My mum passed away yesterday.
ecokid
Posts: 138
I'm at a loss. We got the news early in the morning that she had gone, even though she seemed stable when we left the previous night. I really regret that I wasn't able to hold her hand through her last night. It was snowing when we left the house to visit her after we got the call, which it hasn't done for ages and made the journey to the hospital both incredibly beautiful and sad.
She loved flowers tremendously but despite this she let me dig up some of the flower beds to grow vegetables when I was little. She also took us to many wonderful gardens - Stourhead and Bowood were family favourites, which definitely gave me my love of gardening and nature that I have today. Most importantly she kept the family together (pretty much singlehandedly as she was and only child and his family lived far away) after our dad died when I was still a toddler. She was incredibly brave and was always happy despite the difficult hand she had been dealt. I'm going to go and visit one of these gardens today, just to try and feel closer to her as I just want to hug her.
Posts
Ecokid,
No words can replace your dear Mum or ease the loss you feel. Its obvious she lives on through you and has transferred her love of nature, her passion and her caring and supportive nature on to you. You now carry your Mother with you in your heart and in the very way you are. I'm so sorry for your loss. Enjoy whichever garden you visit, she gave you the gift of the love of gardens. We are all here for you, a gardening family! X
My dad died 1985. He's still with me, in my hands when I take cuttings, when I'm grumpy (big parallel, that!), and when I'm in the woods in winter, remembering him testing me on my winter twigs. I do that to others now when I'm leading walks, so he's still here, in a way. Great idea to wander round one of the gardens and just take time to remember. Crying's ok, too.
H-C
Ekokid - you now have particular memories and they'll stay with you. Every time it snows - it'll bring a lump to your throat, and as time passes, it will bring a smile, as you remember all the lovely things.
Her legacy to you is your love of gardens and nature. You can hold onto that always.
Big hug to you and all your family
I live in west central Scotland - not where that photo is...
Very sorry to hear that. As said, the legacy she has left you will last your lifetime.
Sorry to hear of your loss, ecokid. Give yourself time to heal...
Ecokid ((hugs)) So sorry to hear of your loss. You have nothing to reproach yourself for - a few months ago I sat with my mother into the wee small hours knowing she was going - then the staff said that I must have a rest and made me a bed in the next room - half an hour later she'd slipped away - they said that often people wait until a loved one has left the room.
I'm learning to enjoy the happy memories - I hope that you soon find the happy days take over from the sad ones.
Last edited: 12 February 2017 14:03:02
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Sorry to hear of your sad news Ecokid. Fairy's right you will remember your mum when it snows. My relationship with my Dad was never the best, but everytime I see a lavender coloured Rhododendron I think of him. He had one in the front garden, his pride and joy and I vividly remember passing one in full bloom on the way to his funereal. I think of him everytime I see one. Also both my father in law and mother in law passed away on their own. We had sat with both for hours and hours but they waited until we had left the room before they also left. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. Try and concentrate on the happy times.
I have been thinking what to say to you Ecokid but have been moved myself with the lovely responses you have been given already. At this sad and difficult time, I can see that you have something that will play a big part in your grieving, healing and memories for the future which is a love of nature and gardens. Hold onto this, Ecokid, as it will help and nourish you both now and in the future.
My Mum passed away around this time of year and it is Daffodils that remind me of her. I do have a pang of sadness when I look at Daffodils but I also have a feeling of warmth and closeness to her.
Ecokid, sorry for your loss. You will always have good memories of her.
Hugs to you Ecokid and your family, you're all in my thoughts xx