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Tipping advice, nothing to do with gardening

BenCottoBenCotto Posts: 4,718
in The potting shed
I will soon be organising a wedding anniversary dinner for about 30 guests. The venue is a pretty upmarket hotel and the meal is costed per head, inclusive of VAT. Can I ask of those who might have been in a similar position whether you added on a tip to the final bill. Thanks.
Rutland, England
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Posts

  • ErgatesErgates Posts: 2,953
    A larger party of more than 6 guests is often subject to a 10% service charge, so check the small print. 
  • Janie BJanie B Posts: 963
    If it's discretionary would it not depend upon the service you received (regardless of the amount agreed)? 
    Lincolnshire
  • BenCottoBenCotto Posts: 4,718
    Thank you both for your comments. I am well used to tipping regimes when eating in a smallish group of up to about a dozen in the main dining room and choosing from the regular menu but I was asking if, in your experience, those same rules apply in a private dining room for a much larger party and the meal is agreed in advance.

    I will ask the venue but wondered if folk had experience of this if such a charge is not mentioned in the T&Cs. As a wedding/funeral guest at such events I have never for a moment thought about tipping the serving staff and, until now, never stopped to consider if the person paying the final bill added a discretionary amount for service.
    Rutland, England
  • debs64debs64 Posts: 5,184
    My fiancé is a chef who often caters for weddings. It’s the norm for a tip to be given by the groom or parent of the bride to the kitchen staff, also individuals often tip the waiting staff. A tip is a way of thanking people for good service so if you feel that’s appropriate then go for it. As an ex waitress I always tip as generously as I can. 
  • Janie BJanie B Posts: 963
    debs64 said:
    As an ex waitress I always tip as generously as I can. 
    Me too!
    Lincolnshire
  • Hostafan1Hostafan1 Posts: 34,889
    edited May 2021
    I'm not a fan of tipping. 
    Why are we expected to tip a taxi driver, but not a bus driver?
    Why are we expected to tip  a hairdresser, but not a dentist?
    Why are we expected to tip a waiter but not a checkout operator? 
    Devon.
  • debs64debs64 Posts: 5,184
    I think the idea of tipping is a way of thanking someone for good service. Also possibly a reflection of the pay received by these people? The unsocial hours they work etc? Not sure why we tip some but not others but I tip. It makes me feel good and I know as a waitress a night with good tips always felt better than one with poor ones. 
  • BenCottoBenCotto Posts: 4,718
    It’s for the same reason, @Hostafan1, that we give a round of applause at the end of a play but don’t clap when the vicar finishes her sermon - it’s the custom. For the most part I agree with your sentiment but prefer to live with society’s mores and stay with the traditional majority.
    Rutland, England
  • Hostafan1Hostafan1 Posts: 34,889
    one is paid a salary to do the job. If the pay isn't enough, don't expect the customer to top it up, that's either one's choice of job, or bad employers.
    Devon.
  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Posts: 88,147
    I agree with @Hostafan1 's principles and the fact that it's a custom has facilitated the under-payment of employees in some industries for years.   I'm aware that some places add a service charge which doesn't reach the staff ... I try not to go to such places.  I do tip good service in restaurants that don't add a service charge that goes to staff, as I know how much some front of house staff depend on it.  I prefer to use restaurants that have a well-thought-out service charge policy where the kitchen staff as well as the front of house get a share.  Kitchen porters are also on low money and work long and late.  

    I definitely don't tip owner/proprietors which is what my hair-dresser is ... and I don't automatically tip taxi drivers but if they've been particularly helpful with baggage etc then it'll be 'keep the change'.  

    I think in this particular case @BenCotto I would ask the venue what their policy is ... e.g. do they add a service charge and does it all go to the staff? 

    If the staff don't automatically receive tips then I would wait until the end of the event and if all has been good then I would pass a cash amount to the head waiter/waitress for distribution among the staff ... but I would do it in full view of several members of staff ... just to be on the safe side. 

    Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.





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