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Suggesting the "Size does matter" 2021 tomato challenge!

13

Posts

  • strelitzia32strelitzia32 Posts: 758
    edited August 2020
    @Skylarks sounds like you're a fully paid up member of the lazy gardener club, just like me. Unnecessary effort should be shunned!

    @herbaceous I'm impressed with your approach. Winning fair and square is for losers ;) ... Now I'm off to water my toms with this new brand of fertilizer from 2 brothers in Germany called "Ro Und Up". You should try it....
  • B3B3 Posts: 27,505
    I've always thought bonsai was akin to pulling the legs off woodlice. Are we sure that we should torture a tomato plant just to win a competition?
    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • herbaceousherbaceous Posts: 2,318
    We @B3 , did you say we?  Does that mean you are coming to help?  If we take it in turns to abuse the plant we can still social distance!  As for the competition - I can't win an argument but I do like messing about  :D 
    "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."  Sir Terry Pratchett
  • B3 said:
    I've always thought bonsai was akin to pulling the legs off woodlice. Are we sure that we should torture a tomato plant just to win a competition?
    Yes, yes you should. Think of it as the school of hard knocks for tomatoes. They'll struggle and suffer, but when they become Grammy winners and look back on their life, they will credit this competition with giving them the grit, determination and fortitude to succeed in a world where the odds were stacked against them.

    Stars such as Halle (Goose)Berry, O(range) J(uice) Simpson and Sean (Broad)Bean will line up to give tributes. 

    And when a movie about their life made, the theme song will be done by.....
    .
    .
    Wait for it....
    .
    .
    The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, of course!
  • B3B3 Posts: 27,505
    Cubby Broccoli
    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • herbaceousherbaceous Posts: 2,318
    A very stirring speech @strelitzia32 worthy of a winner except (Oh NO!) you are barred from entry  :/   

    Given any thought to other judges?  Considering @B3 has an emotional attachment to plants probably not a good choice, you need someone with an ego the size of the moon and no horticultural experience at all.  One springs to mind, Persimmon Trowel?
    "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."  Sir Terry Pratchett
  • @herbaceous Yes we'll need a judging panel, good point! Any volunteers? As well as Mr P. Trowel, I may drop a note to the HS2 railway strategy team to see if they're interested, with any luck they can spare us a few minutes in between chopping down ancient woodland. 

    We could judge it like Chelsea, where everyone gets a medal as long as they correctly describe their tomato before they start growing it.

    If I'm not allowed to enter, I want to confirm up front that the new forum member strelitzia64 is absolutely nothing to do with me and any resemblance is coincidental, and congratulations to them on winning. 

  • herbaceousherbaceous Posts: 2,318
     :D  
    "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."  Sir Terry Pratchett
  • B3B3 Posts: 27,505
    Melonia Trump
    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • herbaceousherbaceous Posts: 2,318


    Shame we can't have Jasper Carrot, that funky moped would have been a media draw!
    "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."  Sir Terry Pratchett
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