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Jokes

2

Posts

  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316

    Hi Mike. I agree that it is one of the funniest ones I’ve heard. I’m still laughing every now and then and getting funny looks from Hubby. Glad you like it.image

    S. E. NSW
  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316

    Ha ha, Mike. Am I to assume by the time that you are posting, that you are also in Australia?

    S. E. NSW
  • Lily PillyLily Pilly Posts: 3,845

    No Pat, Mike is here in Blighty.   He often posts late/early

    Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
    A A Milne
  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316

    Ok Lilyp. I’ve not seen him before.image Might have a Hosta sleep patterns.

    S. E. NSW
  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316

    You really are night owl, Mike.image

    S. E. NSW
  • granmagranma Posts: 1,933

    Very funny funtastic laughs on this thread image 

    Thanks to you all  x

    Last edited: 22 January 2018 13:50:35

  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316

    Glad you like them granma. image I hope we can keep the good laughs coming.

    S. E. NSW
  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316

    We’re south of Canberra in one of the snowy mountains regions called The Monaro,  Mike.  Even though we get cold winters, it’s very hot at the moment - high 30simage. I’ll be 78 in June, so snap!

    image

    S. E. NSW
  • Great pic Pat......here's another joke for you .....

    So Mary and John have spent the last six months persuading Mary's old dad to go into a nursing home .

    Her dad finally agrees and when he sees the place he is quite impressed , especially with his room which has a nice balcony overlooking a very beautiful garden. He is settling in nicely but decides he would like to have his mid day meal on the balcony . So he is enjoying his meal and he leans to his right and the nurse straightens him up.....a few moments later he leans to his left and the nurse straightens him up ......a few moments later he leans forward and once again the nurse straightens him up .....this goes on a few days and then Mary and John visit him.

    So Mary asks "how are you settling in dad , do you like it?"

    He replies "it's very nice dear , the place is great the room is wonderful  but........"

    "but what ?" she says

    "they won't let me fart on the balcony! "image

  • Pat EPat E Posts: 12,316
     The little Irish man was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 
            
            "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat 
            regularly again for 2 days then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 
            weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

            When the little man returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 
            60 lbs! 
            
            "Why, that's amazing", the doctor said, "Did you follow my 
            instructions?" 
            
            The little man nodded. "I'll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t'aut I were 
            going to drop dead on dat 'tird day." 
            
            "From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. 
            
            "No, from the ferkin skippin!!" 
    S. E. NSW
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