I think you're being more than reasonable in the circumstances. Whether there's a problem there or not - she clearly expects you to bow and scrape, or burst into tears or something similar. Well done in not falling for it
It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I think you’re being very good in the circumstances ... more people should take your example 👍
I do wonder however whether you might be on to something with your thought of dementia ... for several years before my late mother was diagnosed there were instances of her making mistakes about something ... sometimes quite important things ... and being totally unable to admit she was wrong ... she was adamant it was the other person even if it was proved beyond the hint of a doubt. One tradesman in particular had the patience and forbearance of a saint and earned our eternal gratitude when we found out how he’d handled it. 😊
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
I think you’re being very good in the circumstances ... more people should take your example 👍
I do wonder however whether you might be on to something with your thought of dementia ... for several years before my late mother was diagnosed there were instances of her making mistakes about something ... sometimes quite important things ... and being totally unable to admit she was wrong ... she was adamant it was the other person even if it was proved beyond the hint of a doubt. One tradesman in particular had the patience and forbearance of a saint and earned our eternal gratitude when we found out how he’d handled it. 😊
It is a serious consideration for me but unfortunately its not something I can say to her family without prompting further discontent, unless its something they already have concerns about, and I don't know that they have. I can't seriously think of another rational explanation for her behaviour, behaviour which her husband stood well apart from.
Its sad but its out of my hands, it doesn't excuse her behaviour but it potentially explains it.
I think that’s all you can do ... continue to be a good neighbour and keep an eye/ear open ... there may come a time in the future when a kind helping hand in an emergency is needed. It may be that at the moment her husband is between a rock and a hard place.
😊
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Irrational behaviour often accompanies brain tumours. Your neighbour may not even know there is a possible underlying medical explanation of her cantankerousness.
Some people just enjoy it, maybe they feel powerless in other areas so they compensate by causing immense grief in situations they can take control of.
"What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour".
just wait until she is not in and put up the fence you were always going to put up (in the agreed place), carefully removing her "fence" and placing it back in her garden (dont want to be accused of stealing). Make sure it is solidly laid in and not really removable. A few photographs with tape measures in place for future solicitor use would not go amiss. Be VERY accurate with the measurements. I'd suggest getting the fence put in by professionals as it will be quicker and more solid (read not removable). If you dont jump on it quick it will go on for years and years and end up costing you a fortune in solicitor and court fees. You could even be magnanimous and give her the 45cm to stop any future wrangling but that is up to you.
just wait until she is not in and put up the fence you were always going to put up (in the agreed place), carefully removing her "fence" and placing it back in her garden (dont want to be accused of stealing). Make sure it is solidly laid in and not really removable. A few photographs with tape measures in place for future solicitor use would not go amiss. Be VERY accurate with the measurements. I'd suggest getting the fence put in by professionals as it will be quicker and more solid (read not removable). If you dont jump on it quick it will go on for years and years and end up costing you a fortune in solicitor and court fees. You could even be magnanimous and give her the 45cm to stop any future wrangling but that is up to you.
Phillip...you missed out the pages of this thread where she explained how she sorted it!
Posts
Whether there's a problem there or not - she clearly expects you to bow and scrape, or burst into tears or something similar. Well done in not falling for it
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
I do wonder however whether you might be on to something with your thought of dementia ... for several years before my late mother was diagnosed there were instances of her making mistakes about something ... sometimes quite important things ... and being totally unable to admit she was wrong ... she was adamant it was the other person even if it was proved beyond the hint of a doubt. One tradesman in particular had the patience and forbearance of a saint and earned our eternal gratitude when we found out how he’d handled it. 😊
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Its sad but its out of my hands, it doesn't excuse her behaviour but it potentially explains it.
Cordial relations is now as far as it goes.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.