we never know what is going on with other people. It's a shame Jac19 behaved the way she did - but her lashing out could not be met with the same kind of patience and forgiveness here as I did with my daughter.