I grew up in two different houses both with private gardens, and the last one had a lovely big enclosed garden with complete privacy, until we opened the large back gate and even then the road was quiet, very little traffic. We were so lucky - once we closed the large back gate we were completely isolated inside our property although we always had friends/relatives coming to stay with us so never felt completely shut off.
Since living in our current place (40 years) we have enjoyed the same privacy until our neighbour was granted permission to build 8 boxes which when completed will completely overlook our garden - car lights will be shinning into our rooms, dogs will be jumping over fences to enter our garden and the noise - well I can't begin to imagine how annoying and disruptive that will be. The roads will be busier and the whole area will be affected with a drop property values. That is if they can find anyone to live in these new boxes. Where is the quality of life for the people who will eventually live in these box houses. They won't have a garden just a paving area which will probably be full of parked cars. Any children will not know what it is to play in a garden with REAL grass under their feet. I despair, I really do!
Having just read your comments edhelka, I couldn't agree more with your sentiments.
Well, George, I grew up in a tiny village in Yorkshire where everybody knew my family and my ancestors and I can tell you it was like living in a goldfish bowl. No opportunity to express any slight difference in views or dress or ambitions. Any comment made by me went the rounds until it came back to me in an unrecognisable form.
and I always wonder why Facebook is so popular. People want privacy but use it to tell everyone their every move or thought. It's small village life on a grand scale.
If you can keep your head, while those around you are losing theirs, you may not have grasped the seriousness of the situation.
When we moved to our house - detached, in a small, quiet urban street - the first thing we did was take down the net curtains the vendors had left at every window. Then we got a man in to cut down the huge bushes that blocked our view of the street.
We knew the immediate neighbours were friendly because we had chanced to meet them in the street when we viewed the house, and it was one of the factors that influenced our choice. My mother is 95 and almost blind. She has a "panic button" to call for help if she has a mishap when no-one else is home, and we were very grateful that our nice neighbours readily agreed to be key holders. We know everyone in our street, except for one house which is converted into small flats and there is a frequent turnover of residents.
I've learned not to open posts on this site that have "screening" or "privacy" in the title, because I know they will make me hot under the collar. Though I was mildly amused when someone asked what to grow to prevent next door's children looking over the fence when they bounced on their trampoline. One respondent helpfully pointed out that the children would be at university by the time the plants grew tall enough.
Maybe the privacy enthusiasts should learn sign language so they can talk in the garden without fear of being overheard.
I'm reminded of a story a British actor told about his neighour across the road sending him a note saying " I note you have a habit of walking round your flat naked. Might I suggest you draw your curtains?" To which he replied " it's my flat and I like walking about naked. Might I suggest you draw yours?"
Good points @edhelka interesting take on the subject informed by your past life. Clearly me growing up in a very permissive Greek household has informed my reactions to life in the UK...even if I've been here for 25 years. When my in laws are visiting and start closing all the shutters at night drives me up the wall...
It's not obsession, it's simply different attitudes. It's a generalisation but Brits tend to be more private than some nationalities, and I'm not going to apologise for the fact that we like a bit of privacy. We live for the most part on a small and crowded island and both want and need our own space. My own back garden is 150 feet long. The first 5 fence panels are 5 feet high, and that is to give us privacy from neighbours when we're relaxing on the patio. The rest of the fence is 3 feet high, so we haven't exactly created the Great Wall of China.
Having suffered for many years because of bad neighbours, I have reached a point where the most valued thing when looking for a new house is its degree of privacy and distance from neighbours.
Extremely loud thumping club music can never be drown by Bach’s music. Cigarette smoke can never be chased away by any daphne or skimmia.
When I walk inside my home, I want to take a deep breath and feel safe, I want to be myself, separated and unobserved, away from the crowd, away from eyes and ears.
When I go into the garden I want to hear bird song and the rustling of leaves. I want to feel free to do things without worrying about other people. I want to talk to the plants and bugs and birds.
I want my life to be folded in, layer upon layer; gently unfolding from time to time to let another human being in. I don’t want it to be permanently exposed or prised open by the force of others.
Privacy is extremely valuable. Having lived in a block of flats during communism, I have learned that the hard way. It’s not about hiding, it’s not about being antisocial, it’s not about doing illegal things - it’s about having space to be and to grow.
‘We’ have discussed this several times on here (so maybe we are a bit obsessed). For me, my garden is an escape from the ‘public’ (in which I am immersed in every day) so creating a feeling of calm, quiet and privacy is important to me. I am not so bothered about others seeing in, but I am bothered about seeing others as it disturbs that feeling of secluded sanctuary. Watching kids bouncing on a trampoline doesn’t really set the scene for serene relaxation IMO. As I think I said on the old thread (see @Dovefromabove ‘s link) - you don’t have that sort of info on house buying particulars and it can be a real deal-breaker.
Having suffered for many years because of bad neighbours, I have reached a point where the most valued thing when looking for a new house is its degree of privacy and distance from neighbours.
Extremely loud thumping club music can never be drown by Bach’s music. Cigarette smoke can never be chased away by any daphne or skimmia.
When I walk inside my home, I want to take a deep breath and feel safe, I want to be myself, separated and unobserved, away from the crowd, away from eyes and ears.
When I go into the garden I want to hear bird song and the rustling of leaves. I want to feel free to do things without worrying about other people. I want to talk to the plants and bugs and birds.
I want my life to be folded in, layer upon layer; gently unfolding from time to time to let another human being in. I don’t want it to be permanently exposed or prised open by the force of others.
Privacy is extremely valuable. Having lived in a block of flats during communism, I have learned that the hard way. It’s not about hiding, it’s not about being antisocial, it’s not about doing illegal things - it’s about having space to be and to grow.
Wise words. I concure wholeheartedly. I hope you've found your peace.
Posts
We knew the immediate neighbours were friendly because we had chanced to meet them in the street when we viewed the house, and it was one of the factors that influenced our choice. My mother is 95 and almost blind. She has a "panic button" to call for help if she has a mishap when no-one else is home, and we were very grateful that our nice neighbours readily agreed to be key holders. We know everyone in our street, except for one house which is converted into small flats and there is a frequent turnover of residents.
I've learned not to open posts on this site that have "screening" or "privacy" in the title, because I know they will make me hot under the collar. Though I was mildly amused when someone asked what to grow to prevent next door's children looking over the fence when they bounced on their trampoline. One respondent helpfully pointed out that the children would be at university by the time the plants grew tall enough.
Maybe the privacy enthusiasts should learn sign language so they can talk in the garden without fear of being overheard.
Extremely loud thumping club music can never be drown by Bach’s music. Cigarette smoke can never be chased away by any daphne or skimmia.
When I walk inside my home, I want to take a deep breath and feel safe, I want to be myself, separated and unobserved, away from the crowd, away from eyes and ears.
When I go into the garden I want to hear bird song and the rustling of leaves. I want to feel free to do things without worrying about other people. I want to talk to the plants and bugs and birds.
I want my life to be folded in, layer upon layer; gently unfolding from time to time to let another human being in. I don’t want it to be permanently exposed or prised open by the force of others.
Privacy is extremely valuable. Having lived in a block of flats during communism, I have learned that the hard way. It’s not about hiding, it’s not about being antisocial, it’s not about doing illegal things - it’s about having space to be and to grow.
For me, my garden is an escape from the ‘public’ (in which I am immersed in every day) so creating a feeling of calm, quiet and privacy is important to me.
I am not so bothered about others seeing in, but I am bothered about seeing others as it disturbs that feeling of secluded sanctuary. Watching kids bouncing on a trampoline doesn’t really set the scene for serene relaxation IMO. As I think I said on the old thread (see @Dovefromabove ‘s link) - you don’t have that sort of info on house buying particulars and it can be a real deal-breaker.
I hope you've found your peace.