You talk in hindsight though - what would your feelings be now if your mum had gone down with the virus? OK, she didn't, but weren't the extrapolated figures yesterday that 1 in 10 in the UK show signs of anti-bodies, so have had the virus? That would mean in my immediate family (bro, sis and their kids included), one of us could potentially have had it. Do you not think there are loads of people now who look back at mixing and wish they hadn't as they were one of the unlucky ones where the virus did spread amongst the close family?
Yes I do talk from hindsight and if she had caught the virus I would still have done the same. When you see your Mum in tears a few feet away would you really be so cruel as to deny them a hug?
So you would be happy to never hug, laugh with, cry with, talk with ... your mum again for one hug? What is more cruel with a child - to give in when they're upset and want something, or to, as a responsible person, not give in knowing that in the long run that is in their best interest? Why make a different decision for a parent? Isn't the assessment of risk the issue and what then the gain is for that risk? I'm really glad it worked out for you - but frustratingly what it also ignores is that others are also put at risk. If you had had the virus, then your mum may have caught it and then some poor unsuspecting third party formed part of the chain. So you may assess the risk for yourself and your mum and be ok with your decision - but do you think others potentially in the chain would be as happy? What would a third party gain from you hugging your mum?
I will still hug my Mum if she asks for one. We had 5 for Christmas last year and Mum said even without Covid this could be her last Christmas ever. At 87 she knows that there may not be many left. She lost 3 friends (none to Covid) in 2020 and had not been able to see any of them for months.There are many others that she may never see again. We are all very careful and abide by the rules as much as anyone can. But life at a distance is no life at all and there are risks,but some are worth taking.
“Every day is ordinary, until it isn't.” - Bernard Cornwell-Death of Kings
You're still addressing it from your point of view. What about that home care or medical worker or... who potentially gets the virus because you want to hug? Would they assess the risk of that hug the same as you?
I agree that there are risks worth taking, but only if the risks only affect you. If your behaviour puts others at risk, then they are not your decisions to make. If you or your mum end up in hospital, you are putting many others lives at risk.
How can you lie there and think of England When you don't even know who's in the team
Of course I weigh up the risks. I have had no other contact with anyone since Christmas other than my son who lives with me and my Mum. I am very careful and don't take undue risks.
“Every day is ordinary, until it isn't.” - Bernard Cornwell-Death of Kings
It’s very difficult to weigh up a risk when you really don’t know how risky it all is. Even once we’ve all been vaccinated, even once the transmission rates are less, even when the numbers of positives and deaths are down - how can we really weigh up the risk?? There will always be someone who number 100 in a 1% chance.
I am always reminded of my Dad who had to consent to a procedure with a 1 in 100 chance of a serious complication - as he waited in his hospital gown, the person before him was wheeled out to be transferred for an emergency operation as they had suffered the 1 in 100 chance of a complication. Dad, an analytical man who is very knowledgable about statistics and mathematics, remarked - “ I hope patient 100 is ok. I am glad to be patient 101 today”.
@madpenguin that piece by Bel Mooney made me cry. I wish with all my heart I had given my mum a hug. I agree we really need to be compassionate and consider other people's circumstances.
Posts
I will wait.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
So you would be happy to never hug, laugh with, cry with, talk with ... your mum again for one hug? What is more cruel with a child - to give in when they're upset and want something, or to, as a responsible person, not give in knowing that in the long run that is in their best interest? Why make a different decision for a parent? Isn't the assessment of risk the issue and what then the gain is for that risk? I'm really glad it worked out for you - but frustratingly what it also ignores is that others are also put at risk. If you had had the virus, then your mum may have caught it and then some poor unsuspecting third party formed part of the chain. So you may assess the risk for yourself and your mum and be ok with your decision - but do you think others potentially in the chain would be as happy? What would a third party gain from you hugging your mum?
We had 5 for Christmas last year and Mum said even without Covid this could be her last Christmas ever. At 87 she knows that there may not be many left.
She lost 3 friends (none to Covid) in 2020 and had not been able to see any of them for months.There are many others that she may never see again.
We are all very careful and abide by the rules as much as anyone can.
But life at a distance is no life at all and there are risks,but some are worth taking.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
If you or your mum end up in hospital, you are putting many others lives at risk.
When you don't even know who's in the team
S.Yorkshire/Derbyshire border
I have had no other contact with anyone since Christmas other than my son who lives with me and my Mum.
I am very careful and don't take undue risks.
I am always reminded of my Dad who had to consent to a procedure with a 1 in 100 chance of a serious complication - as he waited in his hospital gown, the person before him was wheeled out to be transferred for an emergency operation as they had suffered the 1 in 100 chance of a complication. Dad, an analytical man who is very knowledgable about statistics and mathematics, remarked - “ I hope patient 100 is ok. I am glad to be patient 101 today”.